The feelings are often bundled inside and repressed. They still manifest themselves though; depression, anxiety, difficulty sleeping, self-destructive behavior are typical symptoms. Many women are unable to recognize that their abortion was the source of their psychological problems until many years later when they finally seek healing.
She is not just "telling others not to make the same mistakes", she is doing her level best to get laws passed to force other women to comply with her opinion.
I can understand why you may disagree with what she's doing, but I can't understand why you don't understand why she's doing what she's doing. She's trying to pass laws to make murders illegal. You would do the same exact thing if you were her.
Oh stop. Anti-abortion laws do nothing to reduce the rate of abortion. They only make the religious zealots feel better about themselves.
In spite of all the actual evidence to the contrary. That's why I'm not buying it. Those who truly want to reduce abortion rates will promote the policies proven to do that. If you choose to ignore all the available evidence, then your motives are in question.
Look at Poland's abortion rates, before and after criminalization. From 1992 to 1993, we see a nearly 90% drop. Here we can clearly see that the abortion rate did dramatically increase after abortion became legalized: (this is from a pro-choice organization, by the way)
So then, why does Churchmouse really want to makes abortions illegal, if it won't reduce the amount of abortions that will happen?
Ahh, well that's because I believe that making abortions illegal will actually reduce the instances of them happening, but I had just pretended to agree with you for the sake of this argument.
Multiple studies and empirical evidence proves you are wrong. Ignoring overwhelming evidence brings your motives into question. That and your use of the term "slut" to describe women.
I don't see how a woman could have one of her twins aborted. Maybe if it was very very early in the pregnancy, but from what little I've read into this it's very difficult to take out just one until later in the pregnancy during the fetal stage. If you want to act with tactical precision you need to wait until the target comes into a bigger view.
looks like the first link in the Opening Post is no longer working I found an archived copy of the original page and will cut and paste here, along with the comment section. http://www.parents.com/blogs/dadabase/2011/08/14/deep-thoughts/the-half-abortion-only-keeping-one-twin The Half Abortion: Only Keeping One Twin August 14, 2011 at 8:31 pm , by Nick Shell Eight months. In todays publication of the New York Times, there is an article entitled The Two-Minus-One Pregnancy. It tells of the growing number of women who are pregnant with twins and choose to abort only one of the fetuses, and allowing the other to survive. In other words, these women are having a half abortion. According to the article, New Yorks Mount Sinai Medical Center performed 101 abortions last year; 38 of those pregnancy terminations involved a mother pregnant with twins who decided to only abort one unborn child. And thats just one medical center in the entire country. One mother who used fertility drugs to get pregnant, then aborted only one fetus, gives her reasoning for the decision: If I had conceived these twins naturally, I wouldnt have reduced this pregnancy, because you feel like if theres a natural order, then you dont want to disturb it. But we created this child in such an artificial manner in a test tube, choosing an egg donor, having the embryo placed in me and somehow, making a decision about how many to carry seemed to be just another choice. The pregnancy was all so consumerish to begin with, and this became yet another thing we could control. What is it about the idea of a half abortion that somehow seems more difficult to grasp than a normal abortion? The immediate thing that comes to mind is that it is an ultimate case of playing God. As if a normal abortion wasnt already giving one person the authority to choose another human beings ability to live, a half abortion gives a person the ability to decide which unborn child deserves to live and which one deserves to die. Thats playing God, times two. Is there any justification for a half abortion? The article in the New York Times gives several examples of why women made their decision: 1. The mother was 45 years old and already had children. She felt financially insecure, as well as, too old to have twins. 2. The mother was known as a good parent, highly devoted to her children. Pregnant with twins, she decided she couldnt be equally devoted to two more; just one. 3. The mother already had a son. Then she got pregnant with twins; a boy and a girl. She chose to keep the girl. 4. Many of these mothers were in their 2nd marriage and already have kids from their previous marriages. Twins would have been too complicated, compared to only one more addition to the family. 5. Some were single mothers. 6. Some mothers did not want to jeopardize their education. 7. Some did not want to jeopardize their careers. 8. One womans husband was an officer in the Army, fighting in Iraq. They already had a few kids. Twins were too much a risk if something happened to her husband. For those of us unfamiliar with the idea of a half abortion until today, we now make a decision in our own minds of whether it is ethically justifiable or wrong. The fact that The New York Times is doing a story about it says something in and of itself: This is not your typical gray area moral dilemma. This isnt a discussion about whether abortion is right or wrong, in general. Honestly, pro-choice vs. pro-life debates bore me. Polls show that our nation is split 50/50 on abortion. Most of us have already made up our minds on the issue and the truth is, we are not going to convince each other otherwise via comments on a blog post; especially if we ourselves play God by judging other peoples character and life decisions. I hope it is clear that I am not asking anyone to cast stones, but instead to think with an open mind about a tough issue that has some undeniable ethical questions surrounding it. I enjoy mature, mutually respectable, deep conversations. Therefore, Im curious to know how other people feel about the two minus one pregnancy. What ethical issues does the half abortion raise? comment section: Tiff Roldan · Paterson, New Jersey This is truly dispicable. We are now living In a world where it is legal for these craziies to shop for babies. How can u say not to judge this people? Oh im sordy I already have a boy so im getting rid of the boy and keeping the girl.wait till that girl grows up and finds out you killed her twin brother purely because you felt lile it. These people should be euthanized before they have a chance to concieve and then abort their children. These were not even unplanned pregnancies! its just appalling! Let me waste all this time money and energy tryinh to conceive a child so that I can abort it! What is wrong with people! May 8, 2013 10:45pm Tristen Stark · Cedar Falls, Iowa Tina Salinas thought of you on this one. Im not commenting on the moral questions here but this is something I had not heard of until now. May 9, 2013 1:32pm Rae Smith Evans · Lawrence, Kansas Can you imagine the survivor's guilt the remaining child would live with if he/she ever became aware of what happened? May 9, 2013 1:45pm Kelly Dunavin Your right! Would you EVER admit to the surviving one what you had done? I sure wouldn't. May 31, 2013 1:49pm Roxanne Camille Crozier · Examples of aborting babies being justifiable? There is no justification for that. All those reasons are RIDICULOUS. How can people be so self-centered and thoughtless? May 9, 2013 9:17pm Jacque White 45 and got pregnant... Not too old for one, but too old for two... Why have unprotected sex if you know you're able to still get pregnant? Couldn't equally provide to twins, decided to keep one... Already had a boy - got pregnant with b/g twins and decided that they only wanted the girl... Married twice already - got pregnant and decided twins would be too complicated... They were single and decided twins were too much......See More May 10, 2013 12:24am Rebecca Sands · Lincoln, Nebraska How can you look at the surviving child and not feel enormously regretful about the one who is not there? May 13, 2013 5:57pm Althea Hayton Juju Freeman I am the sole survivor of an abortion attempt, that took my brother from me. Once I realised - aged 55 - what the problem was that had wrecked by life, it took another six years to heal completely. I now head an organisation to help womb twin srvivors, and selective reduction is a major concern to us all. Apr 12, 2014 5:50am Christine Carpenter Adams · Grayson, Kentucky As the mother of twins who are now sixteen and an 11 year old who was a twin pregnancy who's twin miscarried at 4 months gestation I know these children are going to have repercussions for their parents decisions. My sixteen year old girls are so close they feel each others pain and they are so connected. I was a single mom with a five year old when the twins were born and I cant imagine life without them! So blessed to have a mother who