For The Anti Homosexual Members

I accepted that framework because that was all there was. I was born in 1982, so in my youth I never saw anything else other than divorced families.

To me, I'm not even sure that framework was the proper term. That was just reality. It was eventual.

My feelings were seen at the time more of a kink in the works. Later confusion came in my teens when in tears having missed sleep for weeks I spoke to my parents or rather was confronted. They thought it was strange that I took no interest in girls. I told them I felt like I might be gay. And they told me it was most likely a phase. I had to really work hard to over come my shame to speak to them. So I didn't tell them that I had been feeling thus way for years. So a phase it was. After about two weeks of getting little or no sleep I was satisfied. I was seventeen. I told myself it was a phase and I'd grow out of it
until I was 27. I just couldn't deny it anymore.

As far as the urge, I never even acknowledged my urge. I was hoping that some beautiful woman would come along and the urges I had would melt away. That never happened. I even dated women, very pretty women.

 

OK so...It sounds to me like maybe you had (have) a genetic preference for same sex that may or may not have been influenced by your environment. (multiple divorces in the families you saw etc.) What do you think?

P.S. Your turn to ask me a question.

 

What harm does being gay cause in and of itself to others?

 

Every homosexual I have encountered that I got to know well, had trauma as a child.

 

Aside from religious compunctions, there is a secular problem with accepting bisexuals. Even if we assume that homosexuals have no choice that still leaves bisexuals. It would be unconscionable to not try and turn a bisexual away from homosexuality. Then there's the issue of fertility, the cost of hiring a surrogate mother can be incalculable and morally ambiguous at best, then you get into wet nursing issues since formula is not adequate for young children.

Also, I'm honestly disturbed that the mods here let a gay person with an underage boy for an avatar continue posting.

 

As far as divorced families, I found it hard to understand. I've seen very functional divorced families, where exes and current partners all get along, one of my best friends growing up lived in one such families. The family was really quite comforting, the boy I knew lived with his mom and step dad. Her ex husband, his parents and sister, her current husband and his parents and her parents all got together on thanksgiving and forth of July. They were very friendly. My friend called both his step dad and father dad.

And I thought that if people did get divorced this is how it should be. There just wasn't any bitterness. It was for the love of the children.

Yes you have had me really thinking about things I haven't though of in years.

How about you, what was it like growing up normally, dating in high school (assuming you did) were there ever things you felt you could tell nobody about as a child but find them trivial now?

How do you feel about the movement toward acceptance of homosexuality? Do you find it scary? Is it moving to fast,is it just plain wrong? Or do you really care that much?

If you could ask for one parlance from the gay activists what would it be?

 

You didn't harm any "harm" of adultery, though against I'm not defending it.

Actually, it's not that rare for a spouse of a heterosexual marriage to divorce deciding he/she actually is gay. Is that a harm? How is that less a harm than adultery?

 

Turn a bisexual away from homosexuality? You really don't realize how off and illogical your message are, do you? Sounds like a parent explaining to their adult child "it really would be better if you found someone of your own race to love and marry rather than your fiance'. Its not that I have anything against people of other races, I'm just thinking of what is best for you and then your children too."

This is essentially the slogan of bisexuals: "I fall in love with a person, not a gender." Bisexuals do marry monogamously, the same as a person may be attracted to blondes and brunettes, but will be faithful to whichever he/she marries. Love takes a bisexual the way love takes that person, the way love takes anyone else.

 

How many homosexuals do you know well enough to know of their childhood? Even if so, how does that change anything? A person is who the person is, however they got there. Trauma definitely can affect a person permanently and deeply, including in terms of relationships, sexuality and gender topics.

 

That's rather vague. I'm willing to bet everybody has had trauma as a child to some degree.

 

Dad and mom living apart and/or not sleeping in the same bed has to have a massive affect on the children. I think we adults tend to minimize how our actions affect our children. I would think that a divorce would have a massive effect on the children. Everything from questioning the validity of marriage to feeling abandoned by both mom and dad. The consequences on developing human brains are IMO enormous. Remember, all we know about family interaction comes from our upbringing. Our experiences, etc. That's our basis for personally defining what a relationship/family is.

I never dated in high school. I had a low opinion of myself because I was teased about how skinny and tall I was yet, our family life was good, I had a lot of cousins and good neighborhood friends. Our family unit was strong but my mother died of breast cancer when I was 12 going on 13. Our family was in shambles after that. At no point did I ever think of homosexuality however.

I have had homosexual friends in my life. I always have accepted them as individuals not considering their sexual leanings until.....One friend of mine propositioned me. At that time he was older (40 or so) and his partner left him. He was very depressed. I told him that I was flattered but that I preferred women...In fact, I was married with two children. We had a glass of wine together but that was it. He was a very nice highly intellectual man that was a seminary graduate....(he did not become a priest) and I felt sorry for him. No I do not find homosexuality wrong...it's just 'wrong' for me.

Not sure what you mean by parlance (having to do with speech)...Ummm...Maybe bury the term 'homophope?'

 

Divorce is foreign to me. I only ever witnessed it. Though my fiend who's family divorced has been with the same woman and has three children of their own.

Wow, I never dealt with anything that horrible as a youth. I'm sorry you lost your mom so early. I'm sorry it shook your family so hard.

Wrong for me. Excellent words.

I'm not a fan if the word "homophobic." It seems to be used a lot to shut down discussion. Much like calling people racist or misogynist.

Losing your mother as a young teen. My God that's horrible. I know it was devastating I lost my grandmother to lymphoma. My sister in law has brain cancer.

