Maintaining relationships with crazy people

Everyone has some mental "tic", an obsession, hangup, complex, delusion, or baseless fear, but some people have such a cluster of these symptoms that they qualify as mentally ill. At least two of my friends, from two different worlds, would satisfy any shrink that they are mentally ill because of the depth of their obsessions and delusions and how they have negatively affected their social and professional lives. One I have already cut ties with, and my warning bells are telling me to move on from the other one.

I feel guilty about this, because I know that they need friends like everyone else. But to maintain relationships with crazy people, you have to either indulge their delusions ("Yes, the [name a group] really do control the world!") or just nod along and change the subject. But how do you maintain a friendship when you can't freely exchange ideas?

So, do you have any crazy friends or family members? I don't mean peculiar. I mean crazy. How do you talk to them without giving offense or making yourself crazy in the process? And what hope is there for them?

 

Let's be clear here. People believing things you don't believe does not make them (or you) crazy. The vast majority of humans believe in a god and gods are patently BS, so it's no measure at all.

The dull reality is that 'crazy' is better measured by ordinary dysfunction. You know that friend/relative who believes the same things you believe, but has been married three times, has troubled relationships with their adult children, can't seem to manage money, drinks too much, and has frequent personal dramas? They're the crazy ones.

Edited to add that when someone is thusly crazy, you cannot sacrifice your own health and sanity to keep supporting them through the fallout of their monstrously unstable life. Unless they're actively demonstrating an improvement in behaviour, you have to shun them. Life is short, and we need to preserve all our energy and empathy for the inevitable suffering of those around us. Illnesses, accidents, deaths, etc.

 

I am considered crazy by my family so they don't talk to me. My doctor things I am so put me on meds and a shrink diagnosed me with multiple conditions but I feel fine.

Just talk crazy with them.

 

I appreciate your feedback. If the inability to manage money, marriages, and alcohol stems from a break with reality as most people define the term, then these people you describe may indeed qualify as crazy, yes, but they also may just be undisciplined, immature, have disordered priorities, or be selfish. We can reason with them, and they may even agree that they are screwups and, most importantly, be aware of it as they are engaging in anti-social behavior and have the capacity to regret it. We agree, I am sure, that there are mentally ill people who cannot do that, or they can do it sometimes but are gradually losing the ability over time.

I'll say borderline, or psychotic, or schizophrenic if that helps clarify my conception of crazy. But the dilemma is not how to label it; the dilemma is whether to sever the relationship for our own good and thereby hurt their feelings, maybe even crush them. There's a moral choice involved. It's hard for me when the person has been a friend but seeks to drag me down into their own pit.

 

~ Stay away from crazy people - unless you enjoy them. Crazy folks tend to find themselves with others who are the same - just like everyone else.

 

Thanks for your candor. I've had exchanges with you before and you don't strike me as crazy. As for your meds ... can I have some?

 

And we are normal just not in all ways. We are still human and every person on the planet has issues.

 

I know you are right; it just makes me a little sad. Mentally ill people cannot benefit from abandonment.

 

I have one friend who is a wet brain drunk who also gets a haladol injection once a month, and he cant shut up more than 10 seconds and babbles about BS.

When he irritates my wife too badly, (usually within the hour of his arrival) I boot him out of the house.

 

I drove a car off a cliff to see what it would be like, that's why I had to visit a shrink.

 

I told you you wren't crazy.

 

LOL. You're a good soul to keep the door open to him.

 

You constantly surprise me, in a good way.

 

~ They should not. Self isolation is bad - abandonment is worse. Sometimes the "average " person cannot deal with certain dysfunctional personality types and it's best not to try. We all have to fit where we do the most good.

 

~ I would only think you were "crazy" if you did this wearing a parachute. Otherwise sounds like immature risk taking to me.

~ Ha ! Yeah I like Spooky too.

 

He also is deemed incompetant to handle his own $. He is special, when I met him ten years ago he was riding a bicycle on bare, metal rims. Told me aluminum rims last about 100 miles, steel last much longer!

His brother (who was also special) died a few months back, he was very drunk and stepped in front of a car. I care for him but when I tell him it's time to go, I have to be firm. I wont let anyone take our peace. If he could simply be quiet for more than a few minutes, he would not wear out his welcome so fast. But he just can't "get" that.

 

Nope, just wanted to see what it was like. I used to pass that spot on the mountain every day and would always wonder what would happen if I kept going straight and the next thing I knew is I was saying, well here we go.

 

~ If you run for president I will help your campaign .

 

Awesome!

 

If you don't mind talking more about this, did you say "Uh oh" when the car went airborne?

I know guys (exclusively males -- think Jackass) who would do this kind of thing for the thrill of it. They are crazy in one sense, but they know they are doing crazy things as they do it, so they are not psychotic.

 

~ Hey - crazy is the new normal .

 

Nope didn't panic me at all, that's one of my issues is zero fear of anything. The actual cliff part was only about 20 feet the rest was down the side of the mountain.

I remember falling and it was surreal, almost felt good and I noticed a bird fly by for some reason, very peaceful. Then when I hit it was the loudest thing I ever heard and it was like the exploded from the outside in. I saw the metal scrunch up and the glass fly then I went unconscious. They said I rolled/slid another 500 feet or so. Woke up in the hospital. I needed some facial reconstruction because apparently I tried to eat the steering wheel and knocked out most teeth but that was done while I was asleep.

Court made me go to a shrink.

 

Interesting perspective on hard bike wheels.

 

Lots of our friends have been mad. Still have a manic depressive friend who rings me to remind me about my blood pressure medication.
He has given me some interesting insights into mental health.

 

Well, you wont get any flats, except on your poor ass and traction might be tricky! lol