told me I could do it no matter what when I worried about caring for them. My son is 11 he was never told about his twin and at age 2 he started saying he had a baby sister in my tummy but she went away from him and died. He would talk about his twin quite often and we at that age had never told him about the miscarriage of his twin. At 11 he still mourns for her occasionally and talks about what it will be like to meet her when he goes to heaven. I cant even fathom the thought of purposefully terminating a pregnancy. May 16, 2013 6:16pm Nereida Olivas · Albuquerque, New Mexico It is crazy how your twins feel each other pain, and how your youngest knows about his twin even though you never told him about the m/c. May 29, 2013 10:45am Becky Johnson- Opalka · Works at Stay-at-home parent I was under the impression that the only reason that people choose to abort one of a set of twins, was when there was one twin that was taking away the nutrients from the other, but it would cause both of them to have a really grim outcome. May 20, 2013 11:20am Chel Garrison · Life Changer at Genesis PURE Corp. But even in that... Twin to Twin Transfusion.... you can't choose. I know. I am a mom who was told 85% chance my girls would die before birth from it. Guess what... They are 11, healthy and strong. Drs can't know the outcome. Jun 9, 2013 3:07pm Christine Fontenot Castille · Wife & Mother at Stay at home mom n wife As a mother of twins I could not imagine having one and not the other. Children are a gift from God no matter if it was natural or fertility you were blessed with twins . So shame on the parents who chose to do away with a healthy baby that would have been loved by someone who would have adopted the child . May 21, 2013 6:22pm me There is a certain closeness being a twin ( I know, I am one and am a mother to a pair). It seems that as the living one grew up, they would feel an incredible sense of loss. I pray that people considering to "reduce" because of selfish reasons, will reconsider and think about those little babies instead of their own agendas! May 22, 2013 1:51pm Jill Jeffrey Unless there is a medical issue that would put the mother or child in some type of harm, that would be my one and only reason for saying this is ok. I am pro-choice, but not in this situation. It's one thing if you do not wish to have/raise a child, but to terminate a pregnancy of one child over another?! I could not possibly live with that choice. May 28, 2013 10:45am Kelly Dunavin I couldn't even read all of this article. This is HORRIBLE, SELFISH, AND DISGUSTING. Do the people that does this, want a high five or something? Sorry, but they shouldn't even be allowed to have any children. Go ahead and RANT on this all you want. People like this make me sick. THIS CRAP SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED PERIOD. May 31, 2013 1:48pm Kande Kane · Fort Myers, Florida I agree with you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Apr 25, 2014 11:41am Roberta DN · Veterinary Assistant at Banfield Pet Hospital that is f-cking disgusting, f-cking selfish ass murderers that's the way I see it. Jun 2, 2013 9:47am Melissa Eckmann · College of Lake County I have no words for how disgusting this is! Jun 2, 2013 11:41am Linda Del Vecchio Gorecki So sad Jun 2, 2013 12:00pm Sandra Lynch sometimes you can only shake your head in wonder. Jun 2, 2013 12:29pm Stephanie Wood · Jasper, Indiana This just makes me sick. Unless it was so life threating that you would both babies that maybe a small reason however I really see there is no excuse. To the woman who says that it was because of fertility. You should have really thought about all that you went through and to get twin out of that you should have been ecstatic. Even though you said its because we were playing god then why do it in the first place. God gave you those two babies and to say no just one and to give up one of his children. WOW how sad. Plus all those others reason are totally uncalled for. If non of you could "HANDLE" two babies then you all do not deserve any of your children. Jun 6, 2013 6:22pm Paule Doss This is just too much. I am a mother of twins, and I can't imagine choosing one over the other. If you made a conscious choice to get pregnant, then deal with whatever you get; twins, autism, cerebral palsy..especially if you used ivf to get pregnant and most especially if you already have children..I'm not a pro-lifer by any means, but terminating just one? Your living twin will never forgive you if they find out. Jun 8, 2013 1:37am Jennifer Fragapane Shroyer · Works at Licensed Esthetician This is horrifying!! I will never understand the complete udder disregard for life!! Just thinking about this brings tears to my eyes!! Jun 8, 2013 8:32am
by Beth On August 14, 2011 at 8:51 pm As for the mom who had said it was acceptable because of the fertility treatment, the odds of an embryo actually implanting are not controlled by a test tube. I am a twin and I can say that I am very happy my mother did not choose to abort either myself or my twin sister. by Judy Goldberg On August 14, 2011 at 10:35 pm I dont think you can judge anyone until youve walked in their shoes. I think all of these reproductive decisions are best left to the person who is reproducing. by Nick Shell On August 15, 2011 at 12:07 am Hi Judy, I agree with you regarding the importance of not judging the persons involved. I hope it was clear that I am not asking anyone to cast stones, but instead to think with an open mind about a tough issue that has some undeniable ethical questions surrounding it. by Jim On August 15, 2011 at 8:24 am This is really disturbing. For a mother to say I already have a boy, so I dont need another. Ill just terminate (or kill) him. I do want the girl though. Ill keep her. Whatever the details of each situation, this line of thinking does not make any sense. by Eryn On August 15, 2011 at 8:59 am I find this disturbing. I had never heard of of the two-minus-one abortion before. I am an identical twin and I couldnt imagine life without my twin sister and best friend. My parents only wanted one child but felt blessed to have two at once. I wouldnt want my life any other way than it is now. What if it had been me who didnt have the chance at life? This is mind-blowing to me. by MLR On August 15, 2011 at 10:39 am There are so many ways these days that we can exercise control over our lives where once we had none. This has become our prerogative, I suppose. Yet by exercising this prerogative it seems that we are robbing ourselves of experiences and opportunities of which our limited minds, in their current states, could not even fathom. How many of us have thought oh I could never and then found ourselves in said situation thinking, I cannot imagine my life without this experience. We do not always know beforehand what is best for ourselves, which is the best part about this wonderful journey called life. We can be both intelligent and open to the experiences of life, without losing our common sense. by Brenda On August 16, 2011 at 2:48 am Ive never been one to believe abortion is right, however, it should be up to the one that has to live with the results. I just know that I couldnt make this kind of decision unless perhaps it was seriously medical and even then it wouldnt be an easy choice to make because I know someone who was told her child would be deformed and mentally retarded that decided against abortion and that child turned out normal. My daughter had twins and it was a very difficult risky pregnancy. The boy born first had medical issues needed a trach and GI tube. The girl was fine. The boy died at seven months. We wouldnt trade those seven months for nothing in the world and would do it over again and again if we had to. He was a wonderful happy baby through it all, and yes he did suffer some, but he had the chance too to live for a time as we believe God intended. So its really a matter of choice that depends on who you are, how you were raised and what you believe. by JM On August 16, 2011 at 7:12 am Most of the reasons given are financial or emotional, not medical or concerning the pregnancy itself. If that is the case,why not give one child away for adoption, especially with so many families experiencing infertility? My brother is adopted, and I am so glad his bio mother chose to carry him to term. by Theresa On August 16, 2011 at 7:55 am All I can say is what a shame. My daughter has lost 2 babies one at the 13th week and one at the 6th. She would have given anything to have these aborted babies anything. This is a shame and we wonder why our world is going in the direct it is. This selfishness is one reason why. by Zeek On August 16, 2011 at 8:13 am I had twins. Twins are a high risk pregnancy, and my experience with a multiples pregnacy was just that. My singletons did not send my blood pressure into the stratosphere and cause preterm labor, etc, as twins did. I had to have a c-section a little early to prevent a stroke, and the babies did well. Some women have health conditions that make a singular pregnancy risky, and a multiples pregnancy extremely risky to the babies and to the mother. Do I agree with all abortions? No. But abortion has been a sad truth in human history