Did you have any siblings?

 

I have an older sister. My grandmother committed suicide after my mother died. I used to pick her up at the old folks home every weekend to come home for the weekend. She decided to move to an apartment. I picked her up there too. She asked me one day if it was a chore to pick her up (she was wheelchiar bound and in constant pain from arthritis) and I said well maybe (I was 16 or 17) sometimes but It didn't matter because I loved her. A week later she was dead. She wrote a suicide note to me. I guess my point is..all this time I NEVER considered homosexuality. I am starting to think there is a definite genetic link because it seems we have both had crappy things happen yet our sexual urges are diametrically opposed.

 

Yeah, I doubt you did. I wasn't faced with those things.

Well I suppose there could be a genetic link.

Feel free to post more questions. I must call it a night.

I will answer in the morning.

 

The worse that happens to others (and to the gay person), are the 'effects' of not being able to be oneself (due to a society which foolishly and inhumanely seeks to marginalize anything/anyone "homosexual" or "different". I mention 'different', because that type of rejection happens to MANY people, not solely 'gay' people; but gays have experienced treatment as terrible as any for centuries. Minorities, immigrants, unbelievers, non-Christians and even those unattractive in appearance and the mentally-challenged... have in varying degrees experienced 'rejection'. And the neuroses which stem from living with the same... generates harmful effects that likely will harm many, even in undetected ways (troubles relationships and suicides of those struggling, being one of the worst possible things).

To be clear, not that 'being' gay causes mental problems or that it is caused per se by mental problems, but that not being 'accepted' for who one truly is, leads to many problems that are largely unnecessary; and that is the immoral tragedy of the cruelty that homosexuals (and others who are 'different') endure on a regular basis.

 

Well, that isn't what I've seen. I know gay people that had happy lives and heterosexuals with overwhelmingly tragic childhoods.

Your experiences may say something about the conditions of many in the individuals and area(s) in which you lived... but there is no substantial scientific evidence to suggest that what you are submitting is some major cause of 'homosexuality' itself.

 

Nonsense! Really, what you're saying is unconscionable; even foolish. And especially with you expressing that notion... as if it would not cause a person mental damage in/of itself. Really, as long as that "bi-sexual" person is good to others and living a healthy and safe lifestyles (to include good relationships), what is so "unconscionable" about allowing that?

You have ZERO idea how to "turn" someone's sexual-orientation, yet you go off into the foolishness of attempting to do so. No wonder so many gay people have ended of skating the edge of 'insanity', in the years gone by.

 

Actually, seeing so many people get divorced because someone in the relationship was surely sexually incompatible in that relationship has always been a tragedy. And part of what has led to so MANY gay people PRETENDING to be 'straight' in relationships, is likely that stupid/unnecessary pressure for them to conform to traditions and norms, which they in no way they could even properly fulfill.

Really, if you aren't sexually turned-on to a partner/mate you're SUPPOSED to be attracted to in that way, how could that promote a healthy and proper relationship? How could a marriage like that NOT unravel (especially after the kids have grown up)?? I've been to a "gay" bar about 2 times in my nearly 60 years of life... and interestingly enough, on each visit, I overheard two different discussions (two sets of men) discussing their EX-WIVES. I began to add things up and do research over time. Truly, men/women living on the "down-low"... is a serious problem for MANY reasons, and this society has fostered it... largely by its rejection of LGBT individuals.

 

Why don't the forum homosexuals, and it seems there are a lot, tell us if they had trauma.

 

Then you discuss women with families who run off to be with some woman.

I only know what the husband told me the day I appraised his home, but per him, he had no idea she could spin off course. That they successfully raised a family and she decided once they grew up, she would return for her higher degree. A masters comes to mind. But at the distant UCLA (350 miles south) she took up with a female faculty member and told her husband of many years she was divorcing him. My task was to appraise the home to satisfy the divorce requirements and of course I did not follow up. The anguish on the husband was easy to see.

 

I believe the brain of all humans is correctly wired from birth. But the younger you are, the easier it is for a trauma to totally change your way of life.

I have examples but feel that if you won't listen, as most do not listen, they won't accept a thing I say.

I feel that there was a period of time over which the brain decided it wanted no part of being the same gender.

A male homosexual is attracted to the male that accepts the submissive role if male 1 is the type a type. That the type A does not match the type A homosexual. Anyway, I hold no degree on psychiatry and freely admit it. My one semester in college on this topic is not really of that much help.

I feel sorry for homosexuals. I got called a homophobe and by one other homosexual, a latent homosexual. Not true at all. All it is for me is I feel bad they can't enjoy the joys I have enjoyed as a dad and husband.

My wiring is that were a homosexual approach me, I am repulsed.

 

Adulatory can cause psychological harm, being gay in and of itself causes others no harm to others in any way shape or form. A gay person who leaves a straight marriage was likely in the marriage in an attempt to conform to social norms so I would say it is the peerpressure to conform that caused the harm.

 

I don't. Try again.

 

LOL, what? That's not how it works.

 

All the 'heterosplaining' that goes on around here would be hilarious if it weren't so infuriating.

Hint: Your heterosexual orientation doesn't make you smarter, wiser, or more knowledgeable than a gay person - especially about ANYTHING related to being gay. So the next time one of you is tempted to open your mouth/type something about it, please - just don't. We don't need you to explain it to us, and the frequency with which the lies and misinformation is repeated has long ago removed any entertainment factor for us. Just stop already.