With the amassing of political and economic power over the past fifty years, women [thinking that being "independent" is the end-all and be-all of modern life] are essentially treating men as a disposable commodity. His job is to provide entertainment, income, genetic material, if applicable, and know-how so she can build her life around what her priorities are...herself. I am sure this accounts for the fact that over 80% of all divorces in the U.S. are initiated by women. Once she has procured [from him] what she desires, she will cast him off and either have enough income to go it alone [a total disaster, especially if she has children] or search for the next man who can up his game to her new and lofty expectations [because, of course, she wants it all]. Is it a wonder that more and more young men are opting out of this predatory game that most likely will go south for him [sooner than later]? I am coming down the home stretch in my own life, but if I had to do it again, there is no way I would be looking to become involved with women. It's just not worth it. The saying used to go..."Women, you can't live with them, you can't live without them." Not anymore. Today it's..."Women: associate with at your own risk." You win, women. Enjoy your cat!
Bingo! Yes, he served his purpose. After almost blowing my brains out, I chose another route. What you are saying is that marriage doesn't work for men. But that doesn't mean we can't enjoy the company of a beautiful young woman. So that's what I've been doing for a decade now. And I've had some of the most amazing nights of my life since. It isn't a perfect life but I'm not holding a gun to my head. I finally posted a few photos after 6 years - last page. http://www.politicalforum.com/index.php?threads/my-second-life-and-other-secrets.485891/ Oh yes, I tried to live without sex. I went for ten years without sex while married. But slowly that sucked the life out of me. And that is where my story begins.
It's much harder to find and keep a partner when one doesn't have a sense of humor. I know you won't see this since I'm blocked but just in case you are still whining about the same thing in six months or longer...you might revisit this thread and sort things out. Good luck with all that.
I'd settle for the 18-20 years it takes to raise a couple kids. After that she can have half my stuff if she wants, as theres not much need for it after the kids are raised anyway. I'll take a long vacation in my truck or go hike the appalachian trail or go pan for gold in nowhere Canada or something. Tho I suspect this very lack of a need for emotional codependency is probably one of the primary drivers keeping me single and without progeny.
Here's another tidbit. Women who are married with children [on the whole] have two overwhelming priorities, the first being their children [as it should be], but secondly, it is the family she grew-up with that will almost always take precedence over her husband [and this is a horrible mistake, IMO]. Again, in many ways, the woman wants it all...she wants her family [her kids and husband] and still desires to be an active adult child in the family she grew-up in. Meanwhile, the husband is once again relegated to enabler-status, making sure that everything runs smoothly [or poorly if he's not so good at being a guy] while she is attempting to have her cake and eat it too. This sucks for the guy and will not end well.
One final note...on the strategy of younger women to weaponize sex. This is one of those things that absolutely proves the existence of karma because as guys get older they just don't have the physical/biological urgency/need to have sex at anywhere near the frequency of their youth [for all kinds of reasons]. OTOH, many women seem to really enjoy sex as they mature past 50 or so [again, for all kinds of reasons]. Justice.
So now women are finally beginning to gain the power and resources to do so, some of them are treating men exactly the same way women have been treated for literally thousands of years? But the problem is just women? No, I see no surprise that people who view this whole thing as just a game will thrown a tantrum and quit if they think the rules have changed so they don't have massive advantages any more. The reality is that loads of men and women have always and will continue to engage in happy, equitable and equally beneficial long-term relationships. If you've not been able to do so, maybe the problem isn't entirely due to society, politics or all women? If you want to date other men, just date other men. You don't have to justify yourself to anyone.
I went that long while my first wife was dying COPD lasts forever, I took care of her, was rewarded and I am remarried to the kindest woman in the world
The problem is that the family has been destroyed on many levels. Or haven't you noticed? Life has been exceedingly difficult for EVERYBODY up until just several few decades ago. Look at the life of a 19th century man and tell me how advantageous he had it. Thank you for speaking for reality but this appears to be a society-wide issue. Anybody who has been in any kind of failed relationship knows there is plenty of blame to go around. But [of course] you wouldn't know anything about this [apparently]. I don't know, but it's probably not the best time to be tossing homophobic jokes around.
There are many incredibly nice women out there and I have known quite a few. The issue is that the main emphasis of the overall women's movement has not been beneficial to society on most levels. And btw, doing the right thing is ALWAYS the right thing!
That is a big statement and I'm not sure it's clearly directly related to you OP complaint. Family structures have always been varied and have always shifted and changed over the generations. Unless the only definition of family you accept is working man, housewife and 2.4 children. Advantageous over 19th Century women in pretty much all areas, certainly in the area of personal freedoms and self-determination. Regardless, you're perceiving recent societal changes as disadvantaging men and your way to address that is for all men to simply give up on the entire thing. I don't think these changes, even where they have potentially negative aspects, are so disastrous as to justify or require such an extreme response. We just need to work with relationships in slightly different ways to how people in the recent past did (which is different again to how people in the distant past did). I do and that is the point I made. Blaming the collapse of relationships on these general social shifts is grossly over-simplistic at best. There is demonstrably nothing about the opportunities women have today or the way modern relationships tend to form and develop which prevents them from being strong, successful and long-lived. It isn't a homophobic joke, it is a joke at the expense of the homophobic. Pointing out that there is nothing wrong with same-sex relationships is the opposite.