for centuries. When we ban it, women still get them, but in the case where women seek illegal abortions, all to frequently it is not only a unborn child that dies, it is the mother, who often leaves behind other children who needed her. I can judge her, but it wont change realities we simply cannot change. I think it is sad that we live in a world where we have so many circumstances where a child cannot have a place, but we do. I am sad when people who would be good parents and are financially well set abort, but for the masses that live on welfare and produce offspring that serve only to bolster our prison populations and up our crime rate, I think we should sterilize them and offer free abortions as a back up. It seems the trash reproduces like rabbits, while the cream of the crop is stingy with progeny. It should be the other way around. by E.E.M On August 16, 2011 at 8:45 am I cannot imagine doing this. I had an unplanned pregnacy at 18 and gave birth to a beatiful baby girl and became a single mother. Not easy, but I love my daughter. I had a second unplanned pregnancy at 30 and again delivered a beautiful baby girl. I am blessed. I am very against abortion for myself, I could never have one, no matter the situation. I cant believe that people think its ok to pick and choose which children to have. It sickes me. We dont know what beautiful minds we are destroying. Abortions may kill future leaders that would have made huge contributions. I just dont get it and never will. I can imagine aborting a twin just because I could. Unreal. This world has no morals anymore. by AD4 On August 16, 2011 at 8:48 am I find this absolutely disgusting. All I heard from these women that made the choice to abort one of their children is that it was inconvenient for them to have twins. Well some times you really just need to suck it up and deal with what gets thrown in your lap. I am 26 years old with 4 kids. I had my first when I was 19, I had my second when I was 20, and I had my twins when I was 23. I never once thought of taking the easy way out. I love every single one of my kids and would not change a single thing. I am not suggesting that these women do not love their children but how can you even start to make a decision like this. I understand that there are circumstances when there is a medically sound reason that the pregnancy may need to be terminated but to abort a child just on the fact that it would be to much work or they already had a boy so they dont want another one. Give me a break this is a human, a little defenseless life that cant scream I want to live. Since when did it become alright and socially accepted to baby shop? I just dont understand how some one could pick and choose which baby they want like they were at the store deciding what brand of bread to buy!? Yes I had some mild panic and my twin pregnancy did not go the greatest but I have survived and so have they. Each day is a new beginning and sometimes we all need a challenge. by Tracie On August 17, 2011 at 1:35 am Alls I can say is WOW. This is horrible. I had my first kid when I was 18 and my second when i was 20. I wouldnt change it for the world. They brighten my life everyday. I personally dont believe in abortions, but this is taking it to far. If you cant handle more kids get your tubes tied, close your legs and last but not least ADOPTION. They also do closed adoptions where you have no contact with the child. This is very selfish and wrong. There is nothing mature about this, if you want a mature conversation, make a mature choice. Aborting a kid because you already have a boy or girl is not mature, its a disgrace to the human race. by Sirena On August 17, 2011 at 2:23 am Wow! What a shocking report. I think twins have a special bond and when its broken either naturally or not it effects those souls left on their own. I am not a twin and dont know from personal experience but I do know twins and they all feel this way! Imagine what it would be like to share the womb with someone else. For the woman who used fertility drugs to rationalize her choice by thinking the conception was unnatural is puzzling to me. Different yes, but unnatural to have a baby- I dont agree! Usually people faced with having to take this route are well aware their chances of multiples are High! Many poor woman dont ever get to even have a successful IVF after multiple attempts, they never get to see what that lil baby or babies looks like on the US monitor! Every woman deserves their choice but choices made based on the babies sex is inhumane! by betty anderson On August 17, 2011 at 6:30 am I hope that the mothers will be prepared for the emotional backlash when their child finds out that they murdered a twin. Personally I would never forgive my mother, there is always adoption, people willing to pay all expenses just to be able to have a child. It is time for people to accept responsibility for their actions, this is very disturbing. by Ana On August 17, 2011 at 7:02 am My mother would have loved to have twins. However, she miscarried my fraternal twin during her second trimester. My entire life Ive felt that loss, that something important was missing from my life. Being a twin is a rare and precious thing: it seems selfish to deny your children the richness of that experience. One I would have given anything to have. by Kasey On August 18, 2011 at 8:37 am This is completely unacceptable. These women are destroying a human life because that life inconveniences them. What a horrible shame. These women are selfish, thinking only of themselves. If they didnt want to have the babies they shouldnt have had the fertility treatments, I am certain that was explained to them. Some of these women have committed gendercide choosing to abort based on gender. When I was 18 I had an unplanned pregnancy, but when I found out I was pregnant, it was not an unwanted one. I ended up placing her for adoption after having a very difficult pregnancy with toxemia and nearly having a stroke. I have no regrets about it. There are alternatives to taking a life, you can give that life to a family who is struggling with fertility. by Lydia On August 19, 2011 at 5:23 am I find this disturbing. Like Betty said, those that lived will feel the loss of their twin, perhaps better to follow shamelessness with another lie of ommission just never tell them huh? Sorry if anyone finds this too harsh but really what are these people thinking? I wonder how any will feel if they lose the one they chose to keep through death in infancy, it is a cruel possibility. I guess they will just go manufacture another by Lydia On August 19, 2011 at 5:25 am In fact, while I am at it why even try to be better than animals? Why not just eat the one you dont want? by Howard On August 19, 2011 at 8:00 am For someone who doesnt want to cast stones you certainly painted a very biased picture. As someone with a close family member who works in the medical field performing these procedures I know that the VAST majority are done for medical reasons not for any of the reasons given in your article. Most of the aborted fetuses have serious medical issues i.e. missing a brain, missing a head, missing lungs, that would not allow the child to survive. Other reasons are that one twin is destroying the other twin as they develop in the womb. Next time you want to not cast stones dont write such an obviously biased article. It is articles like this, and people like you that cause a lot of pain to others. by unknown On August 19, 2011 at 8:33 am so shes saying the baby is just an artificial matter by Unbiased .... On August 19, 2011 at 9:00 am Howard, right on! You are correct in pointing out how slanted this article is, and the author using only the trivial responses for examples of why they aborted. Yes, of course, doing it out of ease is a lame excuse, but believe me, there are many medical reasons. The persons that choose do reduce the pregnancy will definitely feel the loss forever, as will the twin possibly?? One will never know, that is the sad part. And pro-choice has NOTHING to do with this article. This is pro-SELF, all about convenience and whats best for ME. - - - Updated - - - by Bryan On August 19, 2011 at 11:38 am I do not really see any ethical or moral issue here. Any abortion up until approximately the 22 week is really no more immoral or unethical than plucking a carrot from the ground. For the fetus, there is no experience (qualia) of pain, or pleasure, or desire, or joy that is possible before that 22nd week. So there is nothing especially human about the fetus (if it cannot experience pain or joy or any of the above). I believe it was Richard Carrier who pointed out that without a fully formed cerebral cortex, none of the above sensations are possible. It would also then be true that there is no way for the fetus to form a personality. And it is that personality which we seem to value most as what makes us human. So, if it is not possible to form personality then it is not proper to call the fetus fully human. It is merely a collection of cells. Technically alive, but not human. So there is no moral or ethical basis for seeing a choice to abort one or both (or more in the case of triplets and above) fetuses as wrong. It is a non