How Not to React when Your Son Tells You that He's Gay

You have an obvious homophobic attitude. Dismissing how damaging being closeted is, wanting gay people to hide their orientation, etc.

And Tram Law, it's no different than how racism is no longer acceptable. But when have you ever stood up for racists? Don't they also get ostracized for their bigotry?

 

You're exactly right in what you say, CausalityBreakdown. In order to understand this better one need go no further than to the plight Black people had to go through in the Fifties in order to gain their civil and human rights. How much longer were they going to have to wait in order to be served or to buy food in a White restaurant? How much longer were they going to have to wait to drink in the same water fountain as Whites drank from? How much longer were they going to have to wait being denied the right to vote without a Poll Tax? Rosa Parks refused to acquiesce to White demands to go to the back of the bus and thus, a Civil Rights Movement was created.

In news stories, Coretta Scott King, the late wife of the late Dr. Martin Luther King, was very supportive of the fight for Gay Rights just as that for the civil rights of Black people in this country. But if there isn't a push for LGBT rights by those directly concerned, how much longer will they too have to wait, being denied jobs because they're Gay? How much longer will they have to wait, being denied living quarters because they're Gay? How much longer will they have to wait, being denied marriage rights to marry whom they love and be happy? And how much longer will they have to wait, being denied playing in Major Sports Games because of who they are and whom they love in order to put an end to such despicable and outrageous discrimination?

So, you're entirely correct that without a serious push for Equal Rights there will be none as no one will give you anything you don't work for. And we have to realize that LGBT citizens are citizens of this country too who Work, Pay Their Taxes just like every other citizen, Go to Church to Worship, Have or Adopt Children to Be Members of Their Family. And let's not forget that Gays and Lesbians spend a significant amount of money in this country that contributes to the overall economy. And Gay American Servicemen are contributing their hard work and talents to the benefit of this country and even fighting oversees and losing their lives all due to their love of this country and their sincere efforts to help protect it.

Anyone with the least bit of sense should be very cognizant of these things and stop denying them the right to Equality, something they are fully entitled to under the Fourteenth Amendment to the Constitution. Federal Courts are also striking down Gay marriage bans in the states that have them, 20 Courts to date, and will continue doing so because they see that prejudice and discrimination of Gay and Lesbian citizens is not the way to go in this country any longer thus, even more courts will continue to rule against Gay marriage bans and in favor of two people of the same sex to be able to marry and enjoy the very same things their Heterosexual counterparts currently enjoy and have.That's the way to go and intolerance must come to an end just as the Civil Rights Act of 1964 effectively put a stop to discrimination against Black citizens and the marginalization of them. Gays should tolerate nothing less and must continue the fight for Equal Rights as fine citizens of this country.

 

I never said any of those things. What I've said was that nobody cares what you do as long as you're an adult living under your own roof. If you live with mommy & daddy & grandma who YOU KNOW object to homosexuality... stay in the closet until you're able to move out on your own. Expecting people to support you financially while objecting to your behavior is rather juvenile. If you can't stand on your own two feet, keep your mouth shut until you can.

And if you call me homophobic again, you'll go on ignore. You obviously signed up on this forum for the sole purpose of posting on this thread. Just remember what I said about obsession.

 

And I'm a Vermiscious K'nid. Just about every statement you've ever made in the forum is disrespectful, whether it's about gay people or some other group. No one should be fooled into thinking that you're the least bit interested in having a respectful discussion. Your sole purpose for coming here seems to be to provoke confrontation.

Heck, it's right in your user name: Smartmouthwoman. It's entirely what you're about. You may be slightly more clever than the average troll, but you're still a troll.

And yes, you are homophobic in my judgment, so feel free to ignore me. Make my day.

 

If you really believe that crap, than there's really no hope of us having any sort of reasonable discussion. There is no point in us bothering with the delusional.

 

Would you care to give some examples of my homophobic remarks? As opposed to your personal attacks, I've said nothing that denotes hatred of gays.

No hurry... waiting for gay men to prove their lies about me is getting to be a hobby.

 

You'd be surprised how much bigotry of all sorts I HAVE denounced.

You see, to me, a person has a right to their beliefs, even if it's something like racism. And I believe they have the right to express it.

Personally, I'd much rather have things straightforward so I know who I can and can't trust or deal with. If it's something I don't like I just turn the channel or turn the radio off. Or I put in ear plugs.

And I really don't see any difference between them and you guys. They told people to shut up for centuries, now you're telling people to shut up. They ostracize you, you ostracize them. When does it all stop? Tit for tat only creates a never ending circular argument when if you get hurt you must hurt back throughout all eternity. How are you really any different than them? The answer is you are not. Oh, you've blinded yourselves to the fact and you pat yourself on the back and hide your actions so you don't have to face these things and know how abd you really are, but all in all, you're really not any different than them and you just do the same damned thing over and over and over again.

You see, my ideal society is a society like what you see in Star Trek, in which people have learned to live with each other and don't focus on these petty bigotries and prejudices and stop trying to correct people.

It may sound corny, but that's my ideal society.

 

Nice clip, it's proof that there is no god.
Because if your were an all powerful God, why would you have all the (*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)s on your team?

 

That's funny, you say your ideal world is Star Trek, but in reality what you're describing is letting people harm others they don't like. In your ideal world, this family would not have disowned their son, would they?

There is difference of opinion, and then there are situations like this. Two very different things.

