Coming out: anti-gay harder than gay?

http://www.christianpost.com/news/lgbt-religious-freedom-conservative-evangelical-business-ryan-anderson-atlantic-summit-152220/#1YWzwX753ymcCAZe.99

This is possibly the dumbest thing I've read so far this week. Not just dumb, but downright offensive.

Stating your political opinion about an issue is NOT harder than living honestly with one's same-sex orientation - something integral to your own identity. Coming out as gay (or being outed as gay) places you in a situation in which you risk the loss of relationships with friends and family, estrangement from your religious community, and being a target of violence - merely for who you are.

I know whence I speak; I've lived it.

Having a negative opinion of homosexuality does not even begin to compare.

 

He's not talking about only having an opinion, he's talking about being anti-gay. Literally being against being gay, including refusing to serve people who happen to be gay in your business.

I am not sure if it is harder to be against other members of your community, than it is to just be that person others are against. But it should be.




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Could be. One appears to be an immutable characteristic, and the other profound ignorance and hatred based on, in the case of the fellow who made the statement, the loving Christian myth.

 

So "being anti-gay" is now an identity, equivalent to having a same-sex orientation?

I don't buy it.

So having both anti-gay opinions and taking anti-gay actions. Still not even close to being comparable to same-sex orientation in any way.

I'm afraid I have to disagree - because I wouldn't wish the things I've had to deal with in my life because of my orientation on anyone - not even people who have the delusion that "being anti-gay" is somehow equivalent.

 

I don't think 'loving Christians' are a myth. I just think there are two different schools of thought in Christianity; those that takes to heart the golden rule, "love thy neighbor as thyself", etc. vs. those who think Christian love means passing judgment on others and trying to control them "for their own good"; (edited to add) those who try to substitute their will for others' free will, or to excuse/disguise it as "God's will". I really cannot abide those who dare to think they are fit as stand-ins for their God.

 

No one is wishing your experiences for another person. The question is what should be easier in a free society — living your own life or working against folks living theirs. *shrug*




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Put that way, I can agree. But I expect we'll end up on the merry-go-round with those who think living their own life means working against other folks trying to live theirs.

 

I don't think that they are a myth either. I think the religion is based on a myth.

 

The one who has to ask his neighbor "are you X?" to live his life... isn't living his life.




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Well, I'd rather not get into that here, as it's not the topic of the thread.

 

Okay. Just noting the objection to homosexuality that this fellow has seems to be rooted in the Christ-myth.

 

That's more like the scenery, not the foundation.

 

Looks like the link went bad.

 

Weird.

Here's the correct link: http://www.christianpost.com/news/l...usiness-ryan-anderson-atlantic-summit-152220/

 

LGBTQ supporters could get hateful and not sell flowers to anti-gays for their anti-gay weddings, but I find that LGBTQ supporter are among the least hateful people around.

 

I disagree with Ryan Anderson. He has not walked a mile in a Gay man's shoes.

 

Gays have much more power, then people who disagree with them.
People who speak against gays lose much more then gays.
Gays also have special benefits from the government, so it is profitable to be gay these days.

 

Then why have a national coming out day? Seems like you are encouraging people to become victims.....

 

On what planet?

 

You're correct. What he's suggesting is LUDICROUS.

 

Context matters. That was said in the context of some person boo-hoo-ing about how terrible life is for anti-gay people. Sorry, I think getting killed because you're gay pretty much trumps that. Ask my murdered friend. Oh, wait - you can't he's been stone dead for 20 years. Or you could ask my friend who has permanent brain damage from an attack. Oh, wait - you can't because he doesn't remember his life before the attack, so he doesn't have much of an inkling of what he lost.

So why encourage people to come out? I don't at a personal level. It's a decision people have to come to on their own terms, in their own time, if at all.

Why is there a movement that encourages it?

Because Silence = Death. I realize some people will scoff, but gay people already suffer from a lack of visibility - it makes it a lot easier for people to discriminate against us, pass laws that restrict us, kill us without facing any justice, etc.

You see, I haven't forgotten the bad, not-so-old days. I'm not going back in the closet. I've made the choice to live an open, authentic life, despite the risks. Because a life in the closet wasn't living as far as I'm concerned. And if certain people manage to rise to power in this country, well I suppose I'll face an authentic death.

But I'm not going to keep silent while anti-gay people make a mockery of my pain, complaining about how awful it is for them now. What they're facing doesn't even come close.

Funny how things are when the shoe is ever so slightly on the other foot.

 

So you oppose National Coming Out Day and the movement that encourages people to do it?

 

Ever try to come out to your family that the Jews are causing the downfall of the world? It's hard.

 

There are a lot of factors a person should carefully consider before they come out. So no, I'm not a fan; I think it may encourage people to come out without having fully considered the consequences.

Which makes it a bit weird that my husband and I share the anniversary of our first meeting with National Coming Out Day. (we were both already out)

Actually, no - I'm not opposed to that in principle, as I understand the need for visibility. Which isn't to say that I necessarily agree with some of the tactics/strategies surrounding it. I just don't think people should be coerced into coming out before they're ready. And some people will never be ready.

At the same time, I understand that being "in the closet" can be terribly damaging to a person. It teaches us to be hyper-protective, to the point that we end up erecting a virtual wall around ourselves. It teaches us to have trust issues. It teaches us to censor ourselves in a way that no heterosexual person ever has to.

It brought me to a point where I nearly cut all ties to my family. When you start censoring this aspect of who you are, you end up not talking with friends and family members who aren't 'in the know' about a lot of stuff. If you have a 'significant other', they may never even be allowed to know of that person's existence, much less that person's role in your life. There is no 'we' when you're in the closet. When you can't talk about such a significant portion of your life, there's not a lot of point in holding onto relationships with people who don't know the real you, aren't aware of the important things happening in your life.

And I realize such a nuanced position is unlikely to be understood by people whose thought process defines everything in terms of exclusivity - people who see the world as black and white.

 

Amen!!!