issue. by Lumi Karu On August 20, 2011 at 10:25 am The woman quoted in the article said it well, when conceiving/having a baby is a consumer choice, then why not use all your options? If people accept legal abortion of one child for any reason, how is this terribly different? I guess is just makes it seem egregiously wrong even to the “pro-choice” crowd. You are softening it to call it a “half-abortion”, it really is just abortion. In addition to the 53 million already permormed in the U.S. since RVW. This is why a certain group rejects abortion, IVF, etc. Because it doesn’t respect human life and it is all “playing God”. by Catherine On August 20, 2011 at 12:04 pm This is by far, the most heart break thing I’ve ever read. I have twin brothers, they are a different kid without the other. by Rachel On August 20, 2011 at 12:25 pm My twin died 11 hours after our birth, and I felt his loss even before I knew I was a twin. Unless there is a life and death medical issue, I find it unfathomable to try to understand how a parent could do this to his or her child. by brigitte On August 20, 2011 at 1:15 pm What shocks me is the medical centres doing these types of abortions aside from extreme medical grounds-like one twin has already died and controlled removal maintains the remaining one. Normal women are devastated if that happens. These partial abortions are doomed choices from immature selfish women.They fail to recognise that getting pregnant means you should know you have surrendered to an unknown outcome for their own body and that with each child. You could need to be making ongoing adaptations at any time or at any level. These mindless callous women will later pay a hefty price. Partners seeing the reality of their remaining baby will leave revolted by the reminder of a sick woman’s sick choice, any disability arising with remaining child rub in their “wrong kid ” kept choice. Kid ends up accident prone(result of having a cold insightless insightless parent)permanently brain damaged injured and dependant. Kid finds out about twin extermination and has ongoing contempt for the parent. The stupid though not calous woman later keeps being haunted by the constant reminder of what the other executed child should be growing to, even impairing her connecting to the remaining one. The remaining child procludes resolving issues that a singleton abortion can bring. Add other relatives, the grandparents, aunts and uncles, always reminded of there ought to be two not one and the remaining child growing up perplexed by a background of mourning when visited. This practice will probably diminish when one of the families hit such unanticipated anguish suing the clinic for psychological damages they will feel they were not properly informed on. It can take over a year for the justified denial to erode and will in many of these types of abortions. by SEM On August 20, 2011 at 8:48 pm Just another step toward genetic engineering. by Twin2 On August 20, 2011 at 9:17 pm I am a 38 yr old twin. I still feel when my twin is feeling bad, hurt, sad, or otherwise. And we live in two different countries with a ocean inbetween. I think this is a horrible precident to set. I find it one step closer to shopping for babies. I understand not all of these proceedures are for non-medical reasons. I don’t have a problem with medically founded reasons, but it also makes me wonder how long before we choose one set of grandparents to let live over another. Soylent Green anyone. I do think it’s an issue that is declining our countries moral and ethical standing. by Jen On August 20, 2011 at 10:47 pm What a bunch of BS. I think this entire story is the product of the writers imagination and everyone who believed it without questioning it is foolish. by Les On August 20, 2011 at 11:57 pm I don’t judge any woman who chooses to have an abortion, I personally would not ever have one, but this circumstance does seen a little vain. I understand that there are serious issues to abort babies, but that is not the topic of this article. This article is about those who do want a baby, just not two. I think adoption should always be an option… by Sarah On August 21, 2011 at 1:41 am I’m not against abortion at all, I think that it can often be the best decision for everyone involved, but it sort of seems like, if there are no health implications involved, if you are going to have one baby you most as well have two? You would constantly have the non-aborted child around reminding you what the aborted one would look like. I also find twins quite magical, and how would you choose which one to abort? And what if the non aborted one found out and was heart broken? What if you accidentally aborted the best one? (joke) It seems like a much more complicated situation than aborting one baby. It would be a very hard decision to make. by M. Fields On August 21, 2011 at 5:40 am My experience was this: I had a child, and was on welfare. I had just received acceptance into college when I found out I was pregnant. I never thought I would have to make a decision like this – to better my current family’s situation, or just continue on and let things fall where they may. I chose the abortion, for better or for worse, and I can now take care of my family and be a productive member of society. For all you pro-lifers – don’t worry, I go through my own personal hell just about every day; if it had been born, it would be 7 years old this March. by Lisa On August 21, 2011 at 1:54 pm I had twins almost 8 years ago and one of my daughters was silently born. I was devastated. How do you have “one twin”? My husband and I were so excited to have our two little girls, not just one, to add to our boy and girl we already had. It still hurts so much to not have Olivia here. Anna is going into second grade on September 1st and I’ll cry knowing that she’s heading to her classroom by herself. I just can’t even imagine willingly aborting a baby. The cruelest thing someone said to me after losing Olivia was my own mother. She said, “well, maybe there would have been something wrong with Olivia”. As if having a disabled child would make me love her any less by Nick Shell On August 21, 2011 at 2:12 pm Lisa, thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry to hear about what you’ve had to go through. And good point about the phrase, “one twin.” by Ally On August 23, 2011 at 7:23 am I am an idential twin – conceived naturally and born healthy. And I am not against abortion – I may like want one myself or like the choices of others – but they are just that – the choices of others. HOWEVER, while I can see the desire to reduce risk to mother, mother’s career, her own thoughts of parenting two children and I don’t take offense to the choices for those moms — waiting until the sex of the children is known before aborting… now THAT is ridiculous. That sounds like a bad science fiction movie about picking and choosing your children. Especially if you got twins by invetro and therefore you know almost immediately that you are having twins but you wait to find out the sex first. That just doesn’t sit well with me. by Ilove Karma On August 24, 2011 at 2:57 am The Half Abortion is still an Abortion and to try to justify it is disgusting. Any doctor that would end the life of a child simply because “mom” doesnt want more than one has a lot of answering to do when he/she meets their maker…as well as “mom” and any woman who would do such a thing doesnt deserve to be called a mother. This is murder and it is not justifiable no matter what the circumstances….poverty, give it up for adoption, dont want more than one, use birth control until your ready for any…two children will interfere with your education/career…how selfish…another sin….This is infuriating…nobody plays God but God and if he blesses you with twins…you dont take one away…just because…. by K On August 24, 2011 at 3:15 am Disgusting. Completely disgusting. I went and read the new york times article. I literally felt like throwing up. In a lot of the pregnancies it talks about how the doctor just randomly chooses since both babies are healthy and the same sex. Or they pick whichever baby is “easiest to reach”. These are people who have no business having kids in the first place. Abortion is murder. Killing one kid because it’s just inconvenient and you only wanted one is worse. And for the lady who said she chose to reduce because she was 45 and not financially secure. Uhm, you’re not financially secure and you fill it is a risk because of your age… but you have spent how much on fertility treatments? and you are still having a baby. Most people who are “financially insecure” can’t afford fertility treatments… Sounds like a lame and flimsy excuse to me. Why not just wait till the kids are born and then kill one? same thing, right? only difference is they are outside of the body. Then you can see which one you “like” better. You know, take them for a test drive like a car. (That is sarcasm.) I hope these people are tormented every day by the fact that they just killed a perfectly healthy baby because they only wanted one and were “inconvenienced” by two… Most people consider getting two when they only tried for one a blessing, by the way. by Peggy On August 24, 2011 