Over the weekend we learned that somebody in the American government, and we're looking at you, Jared, asked Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe to nominate Donald Trump for the Actual Genuine Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts to alternatively belittle, threaten war with, and then threaten peace with the North Korean dictatorship. And that Abe apparently did it, almost certainly as a near-free effort to flatter Donald and simplify future conversations with the man. We can only speculate as to why this unnamed U.S. government Nobel-beggar was forced into action, but perhaps it was because the only two nominations for the Nobel Peace Prize Trump had gotten up until that point had both turned out to be "forgeries" peddled by someone who wanted Trump to be nominated but didn't have the credentials to do it themselves. Nobel Committee Secretary Olav Njolstad disclosed on Tuesday that two separate nominations, one from this year and one from last, were referred to the Oslo police. The Oslo police then confirmed that they had contacted the FBI about the forgeries, an indication that they believe the documents originated in the United States, and that they believe the same forger to be behind both attempts. It's really quite amazingly pathetic and deeply funny, so let's all bask in it for a moment. Mr. Njolstad declined to provide details or copies of the forged nominations, but he said it was fair to assume that the documents purported to have been from a nominator who — when contacted — said the nominations were not valid. Now, it is not terribly difficult to get nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. Winning it is another matter, but nominations can come not just from world leaders and lawmakers, but also from university professors in a host of disciplines, meaning the pool of legitimate nominators worldwide is extremely wide. For some American bozo to forge a nomination of Trump by some as-yet unnamed supposed admirer is pathos on a worldwide scale. It's the international version of a child signing a school permission slip "JeFFerys mOM." Did they think nobody checked up on these things? Who did they try to pass themselves off as? Did some weary member of Trump's family or inner circle put them up to it in a last-ditch effort to shut the man up? Trump has repeatedly pouted about deserving a Nobel Prize, and has been publicly bitter about President Barack Obama having one while he himself does not. It is yet another manifestation of his insatiable narcissism and need for recognition as the Greatest Human to Ever Live, and it stands to reason that if Trump's dumbest admirers are willing to send malfunctioning pipe bombs on his behalf, at least one would certainly be dumb enough to forge nominating documents in an attempt to gain a NoBEl PrIz for DeaR LeedeR. At least it's peaceful (though still criminal, apparently). We can only hope we eventually learn the rest of the story on this one. Because it's going to be hilarious, or just sadly pathetic.. Who among Trump's supporters would be dumb enough to do such a thing? Gonna be hard to narrow this one down.
