Homosexuality is a sin

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Hard-Driver, May 23, 2012.

  1. Hard-Driver

    Hard-Driver Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Laura Schlesinger is a US radio personality, who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. She recently said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination, according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstances. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura which was posted on the Internet.

    Dear Dr. Laura:
    Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate.
    I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
    1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
    2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
    3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
    4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
    5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
    6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
    7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?
    8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
    9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
    10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.
    Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

    I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

    Your adoring fan,Homer Simpson-Caldwell
     
  2. cm75

    cm75 New Member

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    HA! Thats funny...
     
  3. Jefersonian

    Jefersonian New Member

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    Que the apologists. They have their work cut out for them.
     
  4. Wolverine

    Wolverine New Member Past Donor

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    Thats what happens when people selectively quote the Old Testament to justify their bigotries.

    Little do they know that Christianity is in the New Testament.
     
  5. The Wyrd of Gawd

    The Wyrd of Gawd Well-Known Member

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    There really sn't that much difference between the Old & New Testaments.

    The New Testament promises eternal life in a golden cube if you're good. Some passages say that you have to be a Jew to get in. After all, the cube is called New Jerusalem, not New Rome. Otherwise you get tossed into the lake of fire. In the Old Testament once you're dead you're dead and forgotten. Both list the same things as being either good or bad. They are both ethnocentric Jewish religious fairy tales.
     
  6. fifthofnovember

    fifthofnovember Well-Known Member

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    This article is so old. At least it was directed at a Jew, to whom the passages would still be relevant. Kind of shows how archiac and barbaric the religion is.
     
  7. Wolverine

    Wolverine New Member Past Donor

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    I actually do not see them as much alike at all. Except for Revelations, but I do not believe that is a word of a deity.
     

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