You Might Be A Conservative If...

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by NotDependant, Dec 4, 2011.

  1. Colonel K

    Colonel K Well-Known Member

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    Being a Conservative means never having to say you are "Sorry!", because you never are.
     
  2. PatriotNews

    PatriotNews Well-Known Member

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    You might be a conservative if you think an unborn child is an innocent life worth saving,
    but a convicted murderer found guilty by a jury of his peers deserves the death penalty.

    You might be a liberal if you think an unborn child is a growth that can be terminated at will,
    but a convicted murderer found guilty by a jury of his peers should not be executed by the state.
     
  3. Makedde

    Makedde New Member Past Donor

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    ^oi! You spoiled the thread! :angered:
     
  4. Makedde

    Makedde New Member Past Donor

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    You might be a conservative if you believe that women should be punished for having sex

    You might be a conservative if you expect people to work 18 hours a day just to pay the bills

    You might be a conservative if you think that Christianity should be taught in schools but are outraged at the mere thought of Islam being taught to the same students

    You might be a conservative if you don't want the government interfering in your life, but are happy to have the government interfere in everyone else's life
     
  5. Wildjoker5

    Wildjoker5 Well-Known Member

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    You might be a liebral if you think minorities can't get into college without help from a 10 point boost toward their race instead of their merit.

    You might be a liebral is you think minorities are so poor that they need welfare which requires a valid photo ID, but so poor that they can't afford a photo ID to vote.

    You might be a liebral if you think checking photo IDs is voter intimidation yet two guys with billy clubs in front of a polling center telling any person they think might vote for the republican to get loss is just "protection".
     
  6. REDRUM

    REDRUM New Member

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    23) Validate that The War Powers Act is unconstitutional except when a Democrat is President of The United States Of America.

    24) Ignore the fact that the stimulus didn’t work.

    25) Complain that Republicans are going to cease or drastically make cuts in Medicare even though "ObamaCare" calls for nearly $500 billion dollars cuts in Medicare, depriving the handicapped, the disabled access to quality health care coverage.
     
  7. Wildjoker5

    Wildjoker5 Well-Known Member

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    Bush got congress approval for both wars.

    Is unemployment higher or lower than what it was when Obama signed the stimulus? Did it go above projected unemployment rates if it hadn't passed?

    Ah, you missed the news that that money that it was supposed to save has already been eaten in costs? Sucks to be wrong all the time about your socialistic policies huh?
     
  8. REDRUM

    REDRUM New Member

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    26) Continue to ignore the fact that President Obama authorized the extra judicial murder of a U.S. citizen which is a violation of International Law, U.S. statutory law and a violation of the U.S. Constitution.

    27) Continue to live in a state of denial and ignore the fact that when individuals are forced into entering into a contract such as "Obamacare", that legislation violates the Property Rights of the Individual and is technically unconstitutional.
     
  9. Wildjoker5

    Wildjoker5 Well-Known Member

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    Back to showing who on the right is actually a progressive, not someone who is a conservative, ie conserving the constitution of the USA.

    Are we talking progressives or liberals here now?
     
  10. Clint Torres

    Clint Torres New Member

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    If you need to go to church to have a preacher tell you what is right and wrong, you could be a conservative.

    If you find yourself at church nodding your head and swining your arms and can't understand what the preacher is talking about, you could be a t-bagger.
     
  11. Clint Torres

    Clint Torres New Member

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    If you think Jorge Boooosh (W) is a smart fellow, you might be a conservative.
     
  12. montra

    montra New Member

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    I you think Boooosh was a conservative, you might be a liberal.
     
  13. montra

    montra New Member

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    If you need to have the Supremes tell you what is right or wrong, you might be a liberal.

    If you find yourself bashing those of faith for believing in God just for mere sport and then mindlessly link them to the Teaparty, you are definately a liberal.
     
  14. DontLoseTouch

    DontLoseTouch New Member

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    Neoconservative is still conservative. Just because a majority of you are too hypocritical for your own label doesn't mean you don't still fit it.
     
  15. montra

    montra New Member

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    So what made "W" conservative? Was it his socialist bail out of corporate America? Was it his insane spending running up deficits? Was it his ability to ignore illegal immigration? Or perhaps it was his massive entitlement program with drugs for seniors?

    In all honesty, I just can't decide. Oh yea, I just remembered. "W" was against abortion and claimed to be a Christian. My bad, never mind. He must be a conservative.

    Face it. "W" is a carbon copy of Obama.

    The truth is just too hard for neoliberals to embrace.
     
  16. NotDependant

    NotDependant New Member

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    To wildjoker5.
    I did not make this up
     
  17. Colonel K

    Colonel K Well-Known Member

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    You might be a Conservative if people at your stag party dress as Nazis....

