My Second Life and other Secrets

There's a saying that goes 'Would you rather go to bed with a good woman or a good book?' Hold that thought!

 

What silly games. Saying hello? No, many can't even be courteous until they get through their little checklist. Do you always just make up whatever you want to believe?

Last night I went through an entrance exam just to see how far she would take it. We talked for over an hour and it was nothing but one big long interrogation; this before I know if I even want to know her. And after that, I don't.

 

Sorry, I have no interest in being cross examined as if I was in court. If they can't be courteous then I'm not interested anyway. Women are so targeted on their list that they probably blow right past many great opportunities, time and time again. Maybe that's why so many older women are so bitter, as is evident in this thread..

This all gets to the point I was making earlier. You can't treat love like a math test or a rent application.

 

I see....good luck dating, let alone finding love.

 

I guess for some there are no starters. But I don't think we can predict these things. Being crazy is one thing but if a woman smokes or drinks, I don't hold that against her. That's why god made toothbrushes.

 

Why would you say something like that? Jealous?

So you don't believe in love. I see that a lot; especially from religious people..

 

Nonsense. Taking little time to say hello before being interrogated is not unreasonable. You have simply accepted defeat and have chosen to be, or tolerate being disrespected. I have more self respect than that. But it is a common problem. Men have been beaten down.

And I do just fine; in fact far far better than most men my age... and much younger men for that matter. I just don't see a future with women close to my age. So I will have to settle for someone much younger.

Seriously, men need to insist on being respected and stop being played with like toys.

PS. If I can get a 22 yo woman who could be a playboy centerfold to fall in love with me, anything is possible. So I have no worries. I know what's possible. Loving someone with all your heart is a powerful force.

 

Actually I was the lead singer in a heavy metal band and quite actively enjoyed until getting married the first time. Have four children and an extremely attractive and successful third wife. I believe I have been "Respected" quite well by now and no longer enjoy the little girls you seem to brag about.

I suppose any commentary or advice are rather pointless....Have A Nice Day

 

PS. About 80-90% of the women who match my profile, based mainly on age and location, are significantly overweight. Obese, in fact. If a woman doesn't care enough to take better care of herself than that, why should I be interested. When I am reviewing potential matches, I can hardly click on NO fast enough. I often wonder what they are thinking. Do they think men don't care? That being said, I saw a photo of Chris L. As older women go, she's hot!

 

ROFL! I am highly doubtful of your stories. But if posting about what a "stud" you are makes you happy and proud, then who am I to point out that you seem kind of foolish.

 

Love? You've already made it pretty clear that this is not what you are interested in! Dude, you are ALL over the place.

 

Why wouldn't I, seeing it's true?

I'm nowhere near deluded enough to find your situation enviable, trust me.

How very amusing.

 

Isn't it interesting how people come after a man who refuses to play the game? This is definitely an issue. Older women tend to be very judgmental, but not so much the younger women. Older women tend to be threatened by this lifestyle because it takes men my age out of the normal dating loop. They also seem to have a hard time understanding and accepting the idea a relationship with a finite lifespan by design.

One year my niece was selling Girl Scout Cookies. My sister, her mom, called and asked if I wanted any. At the time was seeing number one. I didn't want any cookies but number one said she did. My sister sent the cookies but refused to take her money. My sister held her [number one] in such low regard that she didn't want her money. She couldn't conceive of the idea that I understood that this can't last forever and that I accepted that. She thought I was being used. This is a recurring theme. And it does provide insight into the difference between the way men and women view sexual relationships. Most men have no problem understanding my lifestyle at all. Many of those who know what I do are a bit jealous. But older women don't get it. They apparently can't conceive of the fact that sex is THAT important. But this is the truth: When I hit bottom, I realized that I could live without love. I had accepted that in my marriage for some time. But I couldn't live without sex.

When I revealed my lifestyle to an older woman I've known for a few years, and in particular when I was showing her photos of the women I've dated, she got very smug and said sarcastically, "Well... enjoy it while it lasts". No kidding! I replied. She had taken a jab to remind me that this can't last. But no one is more aware of that than me. That is why we have to make the most of every moment. When I am beyond my time, if I don't find someone, there are plenty of older women who want sexless marriages.

But the threat to older women is definitely there. In fact, I seriously doubt that my sister was ever really worried about me. She rationalizes this as the concern but her actions say otherwise. I think she was just threatened.

