All the Single Ladies Recent years have seen an explosion of male joblessness and a steep decline in mens life prospects that have disrupted the romantic market in ways that narrow a marriage-minded womans options: increasingly, her choice is between deadbeats (whose numbers are rising) and playboys (whose power is growing). But this strange state of affairs also presents an opportunity: as the economy evolves, its time to embrace new ideas about romance and familyand to acknowledge the end of traditional marriage as societys highest ideal. Ten years later, I occasionally ask myself the same question. Today I am 39, with too many ex-boyfriends to count and, I am told, two grim-seeming options to face down: either stay single or settle for a good enough mate. At this point, certainly, falling in love and getting married may be less a matter of choice than a stroke of wild great luck. A decade ago, luck didnt even cross my mind. Id been in love before, and Id be in love again. This wasnt hubris so much as naïveté; Id had serious, long-term boyfriends since my freshman year of high school, and simply couldnt envision my life any differently. Well, there was a lot I didnt know 10 years ago. The decision to end a stable relationship for abstract rather than concrete reasons (something was missing), I see now, is in keeping with a post-Boomer ideology that values emotional fulfillment above all else. And the elevation of independence over coupling (I wasnt ready to settle down) is a second-wave feminist idea Id acquired from my mother, who had embraced it, in part, I suspect, to correct for her own choices. http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/11/all-the-single-ladies/8654/1/ An interesting read on modern American society. The affluent, educated class isn't apparently reproducing (is Feminism a root cause?- read on), but the welfare class certainly is. _
bad Don! bad! as long as you've been posting here, you know that you need at least a couple lines of your own commentary. anywho, this article excludes my own special circumstance of being a deadbeat playboy.
Right here (after the article link as I usually do): "An interesting read on modern American society. The affluent, educated class isn't apparently reproducing (is Feminism a root cause?- read on), but the welfare class certainly is."
As the left sold to the country that the nuclear family unit is not longer needed, a thing of the past, etc... they sold women on "independence". They did not tell them that raising a family and finding a true mate will be very difficult in such an environment. It was all a scam to get women and children dependent on the Federal Government... and with dependency comes power and control over those that are dependent. The men have largely decided that they don't have to put up with the "modern women" for very long. I have many friends that would love a traditional women, but never found her. So they "love them and leave them", and these stupid women wonder why they are just getting "used". You buy into the Liberal philosophy and what they sell in the National Media and it's your own problem if you can't find a viable love. The beta males will be the doormats, and then the women will run to the alphas for some true "comforting". I also know far too many beta males that are wondering why they lost their women to "some other guy" that just used the woman and bailed. Because, you (*)(*)(*)(*)(*), you're weak. The women realize that, you don't truly give her want she wants and how she wants it. Quit your (*)(*)(*)(*)(*)ing liberals if you bought into the feminization of the American male. You deserve to be lonely, you deserve to have to settle.... and your settling will likely not work out.
I certainly don't cry for conservative women who are one divorce away from poverty. I also don't cry for conservative boys who get used for their money. It's really funny isn't it? When a woman works, she gets told she's "ruining society". When a woman doesn't work and has to marry if she wants financial stability, she's a gold digger. Basically, women can't win. And I'd rather be a financially secure "society ruiner" that a glorified prostitute. There's a reason men like you can only keep women around who need money. When women have their own money, they tend to ditch losers.
I agree; it's a bed of their own making. I think they've set the bar so high that if they can't marry Prince Harry, they aren't going to accept anyone- until they are 39. LOL! But, by then, the expiration date has come and went. A few other ways to look at the sexual revolution: Capitalists got two full time workers for the price of one middle class living standard where there use to be one breadwinner. Mom actually had time to be a loving mother and wife instead of a stressed-out commuter soccer mom. Big Education is making money hand over fist with all the forever single women going to college. I don't know where they are all going to work in the new global economy. _
To be a gold-digger, your primary concern has to be financial advancement. That's not the sole reason that people get married in general.
