10. They refuse to answer the four questions without a subpoena. 9. They demand a recount of the ten plagues. 8. They defend not increasing the minimum wage on the grounds that according to Chad Gadya it still costs only two zuzzimto buy a goat. 7. The afikomen is hidden in the Caymen Islands. 6. They refuse to open the door for Elijah until they see his immigration papers. 5. They attack Moses for negotiating a deal with Pharoah because why would we negotiate with our enemies? 4. They don't understand why the Egyptians didn’t cure the plagues with hydroxychloroquine. 3. They omit the parts about slavery from the Haggadah because it reminds them of Critical Race Theory. 2. They keep saying “when do we get to the miracle of the Jewish space lasers?” And the number one sign that you might be at a Republican seder: 1. They end the seder by singing "Next year in Mar-a-Lago." HAPPY PASSOVER
A MAGA Easter: They take a look a Jesus, with his long hair, sandals, tunic, empathy for the disadvantaged and support of the poor, and decide he's a liberal snowflake.