 

Well for starters, you've misrepresented this entire situation with this kid. First, you claimed the video was fake. When that turned out to be untrue, then you claimed the only reason this kid took video of this situation was to embarrass his family, when in actuality he was trying to protect himself from anything that might happen during this "intervention" his family was planning. The you call all gay people "drama queens" and try to make us all out to be just like your brother and his friends (who, by the way, sound like a bunch of serious ***holes). You tried to use your experience with them to paint all gay people with the same brush. You also lied about gay men not talking to younger people about AIDS, clearly also not true.

Basically you've done nothing but lie since you got here. You may not hate us, but you sure as hell don't like us. That much is quite clear.

 

First you claimed I said something you had to take back and now you pretend to know how I feel about my brother and his friends who died of AIDS.

Thing is, I don't coddle gays because I don't think you guys are 'special'. Take the video for example... I asked why the gay man's feelings are more important than his family's feelings and never got an answer. I never said stay in the closet forever... thats a lie. I said get out on your own and THEN you can live however you want.

Just because I think most gay men are self-absorbed to the exclusion of everybody else's feelings doesn't mean I hate gays. It means I can see both sides. Lord knows you can't say that. It's either love or hate to you guys and unfortunately, the world doesn't work that way.

So go ahead and hate me for not pandering to gays if that's what you want to do. Doesnt change a thing.

I'm not now nor have I ever been homophobic. But I don't think you deserve special consideration just because you're gay. Other people's feelings count too. Even mine.

 

Still waiting, Perriquine. What's taking so long?

 

Do you even care that this young man was assaulted by his own family? If you've been paying any attention you know that he was called to an intervention by the family. He trusted his stepmother enough to come out to her and then she did this to him.

And thinking most gay men are self-absorbed is homophobic. You're stereotyping them and basing your prejudices on that.

I don't hate you, I'm just annoyed by your attitude and your general lack of sensitivity.

 

medical proof please

and because "you say so, or believe it" is not medical proof

 

The most reasonable assumption is that it's inborn, because nobody would choose to be part of an oppressed minority. It flies in the face of logic to the extent that it just wouldn't happen more than once or twice every few decades.

I mean, could you choose to be gay? Why don't you become gay for an hour or two just to see what it's like? When did you choose to be straight?

 

oppressed minority, now that's funny

why do people become alcoholics, smokers or gamblers?

Many bad habits become addictive and it appears that homosexual sex falls into that category as well

 

And WHITES fit into all of those categories... So what is you point?

You are only capable to dicern minority "problems" but are ignorant to whites' having every one of the "problems" you only see in others?

 

You don't use reasonable assumptions when it comes to proof and hard evidence.

you base your conclusion on what the proof and hard evidence says, not on what you want to or don't want to believe, and certainly not on personal prejudices.

 

You're the one making the claim. Prove it's a choice.

- - - Updated - - -

Based on what evidence?

 

Except many queer people know they're queer long before sex becomes one of their concerns. Such as Yukio Mishima, a gay poet and novelist. He knew he was different as a young boy, and tried to become straight to no avail.

And you don't seem to realize that being queer isn't just about sex. There's many healthy and loving same sex couples. It's no less about love than heterosexuality is. But please, tell me all about how my innocent crush on another boy at 8 years old was a result of my depraved addiction to the gay sex that I chose to enjoy. Please tell me about how my lifestyle choices are eroding the moral fabric of society. Go on.

In addition, gay sex isn't a bad habit. Promiscuous queer men are at higher risk of HIV, but we know from a statistic posted earlier in this thread that 85% of gay and bi men aren't any more promiscuous than the same percentage of straights. Plus, gay women are actually at lower risk of HIV.

And another thing: Has anyone noticed that with homophobes, gay people are always "Homosexuals"? Never gay, never queer, never even any name that has the word "people" in it. It's as if it's an effort to dehumanize queer people.

 

I didn't say anything about the closet. Nor did I say we were special. Two lies I caught you in right there.

You're a real piece of work, lady. I don't hate you, I pity you.

 

homosexual is the correct term just like heterosexual

 

No comment on anything else I said?

 

You didn't accuse me of saying stay in the closet... that was someone else. When one's being attacked by a pack of gay men, it's hard to tell everybody apart.

I went back and listened to the vid carefully. I was wrong about who started it and you were wrong about it being an intervention. This confrontation was in response to a earlier exchg Daniel had with his father, including some nasty comments the son supposedly made on FB about his dad. The grandmother is the one who initiated the discussion because obviously Daniel lived with her. Toward the end, he asks his stepmother if he can live in her basement and she said no. He accuses her of turning on him when she makes it clear she won't provide financial support for someone whose lifestyle she disagrees with. Just like I said earlier.

It was his grandmother who attacked him. The grown man out stayed his welcome in her home. When you get beat up by your grandmother, you oughta take a good long look at yourself. Something is seriously wrong.

 

I'll give you this much: anyone who thinks what you posted is even tangentially relevant to anything I said is most likely under the influence of an intoxicant far more powerful than alcohol - barring, of course, the possibility of psychosis.

That being a relative term, all I need do is point out that you clearly don't understand the first thing about it.

I never said anything like that, obviously.

Not "gays", you.

No, what you want is for people to see perversion as an aspect of humanity, just as O'Brien wanted Winston Smith to see five fingers where there were only four in sight - a state of mind which is essentially living death.