I bolded the part of your post that is all too true. It was a scam and too many Americans bought it. Back in the day, a family could have a father working as a skilled mechanic and they would get by. Nowadays, the woman has to take on a job too for the family to make ends meet. We bought into the "sexual revolution", which was actually the modern enslavement of the American woman. My mom, a devout liberal, "had it all".... me and my sisters got stuck at a baby sitter with 20 other kids. I turned out well... my sisters... not so much. The oldest is a devout liberal bureaucrat who is single and mid 40's. The one just older than me has fought drug issues for decades and is unemployed. I will never do that to my children. My wife is at home. I have friends that both worked making over $100K each and their children have been raised by other people. The kids are tyrants. It's insane.... and many of them are divorced or have serious marital problems. My wife and I have never had issues. My kids are at the top of their class. It does help that my wife is smoking hawt.
Indeed, I'm sure it does! LOL I'm sure she knows you feel that way about her too. And to the first comment I bolded: it also brought about the chickification of American men. ( My thanks to Rush for that.)
What happens to women who don't work when they get divorced? How does a woman without a job/money/resources leave a bad marriage? If we're going to talk about scams, lets talk about how sad it is that some men get scammed into having more mouths to feed with no extra income.
Right! So in our magical land where women shouldn't have to work, women who are born into poverty should stay in poverty lest they be labeled gold diggers. See, when marriage is a woman's only means to support herself, that tends to be really bad for society. We can pay lip service to the idea that it's good to have someone staying home with the kids, but at the same time, if a woman can't afford to leave an abusive situation how is it fair for the kids to have to watch their mother take abuse? And how does that set a good example?
I think the fact people of a certain ideology are staying away from this thread shows its merit. Political correctness is obviously as big of a contributor, as people don't want to even comment on something they know is true, but are programmed differently. I think we are at a point, as men, since we can't dictate the choices of women, where you must be either the guy she cheats on or with. Very rare is the woman who wouldn't "upgrade", let alone cheat for some guilty pleasure. They are just sneakier by nature and have enough self control to only do it when they can get away with it. I have lots of friends who are "betas", and I feel sorry for them. Hell, a lot of them wait 'til dawn for their women to come home from a "girls night out", and the kids they are watching are not even theirs. But you can't tell guys like that anything. Be glad, for those of a higher class, who can afford a traditional lifestyle and the women it merits. You are truly blessed. The lower class is Sodom and Gomorrah.
I've had more than my share of female conquest but I got off the merry-to-round 6 years ago at 29. Overall, my truths were that I don't have to live up to the expectation of the perception of others, just go for what you want. The process of finding a mate is tough for both men in women. The most idiotic idea created was the idea of settling. A person that has an idea of too many quotas to meet to be in a relationship is limiting rather than settling. You are looking to be with another individual that is a free willed person that has the ability to change at anytime. If both people respect each other, the relationship can be whatever you make it.
But, why do they have to work? Because wages have been suppressed by the sexual revolution, right? No, they can marry or work in the work force, but they wouldn't have to because of suppressed wages. Women have always been in the work force. So, you want to flush society down the toilet because of a minority of dysfunctional families? Isn't that throwing the baby out with the bathwater? Look, we have seen social pathology rise- not decline, since the Left social revolution. The proof's in the pudding. _
People work to feed themselves. Marriage isn't a good way to support yourself. I don't want to flush society down the toilet. I'm not sure why people supporting themselves is considered bad. What's bad is being in a unstable financial situation (someone else's money =/= your money) because you have some weird 50's fantasy. Denying women the ability to have any say in their destiny is how you destroy society. There's a reason that societies are better off when women are better off.
I'm not denying anyone anything, but I am certainly being critical of where the Left's social revolution is taking us. People ultimately decide what they want to do, but culture makes some choices more advantageous or acceptable. A marriage is many things. One of which is a cornerstone of civilization. A nation of lone people working only to pursue selfish interests isn't going to produce a following generation of well-adjusted citizens. If the US evolves into a nation of degenerates, we won't deserve our birth right, and we certainly won't keep it. _
