Personally, I am not much of a drinker, I will partake as little as possible and still be sociable. I don't really feel comfortable around inebriated people. I prefer to be around my family sober. My extended family, including my older kids and ex wife, seems get their buzz on earlier and earlier at get togethers. This year at our family Xmas, the rum, gin and vodka came out at 2: oo pm. Folks were louder, and more obnoxious before they even had dinner, let alone the gift exchange. I just kept disappearing periodically and returning. I am rude when I am gone, but uncomfortable there. How do I navigate this so that everyone is happy if they want to be drunk, when I want them to be sober. They really want me to be happy and enjoy myself. Does anybody here 'get' this problem?
Half of my extended family is Mennonite and Baha'i' and never drink. The other half are Irish Catholic and they start drinking at about 10AM and are stupid drunk around noon. In the past, the sober ones were left to be designated drivers, cleaning up messes, behave as referees and try to diffuse alcohol fueled drama. Eventually the sober ones decided enough was enough and we stick around until someone is out of control (usually between noon and 1PM) and we get up en-masse and go to another nearby family member's house which has already been set up and we finish the Christmas get together at another location. It works out pretty well except for the one time when an aunt tried to drive home drunk and hit a telephone pole. She had broken bones and a bit of a gash, but wasn't in danger of dying. The downed power pole shut down electricity at the party site which started getting cold and drunk people were wanting to go home while still pretty drunk. The drunk party tried to blame the sober ones for causing the wreck because we weren't there to drive them home. You can't win. Just give up.
Honesty is the best policy. If they "Really" want you to be happy then just say "I'm sorry everyone, but this is getting a bit to liquidated and I am uncomfortable....Love you folks and I hope you have a great time".....then leave. Next time they will tamp it down most likely.
I would hope this is true. There are some people who this will not effect in the least. Maybe they love alcohol more than they love their family. Sad but true.
My hope is to convince them just to stall off most of the booze until the major festivities are over, so we can be polite guests through the gift giving, and they can get soused while we get in our cars or disappear.
~ Interesting delima - but sad as well. I too avoid the "boozers" as I find them quiet unpleasant and certainly do not want to end up being a babysitter/designated driver. Yes best to be honest. However if you feel uncomfortable and afraid of hurt feelings perhaps working on the holiday will give you reason to be absent ? If you feel bold enough to lie you could tell everyone : A) You cannot attend due to volunteer hosting an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting; B) You are hungover from the office party; C) Your drivers license has been suspended due to DUI. Maybe they will get the message ...
Fortunately, it's been a long time since I've had to deal with this at the holidays. The closest family member is about 750 miles away, and they aren't drinkers for the most part. My holiday issues come from friends, who know I don't drink (health/medication issues) but feel like I should be the permanent DD since I'm always sober. I've learned to show my face at events, and quietly exit about an hour before anyone gets so polluted as to need propping in the corner. I'm sure eventually I'll be struck by a bolt of lightening for fibbing, but I let them think my health issues is what drives me out early. They are adults. They are responsible for their actions. While I have ante'ed up for the taxi/Uber pot at some of these events, I do it because I'd rather not see friends, family or other people in the obits. Remove yourself as needed. Loving a bunch of people does not mean you have to tolerate their behavior for extended periods of time.
How to handle the boozers at holidays. - allude to the notion that they can't handle shots of Bacardi 151... conked out on the sofa for the duration of the evening... (I'm kidding of course y'all)