It was, and I worked but 1st wife never got paid but raised 3 children, my new wife is a nurse and very caring, not a libber
Hasn't this been the case with men forever. If nothing else society has glorified men who use to behave this way. Hugh Hefner's entire lifestyle revolved around the idea that women were a disposable commodity. He lived in his big mansion, surrounded in luxury and had a constantly rotating harem of women. We have unlimited examples through out history of men that amassed political and economic power and went through woman like playthings and for the large part society exalted them. Kings and nobles treated women as breeding stock either divorcing them or even executing them if they could not produce heirs. Once they did they often abandoned them to look after the children and moved on to younger mistresses. Maybe women just got jealous of what they saw throughout history and now they finally have a chance to enjoy the same benefits.
The point is that it's NOT working. This should be clear to everybody at this point. I am not telling anybody to do anything. Men are making these decisions on their own. It's a matter of priority. You want to make happiness the goal of adult life, keep going down the same path. Not only will you not not be happy, but your society will be a total basket-case. Look at what's going on out there. It's a mess. Single parent households have been a complete catastrophe. I could care less who you make fun of, but I would be careful if I were you.
I am not sure too many people took Hugh Hefner very seriously. Perhaps it's time to move on from the retribution strategy. There is no doubt that men took advantage of women for a long time, but I am not sure it was to the degree that the woman's movement has suggested. Whatever it was, what's best is to fix the situation and find the best balance for all concerned. Kids have been kicked to the curb in this society. Incredibly weak parenting has seen a couple of generations of kids who [a significant percentage] are incredibly dys-functional. It is well understood that the best you can do for your children is to get your own act together and parent like you actually care about your children. Handing them over to a cell phone [predatory corporations] for upbringing has been one of the greatest parenting mistakes of all-time.
Hugh Hefner was before my time but I have watched documentaries and he was considered a cultural icon of his time. Men wanted to be like him. His lifestyle is what serves as a basis for the current Hip Hop culture of parties, bling, cars, women and excess. Everyone wants to be a player like Hef. Hefner has definitely left his mark on society. I think the problem is that you are viewing it as a retribution strategy from woman rather they may view it as they want the opportunity to enjoy the same lifestyle as men do. It is not like they have taken the lead from men on this. If you take a look at cheating in marriage men still have affairs way more than woman do. The gap may be closing but men still lead. Also society still accepts it much more when men remain single and date a huge number of women compare to a negative stereo type when women engage in the same behavior. It does seem unfair that you are putting the onus on women to fix this and consider the children where as you can just as easily point to the men. Maybe the best strategy is to tell the men to step up and play more of a roll in child rearing. To be honest I think if you look at modern families men are playing much bigger roles than they did a generation ago, however, gender stereotypes and roles still exist in the home.
The guy was kind of a dufus. I am not sure too many men wanted to be like him, only to fantasize what it would be like to have access to what he did. I am sure the vast majority would find that such a lifestyle would get old really quick. I believe it would be similar to fantasizing about being James Bond or some similar character. Hollywood is pretty good at selling the fizz. If 1000 men are having affairs at any particular time, who are they having them with...only 500 women? It takes two to tango! Men and women are different. They do all kinds of things differently for all kinds of different reasons [and thank God for that!]. If you think it out and assume the proper context, I believe you will find that many things that happened, happened for reasons that were appropriate at the time. Mothers are more important then father in child rearing. This doesn't mean that men are not critically important, but if the mom's not on board, there is BIG trouble. Again, the family is in massive disarray. Many parents have seemingly given with the complete support of society. Today's kids walk around like zombies staring at their cell phones and nobody really seems to care. What exactly is going to have to happen before somebody gives a sh*t?
When a woman ceases being dependent upon a man, there is a huge difference in the man. He is no longer 'in charge'. So while women are the ones initiating the divorces, it could well be because their husbands couldn't handle a wife who has a life of her own.
But that is my point. The virile, manly man who had lots of woman has always be portrayed favorably in society. It has only been recent where woman have been portrayed this way and there is still lot of backlash for it. Usually the cheating designation only applies to the person in a committed relationship. So if the man is having an affair with a single woman he is cheating and she is dating. The single woman has made no commitment to the wife. I guess if the woman is also married they could both be considered cheating. Sure I accept that argument but the problem is as you say, what is appropriate may change at a specific time. The problem is times are changing and some people don't like the change. This change with woman becoming more independent and gaining economic and political power is a natural progression of our society. As a father I disagree with that. Look at the problems in households that do not have fathers. I see a lot of BIG trouble there too. There are also many examples of single father raising excellent children. Your cell phone example is perfect. Why is it any more the fault of the mother than the father if the children bury their heads in their phones all day? This seem like a perfect example where the father could do as much as the mother yet you are placing the blame on the changing attitude of women. What massive disarray in the family can the father not handle as well as the mother?
