Culturally based pejoratives

Discussion in 'Human Rights' started by delade, Dec 12, 2017.

  1. delade

    delade Well-Known Member

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    A pejorative is a word or grammatical form expressing a negative connotation or a low opinion of someone or something, showing a lack of respect for someone or something.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pejorative


    Rather than allowing oneself to be identified in a pidgeon holing of a certain 'culture or race' why not first identify oneself with humanity.

    'You are a wop'.
    'You are a *****'.
    'You are a wet back'.
    'You are a trailor trash'.
    'You are a neo-fascist'.
    'Ya'll whites'.

    etc......

    Rather than taking the words, 'wop, *****, wet back, trailer trash, neo-fascist', on a personal individual level, why not take the idea of humanity on the personal individual level?

    It is difficult to take the statement, 'You are a human', in a wrong, belittling way.

    But it is easy to take the statement, 'You are a Neo-Fascist' in a wrong, belittling way.

    Discrimination to a certain particular 'human' is more grounds for civil suits than any so called discrimination to a particular 'group' of persons.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2017
  2. Renee

    Renee Well-Known Member

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    You left out the most widely used one...bitch!
     
  3. DoctorWho

    DoctorWho Well-Known Member

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    Which never originally referred to humans, it originally referred to Female Cannis Vulgaris, and the last time I pointed that out, you were not nice.

    I also mentioned Gay Men often refer to other Gay Men, using that word as an accolade and not a pejorative.
     
  4. Renee

    Renee Well-Known Member

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    Do you like the word ***? After all the definition is a cigarette or a tiresome task. When you call a person a bastard are you just saying that he is an illegitimate birth?
    Yes gay men often refer to other gay men as bitches and you don’t even realize that they are using the word to feminize men. Why do you suppose it’s gay men who use it? And once again if it is used by gay man is it OK went straight men call you a bitch?
     
  5. Renee

    Renee Well-Known Member

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    Interesting..I used the word f*g and it was filtered....but not the word bitch. Very telling and very sexist.
     
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  6. JohnConstantine

    JohnConstantine Active Member

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    Bitch -- particularly in the black community -- is often used as a term of endearment.

    Aside from that I suppose one could extricate oneself from all of the racial or identifiable differences with which society categorises. And this might bring some comfort. But it doesn't get around the fact that someone is at least trying to insult you.

    I agree generally in the sentiment though, sticks and stones, give a damn about a word. You'll have to do better to upset me. We live in a world of extremely thin skinned people which probably just hands more power to trolls than anything.
     
  7. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    OMG. no, it's not bloody sexist .. it's the correct gender term for female canines, ergo not filtered. jeez louise ....
     
  8. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    Which is entirely irrelevant to our personal take away. People who 'try to insult you' in general day to day life, are expressing their own failings and problems. It's no more your concern than is the argument they had with their partner over breakfast. You are a piece of furniture, upon which they exercise their personal frustrations. We should respond like a piece of furniture. As in, not at all.

    This is a really important thing to teach our kids, actually. Instill in them from a young age, in age-appropriate terms, that random people who insult/bully/belittle, are suffering from a deficit, and require nothing more of us than passing pity. If that.
     
  9. Renee

    Renee Well-Known Member

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    And *** is the correct word for cigarettes.. and it will be bleeped .f**
    You’re being disingenuous because you know it’s mainly used as a perjorative for women.
     
  10. Renee

    Renee Well-Known Member

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    I wrote a book for teachers and that is one thing I do not encourage because it is not helpful. Telling children sticks and stones will break my bones and that the bully is suffering from a deficit is not what the child needs to hear because those vacuous words. Rather acknowledge their feelings...
     
  11. Renee

    Renee Well-Known Member

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    Oh being called a bitch doesn’t upset me because it is a catchall perjorative....and we should see it that way and just realize it’s sexist. . What is hurtful is being called ugly, or fat, or stupid, or smelly because those are personal
    Just trying to do a little CR
     
  12. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    Acknowledging hurt feelings is one thing, teaching kids that the world is wronging them (just cause) is another. Unless you REALLY know what you're doing, it's very easy to cross that line. Best approach is acknowledge hurt feelings, but immediately move on to the importance of .. moving on, by actually moving on. There is a limit to the value of 'acknowledging feelings', and it's usefulness ends far earlier than many parents today recognise. Step over that line, and you've encumbered your child with the burden of self-pity and narcissism.

    We don't do nearly enough to teach our kids how to avoid the unproductive and unhealthy indulgence of 'feelings'. This is why so many teenagers in the west are troubled. They've been allowed to wallow, sometimes even encouraged to do so. Kids who are kept busy, and taught that "feelings are real, but not all of them should be indulged", are far less likely to be troubled.
     
  13. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    They hurt the sayer, not the hearer. If we don't truly understand that in our bones, we have been led astray. Momentary anger is a reasonable response to such things, but it should never be more than that.

    I feel more sadness, at the discovery that someone I previously liked is shown to be mentally unstable, when such things happen. If it's a stranger saying such things, it's actually kinda funny.
     
  14. Renee

    Renee Well-Known Member

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    Oh please, don’t oversimplify why kids are troubled.
    We always blame the generation that is. I remember my generation of drugs sex and rock ‘n’ roll being called that and blamed for all the ills in the world...you sound like my mother.
    ... we didn’t acknowledge feelings and yet we also were called use narcissistic etc.
    Poverty causes pain for kids, danger in the world causes pain for kids, etc
    Didn’t I share the best strategy from my book here? I don’t want to bore you with it twice
     
  15. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    With respect, if you think poverty and/or danger causes kids to be 'troubled', you have very limited knowledge of the subject matter. The great majority of people on the planet are impoverished, yet only some of their kids are troubled. Likewise, many very poor people live with danger, and again, not necessarily (or even commonly) producing troubled youth.