at 3:21 am [MENTION=67065]Jen[/MENTION]–This blogger is writing based on an article in the NYT. I read the article last week and could not believe the reasons given for the “partial abortions.” According to the article, many doctors refuse to do reductions from twins to singleton pregnancy. The technology has been available for years, and is often offered to mothers who are pregnant with “high order multiples.” It is called pregnancy reduction. @ Unbiased–The reasons that are quoted are accurate, as reported in the NYT. The fact that one finds them “trivial” just underscores the ethical and moral issues with the “partial” abortion. Personally–call it “partial” if you want–it is still a full abortion of an otherwise healthy fetus/ending a normal twin pregnancy. There were NO reasons given in the NYT article that stated the twin was aborted because of congenital defects or for the health of the mother, but entirely for convenience. Several mothers let the doctor decide which twin to abort so that they would not have that decision on their conscience. The fact that they did not want to make that decision again shows the moral ambiguity of the whole decision. by Kat On August 25, 2011 at 6:09 am in my case.. I was offered by the doctor the choice to “selectively reduce” my twin pregnancy as one of my twins was supposedly going to be born with Down’s syndrome. I respectfully declined. Doctor was stunned..why would you burden yourself with a less than perfect child I was asked? I cannot write my response to the doctor here but it wasn’t nice.. And went on to give birth to two beautiful healthy twins. When I asked that same doctor to “tie my tubes” as I was preparing to have the twins, he refused. The twins were #3 and 4 for me so I didn’t want more kids. Apparently I had not signed some form.. So I was offered a selective abortion for a supposedly less than perfect child but when I tried to prevent myself from having the ability to have more children I was refused… go figure by Nick Shell On August 25, 2011 at 6:58 pm Thanks for sharing, Kat. I love stories like this! by Amber On August 26, 2011 at 9:54 am Honestly, I find it sad that someone wouldn’t want to have twins. I am an only child and growing up I’d pretend i had a twin sister. But at the same time, most of the reasons the mothers had were acceptable. Especially the one about the father in Iraq. Or the one about the financially insecure. Would you, as a parent, rather have 1 child who was very happy, or 2 children who were not as happy? by Karen On August 26, 2011 at 10:35 am What distrubs me is none of the reasons had to do with health concerns. I could understand the worry over a risk to you or the child, choosing to give te strongest a better chance. But the other reasons lead you to wonder why they are bothering to have the one child at all. One might be easier, but no child is going to be a walk in the park. If you don’t understand that from the start – maybe you shouldn’t have kids at all. Also, I wonder what this does to the child that is born to know their twin wasn’t wanted. If you did decide to do this, I hope you never tell your surviving child.
by Beth On August 14, 2011 at 8:51 pm As for the mom who had said it was acceptable because of the fertility treatment, the odds of an embryo actually implanting are not controlled by a test tube. I am a twin and I can say that I am very happy my mother did not choose to abort either myself or my twin sister. by Judy Goldberg On August 14, 2011 at 10:35 pm I dont think you can judge anyone until youve walked in their shoes. I think all of these reproductive decisions are best left to the person who is reproducing. by Nick Shell On August 15, 2011 at 12:07 am Hi Judy, I agree with you regarding the importance of not judging the persons involved. I hope it was clear that I am not asking anyone to cast stones, but instead to think with an open mind about a tough issue that has some undeniable ethical questions surrounding it. by Jim On August 15, 2011 at 8:24 am This is really disturbing. For a mother to say I already have a boy, so I dont need another. Ill just terminate (or kill) him. I do want the girl though. Ill keep her. Whatever the details of each situation, this line of thinking does not make any sense. by Eryn On August 15, 2011 at 8:59 am I find this disturbing. I had never heard of of the two-minus-one abortion before. I am an identical twin and I couldnt imagine life without my twin sister and best friend. My parents only wanted one child but felt blessed to have two at once. I wouldnt want my life any other way than it is now. What if it had been me who didnt have the chance at life? This is mind-blowing to me. by MLR On August 15, 2011 at 10:39 am There are so many ways these days that we can exercise control over our lives where once we had none. This has become our prerogative, I suppose. Yet by exercising this prerogative it seems that we are robbing ourselves of experiences and opportunities of which our limited minds, in their current states, could not even fathom. How many of us have thought oh I could never and then found ourselves in said situation thinking, I cannot imagine my life without this experience. We do not always know beforehand what is best for ourselves, which is the best part about this wonderful journey called life. We can be both intelligent and open to the experiences of life, without losing our common sense. by Brenda On August 16, 2011 at 2:48 am Ive never been one to believe abortion is right, however, it should be up to the one that has to live with the results. I just know that I couldnt make this kind of decision unless perhaps it was seriously medical and even then it wouldnt be an easy choice to make because I know someone who was told her child would be deformed and mentally retarded that decided against abortion and that child turned out normal. My daughter had twins and it was a very difficult risky pregnancy. The boy born first had medical issues needed a trach and GI tube. The girl was fine. The boy died at seven months. We wouldnt trade those seven months for nothing in the world and would do it over again and again if we had to. He was a wonderful happy baby through it all, and yes he did suffer some, but he had the chance too to live for a time as we believe God intended. So its really a matter of choice that depends on who you are, how you were raised and what you believe. by JM On August 16, 2011 at 7:12 am Most of the reasons given are financial or emotional, not medical or concerning the pregnancy itself. If that is the case,why not give one child away for adoption, especially with so many families experiencing infertility? My brother is adopted, and I am so glad his bio mother chose to carry him to term. by Theresa On August 16, 2011 at 7:55 am All I can say is what a shame. My daughter has lost 2 babies one at the 13th week and one at the 6th. She would have given anything to have these aborted babies anything. This is a shame and we wonder why our world is going in the direct it is. This selfishness is one reason why. by Zeek On August 16, 2011 at 8:13 am I had twins. Twins are a high risk pregnancy, and my experience with a multiples pregnacy was just that. My singletons did not send my blood pressure into the stratosphere and cause preterm labor, etc, as twins did. I had to have a c-section a little early to prevent a stroke, and the babies did well. Some women have health conditions that make a singular pregnancy risky, and a multiples pregnancy extremely risky to the babies and to the mother. Do I agree with all abortions? No. But abortion has been a sad truth in human history for centuries. When we ban it, women still get them, but in the case where women seek illegal abortions, all to frequently it is not only a unborn child that dies, it is the mother, who often leaves behind other children who needed her. I can judge her, but it wont change realities we simply cannot change. I think it is sad that we live in a world where we have so many circumstances where a child cannot have a place, but we do. I am sad when people who would be good parents and are financially well set abort, but for the masses that live on welfare and produce offspring that serve only to bolster our prison populations and up our crime rate, I think we should sterilize them and offer free abortions as a back up. It seems the trash reproduces like rabbits, while the cream of the crop is stingy with progeny. It should be the other way around. by E.E.M On August 16, 2011 at 8:45 am I cannot imagine doing this. I had an unplanned pregnacy at 18 and gave birth to a beatiful baby girl and became a single mother. Not easy, but I love my daughter. I had a second unplanned pregnancy at 30 and again delivered a beautiful baby girl. I am blessed. I am very against abortion for myself, I could never have one, no matter the situation. I cant believe that people think its ok to pick and choose which children to have. It sickes me. We dont know what beautiful minds we are destroying. Abortions may kill future leaders that would have made huge contributions. I just dont get it and never will. I can imagine aborting a twin just because I could. Unreal. This world has no morals anymore. by AD4 On August 16, 