A scientist and a denier went out for a walk along the shore of a pond. Upon seeing a duck, the scientist said, "Oh look, a duck!". The denier replied "Being I am such a superior skeptic, I can not accept that classification. You have not proven that said object is a duck, therefore we must logically assume it's not a duck." The scientist said "But it's quacking!". The denier replied "A duck decoy can quack. Thus, that doesn't show it's a duck." The scientist said "It has feathers!". The denier replied "So did dinosaurs. Thus, that doesn't show it's a duck." The scientist said "It's floating in a pond!". The denier replied "Wood floats too, as do witches. Thus, that doesn't show it's a duck." The scientist said "Now it's walking on two legs!". The denier replied "So do people. Thus, that doesn't show it's a duck." The scientist said "It has a broad flat bill and webbed feet!". The denier replied "So does a platypus. Thus, that doesn't show it's a duck." The scientist said "It's not any single quality that determines duckness. It's the sum total of all of them!" The denier replied "Incorrect. Being that each individual quality does not absolutely prove duckness, we can therefore draw no conclusions of any sort from the data." The scientist said "So what do you classify it as?" The denier replied. "That's not important. We skeptics can't be expected to sully our beautiful minds by doing actual work and producing useful results. The only important thing is how we've conclusively proven it can't possibly be a duck, and thus that anyone who says it is a duck must be some kind of socialist."
