Tasteless Humor

You don't have anything to hide, do you?

So why not let the "police" snoop through your personal papers, effects, home, electronic foot prints.

What are you hiding?

Speak clearly into the microphone.


YOU don't have to be
to have watch YOU.

 

Aaarrrggghh! Now you're taunting them! I've done nothing.

 

"They" will be the judge of that.

If you have nothing to hide, and have done nothing, why be concerned?

By today's investigation standards, if they find nothing, they keep looking.
What will they find?

The NSA is our friend.
It keeps us safe and free.

 

If the NSA are listening to my conversations they'll be very bored, also I used Tor This probably makes me look dodgier lol.

 

I just read the report that is some batshit crazy right there lol.

 

Did you ever come across anything to do with this bloke?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disappearance_of_Frederick_Valentich

 

​

 

Oh yes! That is a very famous case.


I have a thread with a few of the more interesting cases linked. I started it because of a particular claim but linked some interesting cases after that.
http://www.politicalforum.com/index...eclare-that-aliens-have-visited-earth.535760/

 

Trump's lies.
"For millions and millions of Americans, climate change is a hoax, Hillary Clinton ran a child sex ring out of a pizza parlor and immigrants cause crime. Whether they truly believe those falsehoods or not is debatable—and possibly irrelevant. The research to date suggests that they see those lies as useful weapons in a tribal us-against-them competition that pits the “real America” against those who would destroy it."

https://blogs.scientificamerican.co...ence-of-blue-lies-may-explain-trumps-support/

 

It did make me laugh though lol because it was so ridiculous.

"cheese pizza" is the code for child pornography!

Gives new meaning to I'll have an extra small

 

A farmer named Bruce had a car accident, he was hit by a truck owned by the Fosters brewery.
In court, the Fosters’ hot-shot solicitor was questioning Bruce.
'Didn't you say to the police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor.
Bruce responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I'd just loaded my cow into the... '
'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'
Bruce said, 'Well, I'd just got the cow into the trailer and I was drivin' down the road.... '
The solicitor interrupted again and said,'Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question. '
By this time, the Judge had become fairly interested in Bruce's answer and said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his cow'.
Bruce thanked the Judge and proceeded.'Well as I was saying, I had just loaded the cow into de trailer to take her to the Ekka in Brissie and was drivin' her down the road when this huge Foster’s truck and trailer came thundering through a stop sign and hit me trailer right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and the cow was thrown into the ditch on the other side of the road. By Jesus I was hurt, very bad, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear my cow moanin' and groanin'. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.
Shortly after the accident, a cop on a motorbike turned up. He could hear my cow moanin' and groanin' too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her right between the eyes.
Then the cop came across de road, gun still in hand and smoking, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feeling?'
'Now what the F#&K! would you say?'

 

If you stand by the sea, it sounds like putting a shell to your ear.

 

Did you know that by placing your genitals in the freezer for 5 minutes lowers your body temperature quicker than any other body part. It is also the quickest way to get a lifetime ban from Lidls.

 

A young bloke was laying on his back on a massage table, wearing only a towel over his groin.
A young, very attractive Swedish girl was massaging his shoulders, then his chest, and gradually worked her way down his torso.
The guy was getting sexually excited as the masseur approached the towel.
The towel began to lift and the Swedish girl arched her eyebrows. "You wanna wank?" she asked.
"You bet," came the excited reply. "O.K.," she said. "I come back in ten minutes."

 

With a side of guacamole is for diaper fetishers.

 

I once went to a place that was advertised as a family massage clinic on the sign in front of the building. I had a lot of neck pain and hoped a great deep-tissue massage would help. But when I entered the building, things didn't seem quite right. It was a very small waiting area and no receptionist was there. A sign said to be seated and someone will be right out. Soon enough a Asian woman around age 40 and wearing tiger-striped miniskirt came out. Uh oh! Now I know something isn't right. But I was curious so I followed her into the hall. As we walked I saw a few very young women scrambling to get behind doors so I wouldn't see them. UH OH! By then I was sure but still hoped for a real massage. I was this far in and wanted to see what the rest of the place was like.

The older woman came into the room again a few minutes later and was clearly signaling for me to remove my pants. I said I just wanted a regular massage. This confused her. She said something like, don't you want our special massage? I said no, just a regular massage. She tried but didn't even know how to give a real massage. And it was clear that she was worried I was a cop. She feigned a massage and got me out of there as fast as she could.

 

A dodgy friend of mine went to Berlin to visits a common acquaintance and wanted to see a whore not realising the it's legal in Berlin he went to a massage parlour and was kicked out very quickly lol having the opposite problem to yourself lol.

 

Eeeeeeewwwwww! Guacamole will never be the same again.

 

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