Ask a Dark Lord of the Sith anything...

You missed the point. Sith are, by definition, Dark Jedi. You would be more suitable for a Gray Jedi. A Jedi who views the Force as a whole, and not as Dark or Light, and uses both sides equally, depending on what a situation calls for.

 

Ok, I'll go with Gray Jedi...I've never really heard that term before today.

 

They are not an offical group. It's just the nickname that is given to Force users who do not side with the Dark or Light. Jolee Bindo, from Knights of the Old Republic is a Gray Jedi. He tells the player that he "Sees more gray than dark or light" when he talks about his allignment.

 

Have you figured out a fix for that design flaw in the Death Star that allowed it to be entirely obliterated by a single shot?

 

Yes..I remeber his character in KOTOR....One of the best RPG games I've ever played

 

And the Jedi don't? Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis "the wise"?

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As you can see, my young apprentice, your friends have failed. Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL battle station!

 

Ok, here's a question Dark Lord: "why did you send your only begotten son to earth 2000 years ago and...."...wait...hold on...wait.....oh crud, I'm thinking of a DIFFERENT dark lord, not you, SORRY, my bad. Disregard this post.

 

You will find that it is you who are mistaken, about a great many things.

 

So then tell me, Darth Gorn, why are you so incredibly savage that if an extremely moral Jedi youngling (say young Jedi Gandhi - who just say died at the age of 8-years-old), doesn't simply "believe" in you, that this youngling would get his own personal torture-droid for eternity? And you're morally ok with this. But the 2.1 billion Sith in the world today get to go to your exclusive supremacist country-club in the sky? You don't sound very FAIR to me, Darth. You sound just like another Sith supremacist that I know of, who promised that he'd return in his young apprentices' lifetime (Darth Matthew 16:28 ), but he isn't real because he clearly LIED about that (it's been 2000 years and counting.)

 

I agree, Darth, as walking on water is unnatural, and turning water in to booze is unnatural as well. I'm glad I left the Dark Side as a youngling and embraced the teaching of my master, Jedi Dawkins.

 

Is this eternal-life crap true, or is Jesus Christ just crazy?

 

Join me or die....that sounds like Jesus.
I think you're just like Jesus, but with not nearly as toned of abs.

 

You said you'd return and save us, but it's been like 2000 years....dude, what's up with that?

 

Have you ever hit that...or is the old "light-saber" a little weak at your advanced age?

 

Funny, the only failure of "Force" ever reported by those endowed with such, came from those trying to use it on others. Such weakness is to be pitied....and so I do.

 

Another question: how come your apprentice, Darth Jesus, like Darth Vader, never spoke out against slavery? Was he taken in by the Dark Side, like you? Since he never spoke out against slavery, or killing gays, etc., maybe Darth Jesus was secretly really Darth Satan....I guess we'll just have to wait for Darth Disney fill us in on that one.

 

1. So apparently you believe that it's COMPLETELY FAIR AND JUST for Jedi Gandhi to be tortured by a torture-droid forever, even though he was a very very moral, correct?
2. Have you studied the great life of Darth Darwin "the wise"? When you do, you'll leave the Dark Side forever.

 

Question: why didn't you just say to your apprentice "hey you perv, stop boinking Aisha, because I look like a complete fool to pick the final apprentice of all time who's immoral enough to probe a 9-year-old with his light-saber!"?

 

Emperor Palpatine: [to Darth Vader on the phone, regarding the Death Star's destruction] Build another one? Oh yeah, that's real (*)(*)(*)(*)ing original! And who's gonna give me a loan, jackhole, you? You got an ATM in that torso Lite-Brite? Now get your 7-foot-2 asthmatic ass back here, or else I'll tell everyone what a whiney (*)(*)(*)(*)(*) you were about Padamamay or Panda Bear or whatever the hell her name is!
[pause, aside to senators]

Emperor Palpatine: Oh jeez, he's crying!
[goes back to phone]

Emperor Palpatine: Hey, hey, hey, come on don't do that, just... look, I'm just dealing with a lot of crap right now. Death star blown up by a bunch of (*)(*)(*)(*)ing teenagers, you know? I didn't mean to snap. Just get back here. Okay, okay, bye. I... ye... I... I love you too.

Robot Chicken: 1987 (#2.6)" (2006)

 

Does the Dark Side really have cookies?

 

You don't know the POWER...or pastries...of the Dark Side.