    Look at the demographics for 'troubled teens' worldwide, and you'll see that the majority are associated with the comparatively very rich western nations, where there is little danger. Once you understand and accept that (and you must accept it .. to do otherwise is merely wishful thinking), you are left with only one explanation. Poor parenting. And poor parenting includes the failure to keep kids focused, busy, and looking outward. It's indulging 'feelings', in the all too convenient belief that it's Compassionate to do so. It's the failure to understand that our kids are essentially simple social mammals, needing (useful) purpose. They are not 50 year old childless aristocrats with an interest in philosophy.

    PS: it is very simple, actually. parent well, and your kids will be okay. parent badly, and they won't.
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2018
  16. Renee

    Renee Well-Known Member

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    Sorry but I think I know a little bit about troubled kids having worked with them for 30 years I do not negate the importance of good parenting. I have had students with the greatest parents who were terrors and I had some of the best kids who had horrible parents. What is really an issue is when they become adolescents and it is their peers who have the greatest influence.
    By the way I do not accept your premise about generalizing about children all over the world. I think it is you who does not Understand the complexity. You seem to just oversimplify and use logic but you are lacking psychological insights
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2018
  17. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    I used the entirety of humanity for my source data. You seem to only have used a tiny sample (rich western kids). Your 'science' therefore, is woefully incomplete.

    Further, you failed utterly to grasp that if teens are 'terrors', then they are the evidence that their parents were nowhere near 'great'. The only way you can measure parenting quality is via outcome. This is blindingly obvious, but you avoided acknowledging it. I can only assume that's because you're not approaching this scientifically. You're approaching it emotionally.

    Meantime, peers will absolutely not have the 'greatest influence' when children are properly parented! Kids are only significantly influenced by peers when parents abdicate from close parenting too early. EG, as soon as their kids hit 13 or 14. If there is no committed, interested, and involved parent available at all times for companionship, advice, activities, and guidance, they will attempt to find that missing 'authority' amongst friends. It's a clear failure of parenting, if your teenagers are easily influenced.
     
  18. Renee

    Renee Well-Known Member

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    Something I stress in my book and my speeches, don’t underestimate peer pressure and overblame parents. No one is saying good parenting isn’t a vital part, it certainly is But I think you do not understand that sometimes what you call good parenting isn’t always good parenting.
    Very often these wonderful parents smother the children and are overprotective. I have seen too many parents not realize that they are putting up a wall blocking communication. I guess perhaps we just have different opinions about what good parenting is and I couldn’t agree with you more that it is vital
     
  19. DoctorWho

    DoctorWho Well-Known Member

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    From a very early age, 7 , other boys would call one a F@g, and a vicious beating soon followed.

    I never cared what anyone called me, as long as no violence was involved, sadly, the beatings and other abuse by those bullies continued until I learned how to defend myself and fight back.
    I always intended to be a pacifist, that did not work.
     
  20. Renee

    Renee Well-Known Member

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    How do you not care when people are deliberately hurting you? I wish My students had such great defense mechanisms. How awful to have experienced that abuse
     
  21. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    On the contrary, we don't blame parents nearly enough. If we did, we might see less kids let being failed.

    What I call good parenting is described ENTIRELY by its outcome. If your kid is failing, you have not been a good parent. If your kids do well, you have been a good parent. It's very simple.

    But if someone is considering children and wants advice, I would always say that involved, interested, committed, tireless, parenting is the only way to fly. And beyond hard work and dedication, that means being the best role model you could wish for them. Don't drink, smoke, do drugs, get divorced, gamble, become obese, be lazy, tell lies, be unkind, waste money, be unstable, fail to take their education seriously, have friends who do any of the above, or generally do or be anything you wouldn't want for your kids. Don't attempt to shape personality and tastes, that's not your business. Focus on character and substance, and let them flavour that how they will. From the day they're born, until they're adults. And don't drop the ball.
     
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2018
  22. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    By understanding that they are acting out their own pain.

    But in the case of kids who are in receipt of an unusual level of focused unkindness, there will almost always be something about them which invites it. Cruel or otherwise, at some point we have to accept the reality that some kids are misfits. We can't expect the world to not notice. The best thing we can do for such kids is to empower them via conformity and cooperation. Almost always, misfits are kids who've been let down by parents who indulged narcissism, or were simply incredibly lazy and didn't correct anti-social behaviours or attitudes.
     
  23. Renee

    Renee Well-Known Member

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    Kids making fun of others aren’t always in pain...sometimes it’s just peer pressure. I had a great strategy for my classroom..brilliant actually (and damnit ,it wasn’t mine and worse it was my husbands) :clapping:my classroom was a sanctuary and I had strategies how to do that. I have gotten more emails from my readers on just that.
    I wish you wouldn’t Oversimplify “misfits” that is something else I also stress. Don’t blame anyone Unless you know the background ...you are prejudging that child here....and forming a prejudice
     
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2018
  24. Renee

    Renee Well-Known Member

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    I wish we could all live in your utopia.....of course those are ideals that are positive.
     
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  25. DoctorWho

    DoctorWho Well-Known Member

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    When I was in Kindergarten, I could read and write and do 3rd grade level work because I wanted to learn and started early.

    I was treated as a freak because of that.
    And being a Teachers pet and best Grades, A+ was an invitation for abuse.

    I was called "Gay" and Fa"g" Homo and beaten bloody often.
     

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