What do you tell a 5 year old about same sex marriage?

LOL, you must not be married or at least for very long. I have been with the same woman since I was 16. Sex may lead to marriage but after marriage your idea of sex changes. It becomes something my wife gives me once a month to shut me up and stop my eyes from following every nice looking woman I see. What has made my marriage last so long is me depriving my own desires for the benefit of my children.

 

You sound like a smart, caring parent. I believe parenting is the hardest thing we do in our life, and I don't know ONE parent who felt totally secure with the way they raise their children (actually, it is a little scary when parents believe that they have done everything perfectly!).

All we can do is love and teach them, not just with words but through example. The rest is "First, do no arm!"

 

Can't win the argument so put me on ignore. That is called a win.

 

If you're asking my personal opinion, I have nothing against polygamy either.

There's no logical basis for limiting unions to just 2 people.

The only rational limits involve age, consent, and species. Granted, I would include blood relations as another rational limit, but that one can be debated either way.

In general, the state has no business limiting consensual acts between adults, and it shouldn't show preference to one consenting group over another.

 

I guess that depends on how you define "father." Homosexual couples can still have father and mother roles. Gender is somewhat psychological.

Now, sex is biological, but that's another discussion.

 

She's only got two weeks left and so far I can tell it has not advanced past grace. It made my son made when she started bowing her head and saying "god is great god is good let us thank him for our food". Having had to fight against religious propaganda before when I first moved here this one is not to major. Now when a public school teacher attempted to give my son a failing grade on a test for not believing the world was less than 10,000 years old. Or that dinosaurs lived at the same time as people. Yea I threw a fit is a understatement. However after making the admin aware during a parent conference it was solved with a promise to do better from them.

I never wanted her going to head start but another fact of being a parent you some times lose out to the other parent. Wife won that round so I just got to make the best out of it. While I could legally force them to stop the vast majority of the people around here have no issue with-it or think they still don't teach enough religion. So I just pay attention and counteract when I feel I have to for my children.

One of the harder parts of losing a faith in God, is knowing you will never see your loved ones again after they die. I have no desire to cause people to lose that hope. The topic of the OP and other issues are minor IMO as long as you do not do anything extreme you are ok. Trying to explain death in the family to a 5 year old or any age for that matter is one of the hardest things a parent has to do. Doing that with no belief in god is even harder.

 

Experience is always helpful but every child will present new issues. I had one child at 21 and another at 35 very little similarities besides I love them more than life itself. If you do that you will be off to a good start. If people are not prepared to sacrifice everything, you may want for the best interest of the child, they should just get a puppy. Grow up faster and a much shorter commitment. I needed children they are what makes me human IMO. Without them I just would be lost, and likely in jail, dead or just a old hermit in the wilderness somewhere.

 

I can't imagine fighting the battles you have had, I see it on tv but it's hard to believe it really happens....its something I've never had to worry about with my kids in our public school system, its free of all religious influence except when it's pertinent for history classes or a study of religious systems...

we've never experienced that with our family, death is normal and none of the younger children have had trouble accepting the finality of it, they were hurt of coarse but that's normal...maybe my family has been more comfortable longer with a god free life than yours...

 

hard to imagine my life wothout my kids, they're my reason for living...but then again I have friends who never wanted kids seem perfectly happy without them, they certianly travel more than I ever have or will..........now that I recall my life back then was pretty sweet when mrs wyly and I were kid free...

 

Ah, come on! Let's give the 5 yr old minds a break..... they shouldn't be expected to comprehend anything as complex as the institution of marriage, let alone why 2 men or 2 women love each other..... they don't need to have all that adult stuff shoved in their minds. They should be allowed to keep their innocence. They lose it soon enuf as it is.....

As far as marriage goes w/5 yr olds..... if the child is lucky enuf to have a real mom & dad, who love each other and their child(ren), that's all the 5 yr old needs to know about marriage.....

As far as 'love' goes in the 5 yr old's world, what do they really know about 'love'? The only 'love' they can relate to is how they feel about their parents, who love them..... and siblings, other family members. But to be told that Sam & Henry or Jean and Ruth loves each other - the kid doesn't have a clue about what you're taking about and they shouldn't have to......

Kids don't need to have their minds all cluttered up w/unnecessary adult stuff........

 

ya it happens kids end up on the street for all sorts of reasons, some are forced out, and others find the streets safer and friendlier than home...I've known a few, it boggles my mind kids that young survive on the street...what kind of home life did they endure that trading sex for food and shelter is a better option...

 

I grew up in the inner-city not much religious studies in public school. We moved to a very rural area to get back to where my family came from. Yet mainly not send my son to the middle school where I began my public school. I went to Christian schools up untill 7th grade. Not a good experience to say the least.
That was one of my easy battles,the look on the admin's faces said it all. They could see their jobs flash before their eyes. They were helpful and treated my son well up till he graduated. I would much rather face the issue I face here than in the inner-city. As long as my child comes home at the end of the day I can overcome any false teachings. In the inner-city you just hope they come home.