2011 at 8:48 am I find this absolutely disgusting. All I heard from these women that made the choice to abort one of their children is that it was inconvenient for them to have twins. Well some times you really just need to suck it up and deal with what gets thrown in your lap. I am 26 years old with 4 kids. I had my first when I was 19, I had my second when I was 20, and I had my twins when I was 23. I never once thought of taking the easy way out. I love every single one of my kids and would not change a single thing. I am not suggesting that these women do not love their children but how can you even start to make a decision like this. I understand that there are circumstances when there is a medically sound reason that the pregnancy may need to be terminated but to abort a child just on the fact that it would be to much work or they already had a boy so they dont want another one. Give me a break this is a human, a little defenseless life that cant scream I want to live. Since when did it become alright and socially accepted to baby shop? I just dont understand how some one could pick and choose which baby they want like they were at the store deciding what brand of bread to buy!? Yes I had some mild panic and my twin pregnancy did not go the greatest but I have survived and so have they. Each day is a new beginning and sometimes we all need a challenge. by Tracie On August 17, 2011 at 1:35 am Alls I can say is WOW. This is horrible. I had my first kid when I was 18 and my second when i was 20. I wouldnt change it for the world. They brighten my life everyday. I personally dont believe in abortions, but this is taking it to far. If you cant handle more kids get your tubes tied, close your legs and last but not least ADOPTION. They also do closed adoptions where you have no contact with the child. This is very selfish and wrong. There is nothing mature about this, if you want a mature conversation, make a mature choice. Aborting a kid because you already have a boy or girl is not mature, its a disgrace to the human race. by Sirena On August 17, 2011 at 2:23 am Wow! What a shocking report. I think twins have a special bond and when its broken either naturally or not it effects those souls left on their own. I am not a twin and dont know from personal experience but I do know twins and they all feel this way! Imagine what it would be like to share the womb with someone else. For the woman who used fertility drugs to rationalize her choice by thinking the conception was unnatural is puzzling to me. Different yes, but unnatural to have a baby- I dont agree! Usually people faced with having to take this route are well aware their chances of multiples are High! Many poor woman dont ever get to even have a successful IVF after multiple attempts, they never get to see what that lil baby or babies looks like on the US monitor! Every woman deserves their choice but choices made based on the babies sex is inhumane! by betty anderson On August 17, 2011 at 6:30 am I hope that the mothers will be prepared for the emotional backlash when their child finds out that they murdered a twin. Personally I would never forgive my mother, there is always adoption, people willing to pay all expenses just to be able to have a child. It is time for people to accept responsibility for their actions, this is very disturbing. by Ana On August 17, 2011 at 7:02 am My mother would have loved to have twins. However, she miscarried my fraternal twin during her second trimester. My entire life Ive felt that loss, that something important was missing from my life. Being a twin is a rare and precious thing: it seems selfish to deny your children the richness of that experience. One I would have given anything to have. by Kasey On August 18, 2011 at 8:37 am This is completely unacceptable. These women are destroying a human life because that life inconveniences them. What a horrible shame. These women are selfish, thinking only of themselves. If they didnt want to have the babies they shouldnt have had the fertility treatments, I am certain that was explained to them. Some of these women have committed gendercide choosing to abort based on gender. When I was 18 I had an unplanned pregnancy, but when I found out I was pregnant, it was not an unwanted one. I ended up placing her for adoption after having a very difficult pregnancy with toxemia and nearly having a stroke. I have no regrets about it. There are alternatives to taking a life, you can give that life to a family who is struggling with fertility. by Lydia On August 19, 2011 at 5:23 am I find this disturbing. Like Betty said, those that lived will feel the loss of their twin, perhaps better to follow shamelessness with another lie of ommission just never tell them huh? Sorry if anyone finds this too harsh but really what are these people thinking? I wonder how any will feel if they lose the one they chose to keep through death in infancy, it is a cruel possibility. I guess they will just go manufacture another by Lydia On August 19, 2011 at 5:25 am In fact, while I am at it why even try to be better than animals? Why not just eat the one you dont want? by Howard On August 19, 2011 at 8:00 am For someone who doesnt want to cast stones you certainly painted a very biased picture. As someone with a close family member who works in the medical field performing these procedures I know that the VAST majority are done for medical reasons not for any of the reasons given in your article. Most of the aborted fetuses have serious medical issues i.e. missing a brain, missing a head, missing lungs, that would not allow the child to survive. Other reasons are that one twin is destroying the other twin as they develop in the womb. Next time you want to not cast stones dont write such an obviously biased article. It is articles like this, and people like you that cause a lot of pain to others. by unknown On August 19, 2011 at 8:33 am so shes saying the baby is just an artificial matter by Unbiased .... On August 19, 2011 at 9:00 am Howard, right on! You are correct in pointing out how slanted this article is, and the author using only the trivial responses for examples of why they aborted. Yes, of course, doing it out of ease is a lame excuse, but believe me, there are many medical reasons. The persons that choose do reduce the pregnancy will definitely feel the loss forever, as will the twin possibly?? One will never know, that is the sad part. And pro-choice has NOTHING to do with this article. This is pro-SELF, all about convenience and whats best for ME. - - - Updated - - - by Bryan On August 19, 2011 at 11:38 am I do not really see any ethical or moral issue here. Any abortion up until approximately the 22 week is really no more immoral or unethical than plucking a carrot from the ground. For the fetus, there is no experience (qualia) of pain, or pleasure, or desire, or joy that is possible before that 22nd week. So there is nothing especially human about the fetus (if it cannot experience pain or joy or any of the above). I believe it was Richard Carrier who pointed out that without a fully formed cerebral cortex, none of the above sensations are possible. It would also then be true that there is no way for the fetus to form a personality. And it is that personality which we seem to value most as what makes us human. So, if it is not possible to form personality then it is not proper to call the fetus fully human. It is merely a collection of cells. Technically alive, but not human. So there is no moral or ethical basis for seeing a choice to abort one or both (or more in the case of triplets and above) fetuses as wrong. It is a non issue. by Lumi Karu On August 20, 2011 at 10:25 am The woman quoted in the article said it well, when conceiving/having a baby is a consumer choice, then why not use all your options? If people accept legal abortion of one child for any reason, how is this terribly different? I guess is just makes it seem egregiously wrong even to the pro-choice crowd. You are softening it to call it a half-abortion, it really is just abortion. In addition to the 53 million already permormed in the U.S. since RVW. This is why a certain group rejects abortion, IVF, etc. Because it doesnt respect human life and it is all playing God. by Catherine On August 20, 2011 at 12:04 pm This is by far, the most heart break thing Ive ever read. I have twin brothers, they are a different kid without the other. by Rachel On August 20, 2011 at 12:25 pm My twin died 11 hours after our birth, and I felt his loss even before I knew I was a twin. Unless there is a life and death medical issue, I find it unfathomable to try to understand how a parent could do this to his or her child. by brigitte On August 20, 2011 at 1:15 pm What shocks me is the medical centres doing these types of abortions aside from extreme medical grounds-like one twin has already died and controlled removal maintains the remaining one. Normal women are devastated if that happens. These partial abortions are doomed choices from immature selfish women.They fail to recognise that getting pregnant means you should know you have surrendered to an unknown outcome for their own body and that with each child. You could need to be making ongoing adaptations at