Tasteless Humor 3, Lord How Many More?

and the number 1% came from your producer of skid marks. A properly made mask blocks most of the droplets that carry the virus from one person to the next. Covid-19 like other virus lack wings and cannot move from point to point in it's own.

 

It was eleven years ago today my best mate James came running out of the room shouting "It's a boy!" with tears streaming down his face.
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We never went back to Thailand.

 

Properly made, yes. Like the N95. Blocks 95%. Hence the name.
A bandana or homemade piece of cloth, blocks 3% or less or spewed particles.

 

Alabama Pastor
An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."

No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression." Again, all was quiet.

Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

 

What does a deaf gynecologist do?
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He reads lips.

 

That’s a bit scarey!

 

Who let the dogs watch MSNBC again?
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Recently started therapy with the wife.
****ing great, now two people hate me, both have my number and I'm paying both of them.

 

Sex Therapy for the Elderly !
A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist’s office.
The doctor asks, “What can I do for you?”
The man says, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?”
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees. When the couple finishes, the doctor says, “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.” He thanks them for coming and he wishes them good luck. He charges them $50 and says good bye.
The next week, the same couple returns and asks the therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees. This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leaves.
Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, “I’m sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?”
The man says, “We’re not trying to find out anything. She’s married; so we can’t go to her house. I’m married; and we can’t go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We come here for $50, and Medicare pays $43 of it, leaving me a net cost of $7.”

 

Therapy
Me: "I'm afraid of random letters"
Therapist: "You are?"
Me: *Screams*
Therapist: [confused pause] "Oh, I see"
Me: *Screaming intensifies*

 

Minneapolis Police Station
burned by protesters



Minneapolis should change the city's name to

Banshee, Minnesota


Ref.: Cinemax series, "Banshee"
Life imitating art.


Moi

​

 

therapy
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable – an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.

Finally, after she had completely unburdened herself, the therapist got up, walked around the desk, and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched.

The woman quietly sat down in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do that?"

And the husband said, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays I play golf."

 

So it turns out the best way to get social justice for George is a new 100" TV from Target?

 

Ouch! That stung!

 

At the school petting zoo, the animals all give different things.
The sheep’s give wool to make blankets,

The pigs give therapy for the disabled kids,

And the fat cow gives out homework.