Should government even be involved in marriage?

AboveAlpha · Jul 19, 2013

leekohler2 said: ↑

I survived such an upbringing. I'm OK. I agree with you though, I had a lot of unneeded issues I had to overcome due to that.

I remember the first time I started to question what my parents told me. This might sound stupid, but when I was a kid and found out Santa Claus was not real, it really made me doubt anything that came out of my parents' mouths.

One Christmas season, I think I was 6 or 7, I decided to keep what I wanted for Christmas to myself. I told the Santa at the mall what I wanted and that was it. I had my doubts about this Mr Claus after all. My parents kept asking me what I wanted. I said, "Santa knows. If he's real, I'll get what I want." My parents kept insisting that Santa was real the whole time, while asking me what I wanted. I kept what I wanted a secret the whole time up to Christmas Day.

Of course, nothing I got even closely resembled what I asked Santa at the mall for. I was angry at my parents, not because they did not get me gifts, they did- but because they lied to me, and I told them so. The gifts did not matter to me, the truth did. I confronted them right there. "Why did you tell me Santa was real? He's not! Just tell the truth!" They finally did.

After that, I never trusted them to tell me the truth again. I started to question religion too, since I was raised in a fundamentalist family. Why would that be true either? I constantly challenged my parents on why God and Jesus did not answer my prayers. I got the same excuses, "Well, that's just God's plan and we should not question it." Oops- wrong thing to say. I already thought they were lying.

Then, when I went to college and came out as gay after trying to commit suicide, they did the same thing they always did- read the Bible over my hospital bed and told me I was going to Hell. This was the 80's, and they told me of this group that could make me straight with therapy.

I wasn't stupid as a 6 year old, and I certainly was not stupid as a 19 year old. I looked at them and said, "I just told you a secret I've been keeping forever that I almost killed myself for, and you say this to me? This is who I am, it's not gonna change. I'm not gonna try to kill myself over it anymore. It's your turn to change. I'm done trying to please you and everyone else. Deal with it."

Well, they did by cutting me off. I got two jobs and went to school on Pell grants after having to live through the time required to prove I was independent. I couch surfed and slept in my rusty car a few times (which I bought myself for $200).

When I finally got done with school, there was no celebration. Right after that, my brother graduated and was sent on a trip to Australia.

I finally realized that I needed to get out of Ohio and decided to move to Chicago. My parents' reaction?: "We're afraid you'll go to the city and die from AIDS. Here's $50, we'll see you when you get back." That was 1992, I came out in 1986. I went to Chicago with $800 in my pocket, and made it work.

It's now 2013, and I have a successful career in advertising in Chicago and I do not have HIV/AIDS. My parents have come around, and we get along better now. But, they broke so many trust barriers that I don't think can ever heal. I have never asked them for one penny, and have not taken one since they cut me off.

BUT, none of that ever had to happen. My parents had a belief in religion that took precedent over their own kid. That is crazy to me.

But yet, after all that, I do recognize that many religious people can be kind and decent.
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Sorry that happened to you.

I can't think of anything worse than parents abandoning their kid.

I have a hard time listening to certain highly religious people that I come across now and then as they attempt to tell me how I and others should be living our lives.

Now such people would never have an effect upon me but listening to their extremist views I can just imagine how F@#&%$ UP their kids might become in such a household.

AboveAlpha

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Should government even be involved in marriage?

AboveAlpha Well-Known Member

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Should government even be involved in marriage?

AboveAlpha Well-Known Member

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