What do you tell a 5 year old about same sex marriage?

I had a interesting conversation when getting my daughter out of the bath. She told me she wanted to marry "little girls name" when she grew up. I was caught dumb founded because I did not know what to say. Which is unusual for me in being a parent it usually comes naturally. After a brief pause I asked why. She said because she is my friend. I said you do not just get married because someone is your friend. As I was getting her dressed she said it again. I told her you are to young to get married and should not talk about getting married at her age.

Lucky she did not pusue it any further because I was basically blank on what to say. She will be 5 in June so not ready for discussions like that IMO. I have no issue with same-sex marriage but admit this made me uncomfortable. She has said she wanted to marry little boys before and I would joke and say I guess I am going to have to take a talk with that little boy.(what I usually say when I have to talk about something serious with someone)

I am curious what others would tell their child if they made that statement?

 

Ignore it. She is 5. When I was 5 I wanted to dig holes in the backyard and tried to jump through my TV to fight the bad guys with the power rangers. Kids are generally stupid. Furthermore if 10 years from now she decides that she wants to marry Cindy, what can you do? Its unlikely any talk you have with her now will change anything.

 

To be honest though I think its disappointing that we feel the need to care about rather or not our kids will like penis or vagina when they get older.

 

I agree and honestly just want my babies happy. Same thing when she came home and started saying grace before she would eat. My son who is in college was offended that she learned that in the head start program I thought it was kinda cute. I told him she was too young for that conversation as well. I believe in giving my children information and allowing them to make their own decsions as long as they do not decided something stupid. Then I will give more information. I assume it was just a child being innocent but starting to wonder what happens in the head start program.

 

As I said I just want them happy. Very small Christian community so not the kind of thing I want her speaking about in public at her age.

 

You tell them the same thing you would about opposite sex marriage. There is no more reason to be concerned thst she says she will marry her girl friend than there is when she says she will marry her guy friend. Children do not understand what marriage is about and are not ready for such discussions at that age regardless of what kind of marriage it is.

 

I am not concerned over her statement with the exception she may say it to someone else. I will tolerate them teaching my child to pray that is innocent enough but the thought of her being shamed by the teachers would make me angry. I agree it is likely just the sweetness of a child which is why I tried to just ignore with a warning to not talk about marriage with other people because she is too young.

 

It was many years ago (20 or so) when one of my daughters said essentially the same thing to me.

My wife and I never used the "you're too young" argument to not address a legitimate question or statement.

So after some quick thinking, I merely said, "when you get older I hope you fall in love with somebody who loves you just as much and treats you like my little princess should be treated".

I didn't try to address the issue of gender at all.
But then again, I couldn't have cared less if she repeated her desire to marry her little girl friend in public. she was only 4 or 5 years old.

then there was the time that my son at age 3 asked me at the family thanksgiving dinner table "daddy, what does F&&K mean?"
Wish I had a camera when three or four adults spit their turkey across the table. That kind of childish innocence is what makes toddlers so damn cute.

 

Yea the your to young to talk about marriage was likely not the best thing to say but I drawing a blank. Your response was much better but I honestly do not want to think about her growing up and getting married. It makes me wonder what goes on at her school. I was opposed to her going but my wife put her in head start anyway. The area is very religious and I do not want my baby teased or a teacher giving her a opinion on a subject she is too young to talk about.

LOL, children are the most precious thing in this world, their innocence is refreshing.

 

What will I tell my grandson when he turns 5 about same sex unions? NOT ONE DAMNED THING!!!!!

 

I would've gone along with the conversation, totally harmless...

 

I like your take on this. Everyone is saying that a 5 year old is too young to understand, but I disagree. My second son just turned 6, but when he was 5 I was amazed at how much he retained and understood. Children are open to influence at that age and it's a good idea to take advantage of that. I often say that gay "married" couples are just playing house, that it's not a real marriage, but I actually borrowed that phrase from my son who first came up with it.

 

If one of my kids' teachers tried to "shame" her for saying something like that, there would be a raytri explosion in the principal's office.

 

Tell her she can start dating as soon as she turns 40.

 

my girls at that age were convinced they were going to marry daddy when they got older...no harm done, they figured it out on their own...

 

if you ignore issues, as parents, during 'teachable moments', you can't be surprised later when they are blindsided by issues.....


way to be a proactive parent people.... (ignore it.... SMDH)



I had a conversation with my 7 y.o. the other day.... a kid called him a "gay girl" in his first grade class. He asked me what a gay girl was.


I just said "a gay girl is a gilr who wants to marry other girls"


the look on his face was of "huh? girls want to marry other girls? I thought it was only guy/girl" of course he couldn't articulate that, and I knew if I just started bombarding him with the many reasons I don't support gay marraige... it would be like explaining brain surgery techniques to your average person.... so I just said

"yep, some girls want to marry other girls, and while your mother and I don't agree with that, and think it's wrong, it doesn't make them any less of a person. People disagree all the time. Do you have any other question?"

and he was like "no, just wondering... hey, can we get in the hot-tub when we get home"


So I don't think ignoring it is the right thing whatsoever, I do think it has to be explained in a way that they can comprehend (based on age and maturity)


What this also does is lets him know he can come to me with questions, no matter what it's about. I will explain my opinion and guide him the way I deem appropriate as far as opinions go. (read - I'm not forcing my opinion on him, brainwashing.... even if it's not the opinion you share)

 

Which is what I did!...they kept negotiating lower dating ages as they got older until they just stopped asking for permission...kids are smart with an occasional bit of guidance they're capable of making the decision thats right for them on their own...

 

lazze-fairre approach to parenting makes for young grandparents

 

I've had similar conversations with my kids but I took extra effort not to inject my opinion, I just told them some people are different and different is ok...there was always a possibilty was one of them would be gay and the last thing I wanted to do was cause them any conflict/insecurity.. I told them I'll still love them no matter what, I'm cool with their choices...

 

I have no issues raising my kids based off my values... I choose to lead the ship, instead of letting it drift whichever way the political winds happen to be blowing.


Is it a garantee nothing will go wrong, absolutely not.... but I will not ever apologize in instilling my values, religious beliefs, political views in my children. They may still turn into gay liberal athiests but that's their decision... all I can do is guide.


letting them figure it out is why teens get pregnant at 15.... why kids experiment with drugs, etc.

your kids may have turned out fine, and not a statistic... but I one time crossed a street without looking both ways and didn't get hit by a truck.... I still wouldn't suggest not looking both ways.

 

none starting dating until very late, two were in their 20's and don't even want families...always safe sex, all are tertiary graduates, I gave them the freedom to make well informed decisions and they exceeded my expectations...I'm 60 and dont expect any grandkids for another five years...

 

just because you drive a motorcycle without a helmet and survived.... doesn't mean that everyone who rides without a helmet is as lucky.

 

kids will experiment no matter what their parents tell them, I was kid as were you we all did stuff we were told not to...

Give them the right info and they'll make the right decisions...teach them about sex along with the proper contraception and teen pregnancy rates drop...information doesn't cause pregnancy, ignorance does...

 

no, not every kid experiments with drugs.... I've raised one success (who used her mother, my ex as an example of what not to do)

I didn't experiement

My brother didn't


I see no reason why I must reserve myself to thinking kids on drugs is acceptable.

 

risk is getting on motorcycle with no explaination how it works after you've already been forbidden even owning one...

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never had a cigarette, never had a beer...I dont believe you...