My family is complicated the men are usually less religious than the women. My father has not believed since I can remember. My mother more scared to break with tradition not real religious but believes in god. Me and my wife both were taught religion becauses our mothers wished it so. Me by Methodist and southern baptist, my wife Mormon and roman catholic. We do not try to convince our children that our point of view is correct. Only offer counter opinions to what they hear even if I do not agree with those opinions. Religion is something that everyone must decide on their own. IMO absent being bombarded with propaganda by mom and dad the facts will usually prevail. My mother-in-law took my son to a Mormon church once at around 9 years of age. She never asked again after he embrassed the sunday school teacher by asking to many question he could not answer.

My children both had to experience the death of a great-grand parent at around the age of 5. Lucky to have got to know them since I never met my great-grand parents. While they took it as well as one could expect. A parent wants to comfort their child it is more difficult for the parent when the parent can not find comfort themselves. The only comfort I can find is so far all of my loved ones were suffering so bad at the end that death was a end to that pain by the time they passed.

 

For the most part I agree it depends on the Child's interest. Very short term attention spans on a topic they have little interest. Like my daughter her interest faded almost immediately. If not I would have got many more questions with those little eyes looking into mine wanting answers. To much talking we likely sound like the adults from peanuts to our children. You have to judge every situation differently if the child sees a couple of the same gender they likely need more info than one that has never been exposed to anything other than mom and dad.

You can talk to a kid about many things but a puppy runs up wanting to play that will be the part that stands out to a 5 year old. If they remain interested they can suprise you. My son wanted to be a paleontologist at 5 I had to look it up to see what is was, by the time he was 8 he knew all the dinosaurs by both their common and Latin names and could even spell them.

My little girl wants to be a painter, hunter, and fisher(the way she says it) when she grows up. While that will change I enjoy the simple times while they last. The teenage years are hard when raising boys. I can only imagine the horrors that come with a teenage girl and other peoples horny little boys after her all the time. Not sure I will survive but until then it is all gravy.

 

Yes, as I had said b/f, as long as the child asks questions, they should be answered, but kept short, simple and age appropriate....

Keeping the communication line open b/t parent & child is so important , so they know they can always go to you. As my kids got older, I told them they could talk to me about anything, even if they felt I was unfair about whatever - just so it was respectful. It worked for us.....

Yeah, the teen yrs can be pretty prickly at times, but I have no doubt you and your daughter will survive it very well.........

 

sad truth our kid fits in a category of children that have a high propensity for suicide.

 

The one and only english definition of the word.

 

that propensity to suicide is now being linked to bullying/abuse, essentially the same PTSD that combat veterans experience...

 

You handled it perfectly. A 5 year old is way too young to discuss these kinds of things with and in a few days, it will be forgotten. You have two options here. One, she is just a loving kid and thinks marriage is about being close to your best friends and that's all there is to it. Nothing sexual at all. Two, she is a budding lesbian and then again, there is nothing you can do about this one either. So go with the flow, don't make a big deal out of anything she says and enjoy her while you can, it goes quickly.

 

I chose to tell my children they can love and spend their lives with whomever they pick. So long as they treat them well. I suppose I shattered their innocence. But maybe they won't feel compelled to lie later..or hide...or hang themselves in a bathroom for fear of rejection.

 

Discussing love is entirely different from discussing sex.

I wouldn't explain sex to a 5 year old, but explaining how certain people of the same gender love each other the same way certain people of opposite genders do doesn't seem particularly explicit.

 

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/father

It can be taken literally or figuratively.

A woman can "father" a child just the same as a stepfather or adoptive father can. Obviously, the literal biological sense only applies to men.

 

So let me get this straight. Children's books are nearly all written by liberals as a form of political propaganda you say. Why would that be? Don't conservatives write? If not, why not? It seems you have an extremely low opinion of the abilities of conservatives.

 

Adopting a child isnt fathering a child, literally or figuratively

 

Well, only because you simply presume a lesbian loves her sexual partner just like a woman loves the father of her children.

 

I doubt very seriously you shattered their innocence. It is a decsion that every parent must make. If my daughter had wanted to discuss it further I would have. When I told her you do not get married just because you are friends. She would have wanted to know why people get married.

So depending on the child the detail in the answers you give are different. If you carry the conversation beyond their interest they will likely not retain much of the extra info. If you do not give enough they will seek answers from others. In the days since I believe I handled it about right for my little girl. That in no way means I think anyone who handled it differently is wrong. If you did not show them pornography or tell them god will hate you and you will burn in a lake of fire, you likely did ok.

I am not scared my daughter will become lesbian. In fact straight sex that results in a teen pregnancy would bother me much more. Whatever people may say about homosexuality it does not result in pregnancy. Which IMO can be the most destructive thing to a young girl.