Vote fraud satire alert Fort Leavenworth, KS (AP) The Residents Association of Cell Block 62, Fort Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary, issued a statement today requesting that the Republican National Committee clarify their position on voter fraud, a position which emphasizes alleged Democratic Party recruitment of convicted felons to vote. Association spokesperson, Franklin Felony Frank Ferndock (Armed Robbery and Interstate Transportation of Stolen Goods, 10-15 Years) pointed out a certain inconsistency in the GOP position in that it contradicts many state and federal laws, a subject on which Association members are somewhat expert. Ferndock pointed out, as backup material for their query, the existence of one Congressman Darrell Edward Issa (R-CA, 49th District). Congressman Issa is currently considered one of the GOP experts on investigations, specifically investigations of Democrats, a status resulting from his experience in the field of investigations. Congressman Issa is considered an expert because, in his younger days, he was investigated for car theft in 1971 and 1972, and a vehicular moving violation which resulted in police discovering a firearm in the glove compartment of the vehicle and charging him with carrying a concealed weapon (subsequently changed to possession of an unregistered firearm he was convicted of that one). In 1998, after an investigation, the San Francisco Examiner revealed that Congressman Issa had made false statements concerning his military career, statements which claimed participation in operations which never took place and commendations for those operations when, in fact, the Congressman received a less than stellar evaluation for that period and a resulting transfer to other duties. More recently, Congressman Issa was investigated by the Watchdog Institute for supposedly including in his staff of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform persons with connections to companies being investigated. Additionally, the Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington revealed that, on 28 June, 2012, material concerning legal wiretap operations was revealed in the Congressional Record by Congressman Issa, such revelations being in violation of Federal law. There is, so far, no record of an investigation of this matter by the Republican-dominated House. The Residents Association concluded their statement with the recommendation that the Republican Party be purged from the rolls of voters for interstate transportation of Congressman Issa. The Republican National Committee has characterized the Associations statement as obviously the result of a criminal conspiracy tainted by Islamo-Fascist-Socialist-Commie-Hippie-Pinko ideology which hates our way of life.