any time or at any level. These mindless callous women will later pay a hefty price. Partners seeing the reality of their remaining baby will leave revolted by the reminder of a sick womans sick choice, any disability arising with remaining child rub in their wrong kid kept choice. Kid ends up accident prone(result of having a cold insightless insightless parent)permanently brain damaged injured and dependant. Kid finds out about twin extermination and has ongoing contempt for the parent. The stupid though not calous woman later keeps being haunted by the constant reminder of what the other executed child should be growing to, even impairing her connecting to the remaining one. The remaining child procludes resolving issues that a singleton abortion can bring. Add other relatives, the grandparents, aunts and uncles, always reminded of there ought to be two not one and the remaining child growing up perplexed by a background of mourning when visited. This practice will probably diminish when one of the families hit such unanticipated anguish suing the clinic for psychological damages they will feel they were not properly informed on. It can take over a year for the justified denial to erode and will in many of these types of abortions. by SEM On August 20, 2011 at 8:48 pm Just another step toward genetic engineering. by Twin2 On August 20, 2011 at 9:17 pm I am a 38 yr old twin. I still feel when my twin is feeling bad, hurt, sad, or otherwise. And we live in two different countries with a ocean inbetween. I think this is a horrible precident to set. I find it one step closer to shopping for babies. I understand not all of these proceedures are for non-medical reasons. I dont have a problem with medically founded reasons, but it also makes me wonder how long before we choose one set of grandparents to let live over another. Soylent Green anyone. I do think its an issue that is declining our countries moral and ethical standing. by Jen On August 20, 2011 at 10:47 pm What a bunch of BS. I think this entire story is the product of the writers imagination and everyone who believed it without questioning it is foolish. by Les On August 20, 2011 at 11:57 pm I dont judge any woman who chooses to have an abortion, I personally would not ever have one, but this circumstance does seen a little vain. I understand that there are serious issues to abort babies, but that is not the topic of this article. This article is about those who do want a baby, just not two. I think adoption should always be an option by Sarah On August 21, 2011 at 1:41 am Im not against abortion at all, I think that it can often be the best decision for everyone involved, but it sort of seems like, if there are no health implications involved, if you are going to have one baby you most as well have two? You would constantly have the non-aborted child around reminding you what the aborted one would look like. I also find twins quite magical, and how would you choose which one to abort? And what if the non aborted one found out and was heart broken? What if you accidentally aborted the best one? (joke) It seems like a much more complicated situation than aborting one baby. It would be a very hard decision to make. by M. Fields On August 21, 2011 at 5:40 am My experience was this: I had a child, and was on welfare. I had just received acceptance into college when I found out I was pregnant. I never thought I would have to make a decision like this to better my current familys situation, or just continue on and let things fall where they may. I chose the abortion, for better or for worse, and I can now take care of my family and be a productive member of society. For all you pro-lifers dont worry, I go through my own personal hell just about every day; if it had been born, it would be 7 years old this March.
by Tressa On August 27, 2011 at 9:15 am No medical excuses is what bothers me too. I mean in the health and safety of the mother and other twin is one thing. I’m not saying that would cause me do make that decision. I would probably opt to take my chances and attempt to have both twins. I had twins while I was living over 1,000 miles away from my family and friends while I was a sophomore in college. I made up my mind that my education was what was going to get my kids and I to a better life and I didn’t allow having them to slow me down. I stayed in school, achieved a 4.0 gpa and went on to become a very successful teacher and mother. Making a decision like the ones the mothers in this story are making are purely selfish. Sure kids are hard work but I can honestly say that 12 years after their birth, and LOTS of hard work and sacrifice on my part, I have no regrets. I’m not so sure anyone who has had a abortion feels the same. by Praveena On August 29, 2011 at 7:57 am Aborting a healthy baby who is fit and eligible to live on this earth is not fair whatsoever the reason be. I’m a twin and I’m so much bonded to my twin sister than anyone else on earth. The bonding of twins takes place right from the womb. It’s a pleasure to be born as twins, to be accompanied by a soulmate right from formation in the womb. by Nabilah On August 30, 2011 at 7:06 am I found that all of the ‘excuses’ or ‘reasons’ given were repugnant and/or baseless excuses. I feel fine with judging. It is just plain wrong to do this. BTW, I am a twin,my parents spent my entire childhood struggling to support us (and eventually my little sister). Which one of us was disposable? I’m glad I didn’t have to grow up knowing that my mom and dad decided to kill one of us to make life easier for them or the surviving children. Our lives would not have been significantly easier, better or more well provided for if one of us or even two of the children were missing. And our lives would be significantly less if we did not each individual child in our family. by Rachel On August 30, 2011 at 9:07 am Beginning with the fertility treatments is slightly playing god to begin with. I find that people who take fertility treatments are usually more accepting of a abortion option. When you start fertility treatments your counciled on the risk of multiples in your pregnancy, if this was not acceptable why proceed? There are few medical reasons to have an abortion. It is far more likely a woman aborting the child for selfish reasons and not anything to do with their or their childs health. I have known atleast 3 women who have used abortion as birth control haveing 2 or 3 abortions each. Just appauling! by jackie On August 30, 2011 at 5:02 pm Three women you know have used abortion for birth control? And your statement that it is more likely that women choose reduction for selfish reasons more likely than health reasons is based upon what? Where did all you LW’s come from? Find me the women described in this article – bet you can’t do it. I don’t even think they exist. The writer just blogged about a topic that he thought would get people to comment and did it in such a biased way as to make people who don’t question things think he was talking something that happens all the time. If it happened once, I might believe it, but I highly doubt that any doctor is going to do an abortion for the reasons cited, not to mention several of them. by Joseph On August 31, 2011 at 2:38 am The article refers to this as “half an abortion”. This is offensive and an outright lie. It is totally an abortion, period. They are not aborting 1/2 a baby. by Anne On August 31, 2011 at 5:28 am This is one of the saddest things that I have ever heard of. If you don’t want to raise twins, then have them both and put one up for adoption. by Leann On August 31, 2011 at 6:10 am I’m pro-choice, though I am AGAINST partial birth abortion. The type of abortion described here is sick and perverse! by Louisiana On August 31, 2011 at 7:03 am I understand both sides of the issue; a mother not being able to provide for the additional child and the moral side of the matter, but Right or Wrong, its not our place to pass judgement. None of us or angels/Saints and all of us had made choices that may not have been right for everyone, but was right for us, so who are we to say a women should not have this done. God will be the one to pass judment, if he so chooses. by Nicole On August 31, 2011 at 12:03 pm When I was young(about 10years ago) and unable to be a good mother I made a very hard choice to terminate a pregnancy. It was hardest thing I have ever done. I do not regret my choice but I do think about it all the time. Now more then ever. I am the proud mother of an almost two year old daughter. She is amazing.That being said, as a mother now I could never make the same choice I made 10 years ago. No matter what the reasoning behind it is. I could never end the excistance of a child that will be just as amazing as my daughter is. I love her and would love any other child i may have as much. I know another child right now may be a bit much, so I am on birth controll. I also know that twins run in both my husbands and my familys. It is something we have thought about. We are willing to take that risk in the future and will love all possible children to come.Just because you want one more does not mean that that is what you will get. Remember this when planning for children.
