Perils of ageing

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Robert, Jul 18, 2017.

  1. Robert

    Robert Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I think I'll have a glass of red wine before reading this:


    A.A.A.D.D. - KNOW THE SYMPTOMS!

    Thank GOD there's a name for this disorder.

    Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.


    This is how it manifests:

    I decide to water my garden.
    As I turn on the hose in the driveway,

    I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

    As I start toward the garage,

    I notice mail on the porch table that
    I brought up from the mail box earlier.

    I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

    I lay my car keys on the table,

    Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
    And notice that the can is full.

    So, I decide to put the bills back

    On the table and take out the garbage first...

    But then I think,

    Since I'm going to be near the mailbox
    When I take out the garbage anyway,
    I may as well pay the bills first.

    I take my check book off the table,

    And see that there is only one check left.
    My extra checks are in my desk in the study,

    So I go inside the house to my desk where
    I find the can of Diet Coke I'd been drinking.

    I'm going to look for my checks,
    But first I need to push the Diet Coke aside
    So that I don't accidentally knock it over.

    The Diet Coke is getting warm,
    And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

    As I head toward the kitchen with the


    Diet Coke,
    A vase of flowers on the counter
    Catches my eye--they need water.

    I put the Diet Coke on the counter and
    Discover my reading glasses that
    I've been searching for all morning.
    I decide I better put them back on my desk,
    But first I'm going to water the flowers.

    I set the glasses back down on the counter ,

    Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
    Someone left it on the kitchen table.

    I realize that tonight when we go to


    watch TV,
    I'll be looking for the remote,
    But I won't remember that it's on the

    kitchen table,
    So I decide to put it back in the den where

    it belongs,
    But first I'll water the flowers.

    I pour some water in the flowers,

    But quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

    So, I set the remote back on the table,

    Get some towels and wipe up the spill.

    Then, I head down the hall trying to

    Remember what I was planning to do.

    At the end of the day:
    The car isn't washed,
    The bills aren't paid,
    There is a warm can of
    Diet Coke sitting on the counter,


    The flowers don't have enough water,
    There is still only 1 check in my check book,
    I can't find the remote,
    I can't find my glasses,
    And I don't remember what I did


    with the car keys.
    Then, when I try to figure out why


    nothing got done today,
    I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
    And I'm really tired.

    I realize this is a serious problem,

    And I'll try to get some help for it, but

    first I'll check my e-mail..

    Do me a favor.

    Forward this message to everyone you know,
    Because I don't remember who I've sent it to.

    Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet,


    your day is coming!

    P.S. I don't remember who sent it to me, so if it was you, I'm sorry
     
    Sallyally and Bowerbird like this.
  2. Capt Nice

    Capt Nice Well-Known Member

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    Good job. I especially got a good laugh because I'll be 83 in two weeks.
     
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