How a husband can enjoy sex that is grudgingly given by his wife

That goes both ways. How do you think a man feels if his wife doesn't want to get intimate as a rule? Sex for a woman, as a general rule, takes more work then sex for a man. Men and women are different in what they use to "get in the mood.". For women, often sex is mental. It's all easy when you have no real responabilities...but put in a job, kids, financial issues....some woman don't want to deal with the work. My personal deal is that I get insomnia after sex. Not sure my husband can be nicer to me to fix that. The thought of a night trying to ease back into sleep and the prospect of a lousy day at work doesn't help me get in the mood.The woman's cost/ benefit of sex really may not be in the man's control. yet regardless...intimacy is crucial in the marriage.

 

So you admit that sex is a really difficult thing for you. How does your husband feel about that?

If it was me, I'd be all "put out, or I'm going to go elsewhere".

But I appreciate that your husband is a much more caring and supportive man than I am. Yet, I'm pretty sure he has a sex drive somewhere buried deep within the confines of your purse. How long should he go before saying to hell with this nonsense! I'm gonna go out and pork that chick at the office that's been hitting on me!"?

A couple months of this touchy-feely nonsense, before even you admit that he might just as well go elsewhere, because the emotional issues aren't going away no matter how many grilled salmon dinners you come back home to, and he's got needs that you aren't capable of helping with?

How long do you really honestly think a guy should put up with that nonsense before deciding that your issues aren't necessarily his issues?

 

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If you are married to someone who does not enjoy having sex with you I believe it would be alright to find someone who does want to have sex with you and dump her asap.

 

No name calling at all, just calling a rapist a rapist... all rapists justify why they rape and , of course, they always blame the woman...rapists, and those who support them, are weak and insecure and can't accept responsibility for their own actions.

Some men think if a woman wears a dress that exposes her ankles she's "asking for it".....some men think if a woman exposes her hair, she's "asking for it...any excuse at all ...women don't walk around naked and even if they did raping them is still wrong to normal decent people.

Men who blame women for their bad behavior are just grunting animals with no brain or backbone...

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Off topic as usual.......... and there is such a thing as a stupid question.

 

And vice versa. One of the husband's duties is to sexually please his wife.

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What's wrong with that idea? The opposite is true as well. Husbands need to sexually please their wives. If you don't want sex, don't marry.

 

That's strange to me. In the Catholic Church, sex is viewed as a key part of a marital relationship.

 

Bad try.

Any idea can be disregarded for any reason. The reason you're disregarding what I say has nothing to do with such refusal, obviously.

It doesn't need defending. It's your idea that needs defending; and it's fair to say it needs an infinite amount of defending, because it's utterly indefensible, other than by way of deception.

What goes both ways?

Doesn't matter, because the issue why she doesn't, not anybody's feelings.

 

Stop redefining rape. You're spitting in the faces of the woman who have actually been through the traumatic and violent experience of real rape. And they deserve more respect than that.

 

Rape is rape whether or not it's violent.

However, It can BE violent even if the two are married....WHY would you think it wouldn't be???

If a woman says no and the man has sex with her anyway it IS rape. Being married to a rapist does not excuse the rape.

 

There is a difference between rape and marital rape.

 

There is? What? How is "no" different in marriage than outside marriage?

 

Imo, working at a marriage is a two way street. I disagree with an earlier post that suggested that pre-marrital sex would make sure they are compatible. It is important that couples have a more deeper relationship than sex. Sex is something that can be worked on.

Proper courtship should find out if either potential spouse is compatible before sex. Most true love relationships are built on honesty, respect, how they respect family, are they good providers and good father/ mother material. After marriage, sex is like glue to bond the other compatalibles. Those who base their marriage largy on sexual performance will eventually be dissatisfied.

It is a true love bond that enables a women/man to want to sexually please a spouse when they are not sexually arroused to do so. Men should never assume they do not have to romance at times to stimulate their wives.

I suggest men read a book by Dr. Laura on "How to please a women every time".

 

Fine... there's no difference. I'm open-minded.

 

Yes. There is a big difference.

 

But you can't say what it is...........do women become slaves, property, when they get married?

 

Only for the purpose of procreation. If the wife didn't want to have any more children, than she most likely viewed sex as nonexistent.

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What's the difference. No means no. It doesn't matter if their married or not, NEITHER partner has a right to FORCE their partner to have sex.

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Open minded to what? Being able to force your partner to have sex?

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No means no. There is NO difference. Neither partner has the right to FORCE the other to have sex.

 

Actually, I was very much sure that it was marital rape until Freshair pointed out that he wouldn't be comfortable defining something as rape when the women is actually giving her consent. I think he made an excellent point, although I still think such an incident has a similar psychological effect on the woman as rape.

 

I'm referring to marital rape as the wife says no and the husband forces himself on her. If she is consenting, and not under any alcohol influence or any other influence that would degrade her mental ability, then I don't view it as marital rape. Now, what I think Freshair "might" be pointing out "could" be construed as spousal abuse.

 

That's not what the article was describing, though.

So, we agree.

 

The wife that is mistreated by a husband she chose is different from the woman on the jogging trail getting raped by a stranger are different.

 

Have your junkie kid steal from you and have a stranger rib you by gunpoint and say they are no different.

 

NO, NO means NO...it doesn't mean anything else just because the circumstances change.

I see you DO think women become slaves/property when they marry but they really don't.


Agreeing to marry is not agreeing to being raped. Lowering rape to the status of "mistreatment" is ridiculous.

 

A man wouldn't understand.
What is your interest in women's issues?
A woman is as much property as she allows herself to be.

 

A man wouldn't understand what? ALL men don't understand ?


A woman is NEVER property.......she may allow herself to be a doormat but she is NEVER property.


And no matter what a woman thinks of herself when she says NO it means NO.

 

You are incorrect. Sex is not just for procreation in the Catholic Church, it's also to strengthen a marriage. Love your strawman, though.