by Tiffany On September 1, 2011 at 9:03 am I work at a large local hospital that typically handles high-risk pregnancies. I can’t tell you how many women I work with everyday that have used in vitro or some other fertility treatment to get pregnant, end up pregnant with multiples (usually 2-3), and then choose to “selectively reduce” the pregnancy to 1-2 babies. For you who don’t believe it happens, it happens all the time. As much as it breaks my heart and I struggle to understand it still–why would I work so hard to get pregnant, spending thousands of dollars out of my own pocket only to decide to then “selectively reduce” the number of babies I was carrying–I have yet to work with one of these moms and have her NOT express some kind of regret or at least mixed feelings about having decided to kill one of her own children. I think it hits them after they see the living child/children, and they suddenly realize what they did to the other baby. Very, very sad. by Nick Shell On September 1, 2011 at 6:27 pm Tiffany, thank you so much for legitimizing my article. I truly appreciate you taking the time to comment and contribute this valuable information. by Anne On September 1, 2011 at 9:55 pm I work in a high-risk ob-gyn office in NYC (not too many bigger cities out there) and I can tell you that the reasons given for reducing multiples in this article would never pass muster with any of the doctors in our office and we treat nothing but these types of cases. The writer took an article about 4 or 5 ridiculous women and made it sound like this type of procedure is done everyday. Tiffany doesn’t say why those women chose to “reduce” but I’m willing to bet it’s because the doctor’s feel that keeping all of the embryos would pose a risk to the mother’s health or the health of the babies. If she wants me to believe that she witnesses reductions for reasons as stated in this article everyday I would say she is lying. Please tell me what hospital you work at so those people who are so adament that this happens “all the time” can actually do something and go protest in front of it. And if it “breaks your heart” so much – why do you stay there? The medical field is in high demand – I’m sure you could find a job someplace where women aren’t killing babies because they don’t want to deal with twins. by Anne On September 4, 2011 at 1:27 am Choice = Just the right sex please; Just when I want ‘it’ please; Just the right egg and sperm please; Just if I feel financially secure, emotionally stable, mentally fit, physically ready please. Never mind that life is unpredictable… markets crash, jobs end, hormones rage, mental and emotionally stability vary, relationships change or end, people get sick or die. We live in a culture that tries to make us feel that we are in control of all these things. What if that ‘chosen’ twin, the right one, the proper gender, timing, genetics is less than all you had hoped; not ‘perfectly’ designed after all… autistic maybe, has medical challenges later in life, or is just a nasty brat. How bout we choose a post birth abortion? How much pressure is put on a kid that was designed to the parents specifications and for their convenience and pleasure. Is it ok (read pc)to call anything evil anymore? by Pat On September 4, 2011 at 12:23 pm I wonder if the surviving twin will someday have to deal with some sort of primal memory and loss. by bruce On September 4, 2011 at 1:40 pm Ghastly. This is where ‘pro abortion’ takes you. I want the baby, because it’s a ‘boy’, or because it has ‘blue eyes’, otherwise kill him/her. A ghastly and wretched choice. If it’s not rape, or the health of the mother, that what is this? By the way, I had kids at 26… and it was hard for years to pay the bills and feed everyone, but now things are better. It’s always hard to have kids… for one reason or another… that’s not a reason to kill someone. Disgusting. by Nicole On September 5, 2011 at 1:30 pm Wow, this is tough. I do not want to judge anyone for their decisions. But my sister and her husband tried unsuccesfully for a baby on their own for years. They had to turn to an egg donor after meeting with a fertility specialist. They will be on their 3rd try this fall. The first 2 times the embroyos did not make it. They are two good Christians who have hearts of gold. And to read this article where people can pick and choose terminating a baby. Just makes you feel sad. They would have loved those babies. by Kara On September 6, 2011 at 8:08 am I’ve never believed in abortion, and this whole concept just reaffirms my beliefs. In this day and age, you do have control over whether you have a child or not, so there’s no need to take such extreme measures. Even in the case of rape, you can take the morning after pill (I know some consider this a form of abortion also). So, there really is no need for abortion. Everybody knows the possible consequences of unprotected sex- you can’t blame it on a lack of education. As far as pro-choice goes, the choice that you should be making is- if you don’t choose to have a baby, then you know that you need to protect yourself by using birth control. It is definitely a choice. And for the miniscule number of children conceived due to birth control failure, there are people in this country who wait for years to adopt a baby. There are people who go outside of this country, because the wait is so long. There is no need for talk of unwanted babies. If you don’t want your baby, I guarantee there is someone else who does. 9 months of possible discomfort is not too much to deal with especially since you already made the choice to accept the possibility of a pregnancy. You can still go to work and school with a big belly. People do it all the time. And yes, even young teenagers know that pregnancy is not caused by kissing. by Lika On December 19, 2012 at 12:19 pm I guess i’ve always been pro-choice.. but this doesn’t quite sit right with me.. i mean if that was me, how could i choose one child over the other? i mean getting rid of a single pregnancy is one thing but to choose between two little babies.. deciding which one is better than the other.. i don’t know this just makes me really uncomfortable and really upset by diana On September 6, 2011 at 9:09 am I would love to hear the Mother try to explain to her child that she killed her twin because she didn’t want two kids at once. by mary On September 10, 2011 at 1:34 am It would be nice if the US didn’t look at unborn children as potted plants – to be tossed if the house is a little crowded. And to those who say not to judge until you’re in their shoes – I call BS. I can think of NO reason to kill a child – born or not. That “don’t judge me” statement is just a way to avoid being responsible for trying to explain WHY – since most of the reasons (as were listed in the article above) are completely selfish.
