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Tasteless Humor

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Jul 19, 2014.

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  1. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    My boss told me today if I didn't stop acting so childishly at work then he would discharge me.


    Hehehe Discharge
     
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2018
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 21, 2018
    #1401
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  2. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    A little girl walking through some dark woods with a stranger to see his puppies. ‘She says’, I’m getting scared.


    Stranger says, ‘You think you're scared I have to walk back on my own’
     
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2018
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 21, 2018
    #1402
  3. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    That's the Jimmy Carr one I can't forget.
     
    Sallyally, Jul 21, 2018
    #1403
  4. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Oi, how did you get in my bathroom to take the photo. Grrr.
     
    Nonnie, Jul 21, 2018
    #1404
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  5. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    In 49BC, Julius Caesar was the first person to receive the weather forecast
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    Hail Caesar
     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2018
    Nonnie, Jul 22, 2018
    #1405
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  6. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Waiting for Paul Francis Gadd's new autobiography to come out
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    It's called up the sh*tter with Gary Glitter.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 22, 2018
    #1406
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  7. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Keep Britain tidy
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    Picnic in France ;)
     
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 22, 2018
    #1407
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  8. The Scotsman

    The Scotsman Well-Known Member

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    ...or the Medway Towns!!
     
    The Scotsman, Jul 23, 2018
    #1408
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  9. Socialism Works

    Socialism Works Well-Known Member

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    Parody of the old Heinz Baked Beans commercial:



    "A million Biafrans every day open a can of beans and say 'One for you, one for me'"

    You can't beat good old tasteless humour.
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2018
    Socialism Works, Jul 23, 2018
    #1409
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  10. The Scotsman

    The Scotsman Well-Known Member

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    Ah mate... do remember all the old Biafra jokes!
    What do you call a Biafran family portrait.....
    A bar code
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2018
    The Scotsman, Jul 23, 2018
    #1410
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  11. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Trump has issued a standard answer to all questions concerning his administration. The intent is to provide consistency. The memo reads as follows: Answers on Mondays will be Yes. Answers to the same questions on Tuesday will be no. Wed, yes. Thurs no. Friday yes. Saturday, don't bother me, I'm golfing. Sunday, "Who cares?!?! Let's grab some pssy."
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2018
    HereWeGoAgain, Jul 23, 2018
    #1411
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  12. Moi621

    Moi621 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    If So Very Untrue,

    How come it's funny?








    ​
    Moi :oldman:
     
    Moi621, Jul 24, 2018
    #1412
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  13. The Scotsman

    The Scotsman Well-Known Member

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    AFRICAN INFANTRYMAN.....

    Can anyone tell me why this lad has a pizza stuck to the front of his face...is this some form of new body armour....??
    upload_2018-7-24_12-18-54.png
     
    The Scotsman, Jul 24, 2018
    #1413
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  14. The Scotsman

    The Scotsman Well-Known Member

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    Muslim fella dies and goes to heaven and is very excited because all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet Mohammed.

    Arriving at the Gates of Heaven, he’s met by a lad with a beard.
    "Are you Mohammed?" he asks hopefully.
    "No, my son. I am Saint Peter.. your Prophet Mohammed is higher up in the heavens." And he points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.

    Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Saint Peter, he heads for the ladder and climbs up in great strides. After a long climb the Muslim lad arrives in a room where he meets another bearded man.

    Again he asked hopefully, "Are you the Prophet Mohammed?"

    "No, I am Moses. Mohammed can be found higher in the heavens. You must ascend the ladder"
    Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he continues his journey and climbs. again he discovers an even larger room where he meets another man with a beard. So full of hope but gasping for air, he asks again, "Are you Mohammed?"
    "No, I am Jesus... You must continue your journey for Mohammed is higher up in the heavens. You must ascend by the golden stairs"

    Wow! Mohammed higher than Jesus! Thinks our Muslim lad. He can hardly contain his delight and sets forth on the golden stairs climbing and climbing ever higher.

    Finally, sweating like a race horse and gasping for breath the lad flops into large highly ornate chamber where he meets yet another fella with a beard and repeats his question:

    "Are you Mohammed?" he wheezes as by now he’s totally knackered and out of breath from all his climbing.

    "No my son.....I am God. But you look exhausted.
    Can I offer you refreshments?"

    "Yes, please, my Lord."
    God looks behind him at a figure sitting in corner and claps his hands
    “Oi!! You...Mohammed get us some cold drinks and a plate of sandwiches and be quick about it!”
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2018
    The Scotsman, Jul 24, 2018
    #1414
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  15. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Looks like he's phoning in his Dominoes pizza order.
     
    Nonnie, Jul 24, 2018
    #1415
  16. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    I think he might be an advertisement. His lip plate and shell necklace can't be helpful when he's sighting his gun.
     
    Sallyally, Jul 24, 2018
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  17. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    A marijuana growing operation in Washington burned down last night. Fifty fire stations responded and brought their own munchies.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Jul 25, 2018
    #1417
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  18. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    An elderly bloke was invited to an old mate's home for dinner one evening.
    He was amazed by the way his mate preceded every request to his missus with endearing terms such as: Darling, Honey, My Love, Pumpkin, Sweetheart, etc..

    The couple had been married almost 50 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.

    When the missus went back to the kitchen to get more beers for the blokes, the old bloke leaned over to his host, and said: "I think it's mucking afazing that, after all these years, you still call your missus those loving pet names."

    The old bloke hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth," he said. "Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago, -- and I'm scared to death to ask the old bitch what it is."
     
    Sallyally, Jul 25, 2018
    #1418
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  19. Moi621

    Moi621 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    DrunkDriving.jpg ​
     
    Moi621, Jul 26, 2018
    #1419
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  20. The Scotsman

    The Scotsman Well-Known Member

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    A mate told me a really....and I mean really sick joke yesterday evening....

    I'm going to hell for repeating this......

    Girl goes to her Dad and says "Dad, you know I just passed my driving test can I borrow the car tonight?"
    "yeah okay" he says "but you know the score"
    "Yes I know" she replies "I have to give you a blowie"
    "That's my girl, well remembered"
    She gets down and unzips the guys trousers .......
    "DAAAAD" she say "Your dick smells of *****!!!"
    "Oh yeah..." he says "I'd completely forgotten, your Brother has the car tonight"


    .........:hiding:
     
    The Scotsman, Jul 26, 2018
    #1420
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  21. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    That is very rough!
     
    Sallyally, Jul 26, 2018
    #1421
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  22. The Scotsman

    The Scotsman Well-Known Member

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    yeah I know...I'm going to hell....my only defence was that its a mate that told me it...he had another....I'm not repeating that though
     
    The Scotsman, Jul 26, 2018
    #1422
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  23. Diablo

    Diablo Well-Known Member

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    I thought it was very funny, actually.
     
    Diablo, Jul 26, 2018
    #1423
  24. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Rough but.
     
    Sallyally, Jul 26, 2018
    #1424
  25. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Yep your going to hell but it has better TV and all your mates will be there.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 26, 2018
    #1425
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