    "A Conservative MP has been sacked as a parliamentary private secretary over "offensive and foolish" behaviour.

    Cannock Chase MP Aidan Burley was pictured in the Mail on Sunday last week with a man dressed as a Nazi SS officer at a stag party in France.

    Mr Burley said subsequently he "deeply regretted" what had happened.

    But the Conservative Party said the MP was being removed from his post and it was launching a fuller investigation "in light of information received". ..."

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-16234529
     
  18. danboy9787

    danboy9787 New Member

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    1) At this point in W.'s career, our country wasn't quite falling apart yet

    2) Unions may have started with the best intentions, but now they are no better than big corporations: they force you to pay them and then they bully people around. I think there are too many, and they are too powerful. Too many people get tenure or protected from being fired after they do something MORE than worthy of being fired

    3)Muslims can build stuff wherever they want in MY conservative opinion.

    4)I don't think Obama is a muslim, though he MAY have been, either way he is just an idiot... again in MY conservative opinion.

    5) I disagree with BOTH health care bills, but if one were to pass, according to the laws in place by the constitution, it would have to be a state law.

    6)I can't even argue that... its just stupid. Second amendment IS a right and even if you wanted to change that it just wouldn't happen.

    7)No, but i don't think Obama should really get any credit either.

    8)That WAS socialism. Why would you take a bankrupt failed company that cannot succeed in America, and give them money from the taxpayers to let them try again? That sounds smart... We should have given money to the companies that were succeeding even during the hard times, that way they could expand while the bad companies fell.

    9) Anyone that tries to talk to me, needs to speak English. If I willingly go to a special area for a certain ethnicity, then that is different. Its a tourist attraction.

    10)He wasn't a conservative. As you said yourself, he was a LUNATIC

    11)I have never agreed with govt. using debt. But Obama has raised the deficit more than others.

    12)I don't even understand this one...

    13)This I doubt very much. Maybe there are a few sections of the tax code that are lower, but as a whole- much worse.

    14)They are in those other countries because the liberals like to tax the crap out of corporations until they cannot afford to be here! Especially smaller businesses.

    15)I think gays are people too, just because they sin like EVERY OTHER HUMAN ON EARTH, doesnt mean they should be singled out.

    16)You and I will have to disagree, I do not think murder is a right. Even if it is just a little fetus.

    17)Corporations aren't people, but they are OWNED by people, so certain rights should be applied. We could lower corp. tax, yet close loopholes to make sure things still get better.

    18)bleh your a socialist blob

    19)Climate change isn't a myth, the climate is ALWAYS changing. In fact, it was changing significantly even far before homo sapiens were even walking around on the planet. We should do our fair share to help the environment, but not when doing so bankrupts america and businesses. We need to balance a little.

    20)I'm quite certain your numbers are fudged a little here.. but I'll bite. Obama has RECORD numbers in the deficit area, several years in a row. And obviously what he did didnt help THAT much.

    21)This is just a stereotyping bigoted remark against Christians, so I have nothing to say about it.

    22)Again, just more hateful propaganda against conservatives. I respect the white house when it earns it, and even then I would never disrespect the position personally. However, I do not like the president, nor do I agree with his decisions.

    Problems?
     
  19. Clint Torres

    Clint Torres New Member

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    If you can't read more than 5 word sentances that are single spaced and more than 4 sentances in a paragraph, with one missspelled word, you could be a republican, or t-bagger formerly known as a republican because you wanted to distance yourself from Jorge W Booooooosh.
     
  20. Makedde

    Makedde New Member Past Donor

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    If you look at every hispanic person and assume they are an illegal, you are probably a conservative.
     
  21. danboy9787

    danboy9787 New Member

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    ^ LOL thats so true, and i AM a conservative. But I grew up on the border, and I admit its really hard for me to not be a little prejudice sometimes. I mean I was one of about 2 or 3 other white guys in my whole high school, and there was alot of reverse racism pointed towards us. Like we didn't belong... in our own country? We even a few times had large groups of mexicans basically attack us. I just thought it was a little ridiculous. While I am white(r than paper), my family has alot of mexican background and I love the mexican culture. But around the border it has become so twisted truly just disgusting. And there was nothing I could do, because to call a mexican out on being racist was, apparently, racist. At least thats what my mexican vice principal told me right before she started filling out a week of detention for me. BUT, i have learned to distinguish between perfectly nice people of mexican descent, and the "mexicans" that think they are all thug and white people should go away. The difference becomes quite clear.
     
  22. danboy9787

    danboy9787 New Member

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    ^ You spelled sentence incorrectly on purpose... right?
     

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