Now Chivalry has always been refered to as to a male, With your all definition would you consider it (Since it is honestly showed by both male and females) Relitively dead. I asked is chivalry dead, and you all assume i meant males only, I used the door opening because it is the most common. If a Female were to open a door for you would you gladly say thank you (If you were a male) I have heard from some women (I have never said all) that they would like to be the same as males, Except would like the door held for them and other little things like that. In the general sense of "Chivalry" by your definition, is it dead. Do you personally when you go out see more people willing to help each other or do you see more people fending for themselves. Even when you used to bump into someone by accident most people (I have noticed the trend with younger people) Will shoot you a dirty look and tell you "move". (Females and males) Just yesterday (Which is why I brought this up and made me think) I was bumped by a gentlemen at a restraunt while he was with his spouse I appolagized and so did he, And we moved away from each other a few feet. But I was thinking this is something that everyone should know. But then I have always been taught and beleive women should be treated a little more special then a dude, just some things should be common practice. So by your alls definition (Main reason its in the Womens Rights thread, Is more women would notice this change from people being polite more to rude, since most guys wont pick it up themselves unless well aware) Has chivalry died and has it affected womens impressions of people now?
I don't disagree with the intent behind chivalry -- except that I do think that the way we do so teaches women to be dependent. A boy who has a bully is told to fight back, a girl is taught to run for a protector. A boy having trouble with homework is told to work on it himself, a girl is supposed to get help. A boy who wants more money is told to work longer hours or impress the boss for a promotion. He's told to pick well-paying industries even though he's going to be working more hours at dirtier jobs and moving around a lot. Girls are told to seek a work-life balanced, and are specifically not encouraged to seek out those types of jobs. Instead, we tell her there's nothing silly about majoring in Social Sciences or Arts and expecting that that will automatically result in a good middle class jobs. In other words, we don't demand that they grow up, which means that they'll never achieve anything without a man to help them do so.
I think it's just common decency to not let the door shut in the face of the person behind you regardless of sex. Most folks will take a second to make sure the door is held open in that situation.
I think what needs to be taken into consideration is the fact that in today's world, people are much more "individualized." What I mean to say is that our social structure has altered in that people think about themselves more than they think to assist others. That is not to say that people have transformed into jerks, however, independence is valued more in today's world. This change can be attributed to social media. Nowadays, most interactions between two people are made via technology/social media. For these reason, people are not used to real human interactions such as holding the door for one another all the time. People tend to walk around with their earbuds plugged in their ears, and they walk around texting others or updating their Facebook status that they often don't notice other people walking into the same building as them. The reasons mentioned above suggest a decrease in chivalry, however, with my personal experience, I know for a fact that it is not dead. I attend a very large college campus, and am constantly moving from one building to the next. Most of the time, while entering these buildings, someone holds the door for me or waits for me to reach the door and holds it open. The people who hold the door are both male and female, so I believe that respect is sustained within our society today, it might just not be as prominent as it once was.
The dictionary defines chivalry two ways: 1. the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, esp courage, honour, justice, and a readiness to help the weak 2. courteous behavior The first definition is, of course, "dead." However, the ideals of knighthood are how we tend to define courteous (chivalrous) behavior The second definition, however, is still relevant. It has simply changed over time. At one point in the past, chivalry was a man holding open a door for his wife or bringing her flowers as a gift. Equally courteous behavior was a woman cooking dinner for her husband or doing his laundry. This behavior was chivalry in a sexist world, where men were seen as strong and powerful and women as fragile an weak. Today's society has (mostly) moved past some of these sexist ideas. As women gain equality with men, chivalry doesn't necessarily die, it's just changes. In todays world, chivalry is just courteous behavior, but it still retains some of the old idea that it is "reediness to help the weak." Today, chivalry may be holding a door open for anyone, especially someone who is momentarily "weaker" such as a man holding a box, a disabled person, or a child. To expand the definition, it can be any courteous act toward anyone, like shoveling an elderly person's driveway or bringing a gift to a new neighbor.
None of that first definition is really dead, not by all at least. Some of us still strive for those virtues.
Yes this is true. As I said "courteous behavior" is based on the ideals of traditional knighthood. But I doubt that people today are worried about their status as a knight when they decide to open doors for people. Maybe I should have been a little more specific in my definitions
If you want to pretend men and women are the same thing, go right ahead. Be my guest. But I'm not opening doors for anything with a dick.
It's worth it when women start apprciating it. "Swag" isn't chivalry (not saying all women are like this so dont pull the nawalt on me)
And men have always been there. Yup! it's a terrifying thought, women being selfish! How dare they!? That is acting way too much like men! What do they think they are, HUMANS?????
When I was travelling across New Zealand I stopped a young girl from getting taken advantage of. She was very very drunk and I escorted her home. I won some serious brownie points back at the pub where I found her.
I personally don't see what's wrong with holding a door open for a man who's carrying lots of stuff. It seems like common courtesy.
Meh, you're being a little too specific with your examples here. I'm talking generally. If somebody's got their hands full, it's just kind a nice gesture to get a door. But if your hands are empty, there's no point. It's a little gay. That's all I'm saying.
I hold the door for anyone behind me. I will always allow a woman ahead of me. I always hold the door for anyone with arms full of stuff. I will likewise usually allow vehicles to merge ahead of me, unless they are aggressive and trying to cut in, then they get nothing, in fact I will often slow down once ahead of them. Overall I think women ought to be treated like ladies, but if they don't say "thanks" I think I should have not bothered. 99% of the time there is a pleasant thanks and a smile on each side, and we each go on about our day feeling a little better and a little happier. Courtesy is easy and cheap and it makes life much more pleasant.
I don't see it in such a manner. I hold the door open for whomever is around, I generally let folks in front of me. It's just who I am. The only thing I would like in return is a thank or thank you. When it comes dead, for me, is when folks don't say thanks or thank you. So it becomes, almost expected by some people. Like, what I'm doing is nothing out of the blue and I'm doing nothing more than they expect from me. In which case, a thanks or thank you isn't warranted. However, man or woman, they get treated the same.
Yesterday going into a 7/11 a chap beat me to the door. Held it open for me and ushered me ahead of him. I thanked him as convention dictates, but inside the shop I stood aside to allow him the correct position in the queue and he refused. He said "Whats an extra minute going to matter"
Funny you should say that, as one time I was going into Starbucks and the same thing happened to me. Variation to the story, I offered the spot in line and the guy accepted. What I've learned in life is that I won't allow others to dictate how I do things. Just because someone doesn't say thanks or thank you to me, for holding the door open, doesn't mean I'm going to stop doing it. It just means that the a hole in me comes out and I say, fairly loudly, 'You're welcome'.
Well being a gentleman is a means on to itself. The pleasure is knowing you are conducting yourself in a manner that is acceptable to you, not others.
So you think it's "gay" to be nice....I guess being nasty is straight? """if they don't say "thanks" I think I should have not bothered."" So you're doing it for YOU...that's not courtesy. """"we each go on about our day feeling a little better and a little happier.""" And how do you know she is feeling better and happier because you held a door for her ?
Yes. That's exactly what I said. And furthermore, being nice will actually turn you gay. It's been scientifically proven. This is why I go out of my way to be an (*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*). Because I don't want to get any gay on me by accidentally opening a door for someone without a vagina. Surely you understand.
