I may offend any number of people here by writing about this; but I believe that this is something that needs to be said and needed to be said for a long time. For a long time, we have seen huge amount of attention paid to the issue of stalking. Much less attention has been paid to domestic violence. In fact domestic violence is a much bigger issue than stalking, and one that is far more harmful and to far more people. Being stalked is flattering to the woman's ego. Someone is risking going to jail because he finds her attractive. Whereas there is nothing at all flattering about domestic violence. It is disempowering, it is humiliating and it is degrading. A woman who is being stalked gets to feel like a winner. A woman who is being battered gets to feel like a loser. The world mirrors that back. If a woman is being battered, she is blamed for it and abused even more. If a woman is being stalked, she is the damsel in distress and the man who is doing it is an inhuman monster. What we see here therefore is hideous hypocrisy. And in addition to hypocrisy we also see extreme cruelty. If you are borderline, you are disqualified from having relationships. If you are sociopath or narcissist, you are evil and can only be evil whatever you do, however hard you work and whatever work you do on yourself. The cruelty – as well as irrationality – of this is beyond what is ascribed to any narcissist or any sociopath. We see the same people go on and on about how many people get traumatized through wrongful sexual practices. Oh yeah, and sex abuse victims own traumatization. Nobody else gets traumatized at all. In fact, with people who are genuinely traumatized, these people see them as psychos or damaged goods or bringing it about through low self-esteem or negativity in their consciousness. The woman who gets flattering attention gets to pose as a damsel in distress; the woman who gets abusive attention is seen as a loser. Well, you are a father, do you want your daughter getting stalked? Not particularly; but I would be upset a lot more if she wound up with a wife-beater. Getting away from a stalker is as easy as filing a restraining order. Whereas it is much harder – and in many cases impossible – to get away from a violent partner. So we are seeing a lesser issue getting tons of attention, and a much greater issue getting much less attention. Mark Twain said that there was never a truth that was not denied nor a lie that was not heartily believed in. His words remain true over a century after his death.
OP I've lost count of the number of times I've read about young women complaining to the plod that persistent and obviously deranged stalkers have made them fear for their lives, only for the plod to do absolutely nothing about it as per usual. But at least they always apologise when the young woman is eventually murdered, and say they're sorry, and will learn lessons from it to ensure it never happens again, and they're sorry to have failed on this occasion but blah blah ****ing blah.
Most women who get killed are killed through domestic violence. It is a far greater problem and one that deserves much more attention.
You have some serious conceptual errors in this particular post of yours. First off being stalked is not something that typically make a woman flattered or feel like a winner. Sure there may be some that feel like that, but a vast majority feel fear and worry that the stalking will lead to the abuse, since the stalker obviously knows no limits or boundaries. There is also the gross misconception that a restraining order will keep a stalker away. This has been shown repeatedly not to work in many cases. About the same amount of men who would ignore a restraining order for abuse will also ignore it for stalking.
Most of the men who do that are former intimate partners. My concern here is that, while everyone wants to lynch a man who is doing such things who is not an intimate partner, the men who are frequently get away with it. We are seeing a much lesser issue get much more attention while much greater problems are being silenced. And this is exceptionally hypocritical as well as bad for society.
Restraining Orders are just a means of saving the police from having to actually do something proactively. It's the first rule of bureaucrats in all their guises, viz. 'If it's easier to do nothing, then do nothing.' - in this case, acquire a RO, serve it, then forget about it.
Oh come on. A guy risks everything he has because he finds you attractive, and you are not flattered by that? My biggest concern here is that a smaller issue gets much greater attention than a much larger issue. Far more women die from domestic violence than from stalking, and it is also worse for the kids.
"Being stalked is flattering to the woman's ego. Someone is risking going to jail because he finds her attractive." No it isn't. You are wrong on this, ABSOLUTELY WRONG. It is not flattering in the least. It is horrifying and frightening. You are so wrong. I don't discount domestic violence, but stalking is not a 'lesser' problem. I have experienced both.
Stalking has nothing to do with attraction and more to do with mental illness or mental defect, and when it graduates to actual violence or rape. It is about power and control and is abnormal behavior, bottom line is this, women should defend themselves from attack. Oh wait you live in Russia, no options for concealed carry or self defense..... lol
No, I live in Australia. I am concerned, once again, that a smaller issue gets tons of attention while a larger issue gets very little attention. Far more women die from domestic violence than from stalking, and it is time that this issue be rightfully and seriously addressed.
First off, regardless of which is the larger or smaller issue, you do nothing to establish any credibility towards your point if you are throwing out false information, of which your OP is chocked full of. Secondly, you need to establish, with verifiable data, where the stalking issue is receiving more attention and prevention effort than domestic violence. If you cannot not show this world wide, but can for a given area, such as Australia, only, then that should have been part of your OP. Right now, what you are claiming seems to be more your perception than actual fact. This is before we look at the fact that stalking is one of the potential precursors to violence, whether you want to consider it domestic violence or not.
Yes, a very strong man with hands like steel vice clamps, and has freind Ibshambat by the onions and is about to convert the family jewels into juice ? Oh, how flattering !! Only a man thinks like that, sounds like a rude comment made to a Woman should be considered flattering too....
That has actually happened, believe it or not. More on this and related at https://sites.google.com/site/ilyashambatthought/-sex-objects-and-sex-predators
Your article doesn’t answer the question, If you were stalked by a man who found you sexually attractive,you would be ok with it?
If he looked through my window pleasuring himself while I was changing... yes. It is nice to help people be happy.
