My Second Life and other Secrets

Lisa Ling, on CNN's "This is Life", has done a fair job of exploring this subject a bit. I find she is too quick to generalize and doesn't realize how much she's missing, but all in all provides the most accurate insights that I've seen in the main stream media. Here she explores what I would call a truck-stop brothel. What she is missing entirely is the world of higher end and online escorts.

[video=youtube;kkUB9ZyorKU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkUB9ZyorKU&index=28&list=PLopBX9fxJwnn7euxWSQuLz5l 6rVcO4tmX[/video]

Here she looks at one side of the sugar baby world

[video=youtube;eBB1EiF49iU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBB1EiF49iU[/video]

 

Funny too how I started hearing things I never noticed before. This song was always a favorite when I was a kid. When I heard it again a few years ago, it was a whole new song!

[video=youtube;AyEHpSV_sSE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyEHpSV_sSE[/video]

 

'So when was the last time you had sex?'

'A hundred and twenty two years ago - a hundred and twenty five if you count my marriage.'

Woody Allen's 'Sleeper'.

 

When I first started all of this and was seeing escorts, I was making regular trips to a place I liked. It was upscale and tasteful [more of a private club than a brothel]. I got to know a lot of the women, who were all beautiful, classy, and independent. The trouble is that it was a bit of a jaunt to get there and I often had a long day. So one night I was seeing a new young lady at $500 an hour, and I fell asleep. She had no problem letting me sleep Luckily I woke up before too long. But soon all the women knew about it and would tease me. Are we going to take a nap tonight?

 

For many older men out there like me, there is the new experience of a hairless world. I find that somewhere between ages 35 and 40 and up, most women are fine with hair. But most younger women want their men hairless; front, back, and down under. This becomes a real issue. For one, how do you shave your own back?

So upon recommendation from number one, I tried waxing. WOW! I only did it once. It is pretty painful. They basically rip out a handful of hair at a time. When I was done, entire front and back, I was [glowing beat red under my shirt] and standing at the counter waiting to pay when one woman working there said, "I've never seen anyone do their entire front and back all at once!". WHAT?!?! LOL. No body mentioned that. But the real show stopper was the cost. It was something like $250 a visit and I needed to go again in a few weeks. So I then discovered the Man Groomer - an electric razor on a long articulating arm that allows you to shave your own back. Management down under is easy enough but the back was the challenge. And as for shaving overall, not only do many younger women consider it a matter of personal hygiene, as they say, nothing says "Daddy" like gray chest hairs.

The entire hairless thing was uncomfortable at first. It hit me on my first night in Reno. The first woman was 26 and her friend was 22. That alone was freaking me out a bit. Couple that with them being clean shaven down under, which was a new experience for me, and for a moment I felt like a child molester. But that is the norm these days and I quickly adjusted. Now, I like it.

 

I still keep my toe in the regular dating world. But I am constantly reminded of a paradox in play. It is easier to get a date with a hot 22 yo than it is an attractive 45 yo. Women are so guarded these days. For some reason, in the sb world, women seem more trusting. You don't have to bend over backwards to get a date. If you seem to be a good match and you are respectful, they are usually willing to meet for coffee straight up. This is part of what inspired me to take this approach. I estimated that I could date as many young beautiful women in a year doing this, as I could get regular dates with women closer to my age, over the rest of my life. How ironic is that? And therein lies part of the key to my choice. I realized that my best chance of finding something special is a numbers game. Even though the odds of finding true love with a much younger woman is far less likely per person, given that I can get about 50 times as many dates given the same effort, the odds of finding a young hottie who falls for me is likely as good as finding true love with an older woman. Its just a matter of math. And a coffee date costs about $10. Who would have thought that I could be dating all of these beauties and getting a chance to shine so easily, at ten bucks a pop?

It took me a long time to realize that just being friendly can be taken as flirting. I've actually gotten into a bit of dicey territory just by being nice. A woman at a local store who also happens to be a neighbor took my friendliness as flirting, and the next thing I knew her husband was giving me evil looks. What the hell...? It really caught me off guard. On a related note, there are a few woman around my age at my bank who joke around with me a lot. They have said on a number of occasions that I am happier than any other men my age who come in. They keep asking me what my secret is. Heh, I don't think we want to go there. And the truth is that I don't really know what they mean. I have found peace and basic happiness but nothing like it was being in love. I am searching just like most single people who want companionship.

Here's the point. I'm really a good guy. A lot of people might doubt that given my lifestyle but its true. I have a very good heart. And most women really like me once they get to know me. But you have to get to know me. If a guy has to get through an entrance exam before even being given a chance, they we can never really know if we might click. Half an hour for coffee is worth more than all the tests and rules and standards and clever statements that one can hope to make. Women need to lighten up and just talk. But I guess so many men are players and schemers that the nice guys have a hard time standing out. More than that, I think people have made a pseudoscience out of dating. It has gotten to be far too analytic. It reminds me of the woman who went on for pages about why her bf and her were a perfect match. They had been together for years but her bf wouldn't commit. It was a mystery to her. So I mentioned that in all the pages of talking about why they should get married, she never once said she loves him. Apparently that wasn't a reason to get married.

 

I wanted to marry number one because I loved her more than life itself. My reason took half a sentence.

 

One member just mused over my "mid-life crisis". This has come up many times, especially with women. It doesn't take long to realize this idea is just another way to marginalize men. It is used as a way to mock the real pain and desperation that men often endure as we realize we are left waiting to die. And the popular interpretation is a myth. Men often do what they have always wanted to do. Most men never stopped wanting hot cars and hot women. We can ignore those impulses for the sake of love and commitment. But it's not like middle-age men suddenly wake up and want hot women for the first time in 20 years. What changes are the circumstances.

Like me, they realize they are miserable and then start a new life. And then we play the game we have to play to get sex. It isn't a crisis that drives our choices. We are doing what we need to do. I didn't want to get the hair ripped from my body. The woman I was seeing wanted that. Yet I've had women make fun of me for doing it. How hypocritical! I didn't get waxed for my sake of vanity. I did it for a woman! Some guys spend a ton of money on clothes and cars and hair implants. I look young for my age and have most of my hair with very little gray, so I focused on fitness and got in great shape. From there, I realized that the ROI for sugar babies far exceeds any value in hot cars and hair implants. Instead of spending the money to get the women, you spend the money on the women. Far more efficient! A woman appreciates a helping hand far more than impressive stuff.

But the mid life crisis isn't about the women and sex. That is the solution to a crisis that often kills. And we are doing what men do, if we can. It has nothing to do with being middle aged.

 

Sure you did.

Yeah, so she would nurture your vanity.

 

I think maybe some men need to stop talking about themselves so much. Over 1000 pages? All about you? You kind of remind me a little of another poster on this board too.

 

I get on great with shopwomen and for two pins would ask them out on dates but the biggest problem is that I don't know if they're smokers, as I could never kiss a woman who smelt like a trucker, but how can I find out?
Shall I just ask them straight out if they smoke and hope it doesn't offend them?

 

I don't think you should ever screen people based on specifics... less total nuts or someone dangerous. I don't think there is any way to know who might turn your world upside down. And if someone does, you won't care if they smoke. But I guess it never hurts to ask if you must. It could be dropped in casual conversation without being obvious.

 

Oops. That should have been over 1000 POSTS. Oy. That's a lot of talking about yourself.

 

I was madly in love and you have no idea what you're talking about. She gave me more joy than I have ever known. I would have jumped off a cliff for her... In fact, in many ways, I did.

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So why are you reading? And there is a total of just over 230 posts in this thread, a number of which are you complaining or misleading people. Why are you misleading people in order to discredit me?

I know the answer. Just ask if you don't.

 

Still, you talk about yourself too much.

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This is probably why you can't hook up with a woman who is over 20 years old.

 

It's because they are young and stupid. Older women don't want to play your silly games, I'm sure.

 

I'm going to talk about me in your thread now. Man oh man, when I think back to how stupid I was and some of the stupid things I did when I was in my teens and twenties, I would like to go back in time and kick my own stupid ass.

 

DUDE....the "Entrance Exam" is called the first date and perhaps you might work on that whole personality thingy.

 

Sorry but I'm very fussy, and even if the most gorgeous woman in the world smokes, it'd kill my interest in her stone dead.
At the moment I quietly ask her fellow shopworkers if she smokes and find out that way.
And sometimes I discreetly hang about across the street from the shop at closing time to see if she lights up when she comes out.
Smokers apart, I'm also put off women who are odd even if they're gorgeous, like one I once got talking to; she looked at her watch and said "Well I'd better be going to my Spiritualist church now", in other words she talks to dead people, how friggin odd is that! So I never spoke to her again..

 

I think it's pretty clear that this guy isn't into "dating." He wants someone who is going to put out for money or gifts or whatever. I wouldn't want this guy dating MY daughter, that's for sure.

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PS: I don't have a daughter but if I did, I would talk her out of dating anyone who is this way, if you know what I mean.

 

I have equally trenchant views, not only about smokers but doggy lovers and religiosos too. Also I'd be much more interested in a mature woman than a younger (what used to be called) dolly bird type, most of whom have no character, are self-obsessed, not very bright, and the chances are very high that I'd have zero in common with them, and therefore would be always thinking of a way to get out of it. Off to Sainsbury's now . . .

 

I feel kind of sorry for OP. I don't see how going from one slut to the next is going to "help" him though. Not in the long run anyways.

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Could even end up with an STD or a pregnant "sugar baby."

 

One of my ex's friends is like this. He meets these young "ladies" online and hooks up with them in real life. Several of them have made his life a living hell. Lol. One of them moved in with him. They ended up fighting a lot, and she bashed him in the head with a golf club and knocked out several of his teeth. She also ended up having his baby, and now she is addicted to meth and is an absent parent. The baby is being raised by her parents. Luckily, they seem to be nice people and let our friend visit the baby. But here is this guy who is in his 50s, and he is the father of a baby.

 

Yeah, I get it. You were happy to give her counterfeit love to get the same in return.

Yeah, and you enjoy nothing more than having your sense of self-worth inflated as only a woman can.