The woman who cuts my hair is such a joy. She is in her mid twenties and knows about all of my women. She has seen all of their photos and even likes hearing the more intimate details. But she totally gets it. I saw her on Saturday and we were talking about number one. She always thought it would work out and she [number one] would marry me. She knew how much I loved her and couldn't believe a woman would leave a man who loves her so much. She asked, looking back, was it worth it? God yes! If I died tomorrow it would be the highlight of my life. They were the best three years of my life. That made her smile. It was like she needed to be reassured that I hadn't come to regret it. But I have no regrets. It is far better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. It is definitely true! Love doesn't have to be forever. It is worth the price of a broken heart.

 

Stop your story telling please.

 

Been off my workout program for too long due to a shoulder injury. But I'm back on it again and noticed something interesting. For the first time since this all started, I am working out for me. In the past, it was all about the women. I wanted to be healthy but the thought of beautiful women and sex was my driving force. It was the reason I got up each day. It was why I ate a highly controlled diet. And that is why worked out like a madman. Workouts were always filled with a sense of urgency. I felt like needed to push as hard as I could and progress as fast as I could. It was a race against time and age. And I was trying to keep up with a 23 yo athlete.

But for some reason the sense of urgency is gone. I was fit and at my target weight long ago but was pushing hard to hit 10% body fat - Olympic level fitness. Due to my injury I had to back off and did put on a little weight; not bad but I added a inch or so on my waist. But when I work out now, I feel calm. There is no rush. I just enjoy it now. And I know the extra weight will melt away soon enough. I seem to have reached a new level peace in my second life. For the first time in five years I am starting to feel whole again without being madly in love.

Maybe I can still hit that 10% body fat goal.

I finally have a date with a young beauty I've been chasing for over six months. She is a ringer - 22 yo, smart [college student], blonde, and absolutely gorgeous with a body to die for. She made me work hard for it but finally agreed to meet in person.

 

I had actually cancelled on her at first. I told her that if it's going to take this long just to get a coffee date, this isn't going to work. But after about a week I texted her again and said I take it back. I said she is strikingly beautiful and I can't stop thinking about her. so if she's still willing, I'll take a date whenever I can get one. That seemed be what made the difference. She instantly got serious about meeting.

 

I should mention too, if you're not on one already, a regular workout program will definitely improve your quality of life. For middle-age men this is especially true because adding muscle increases testosterone levels. Fat increase estrogen levels. One of the main drivers of aging effects in men is decreasing testosterone levels. And increasing estrogen levels from fat make your girly.

Honest to god, I feel a thousand times better when I work out regularly. It is easy to get carried away, especially when I get a runners high. That's how I hurt my shoulder lifting weights. You can't tell that you're injuring yourself because of the high. So I guess with age we have to go slower on increasing weight. I was working out two days on, one off, but that may have been too much. I think I needed more time for my muscles to heal from the last workout. So I'm just lifting every other day for now.it

As it turns out, muscle also helps to regulate blood sugar levels. So for men and women who have blood sugar issues like I do, adding muscle can help. I don't know the exact mechanism but I know the result: I have a far higher tolerance to sugars now than I did five years ago.

 

The Elliptical is a sex machine. Thanks to the elliptical, I was able to stop using Viagra.

One unfortunate aspect of this lifestyle is that you have to be able to perform on cue. My performance was okay but not spectacular. Some nights were dicey and my refractory period [recovery time] was too long. Viagra fixed that but I only used it for about a year. It only took about three months on the elliptical and I was able to ditch the Viagra.

However, I was making a big mistake in the beginning. After working up to it for a few weeks, I would get on the elliptical and go for an hour using HIIT [High Intensity Interval Training]. I was soaking wet when I got done. My shirt looked like I had stood in the shower. While this is a great way to burn fat, and it is great for the cardio-vascular and respiratory systems, after 20-30 minutes, you start burning muscle. This is why distance runners are always rail thin. So to maximize the benefits of the elliptical, you never want to exceed 30 minutes of HIIT or hard training. Most trainers seem to recommend 10 minutes on the elliptical for a warm up, weight training, then 20 minutes on the elliptical with HIIT plus a warm down.

HIIT is now considered the best method to reduce body fat and improve fitness. It involves short periods of high-intensity output, with longer rest periods in between. You can carefully pace yourself so as not to exceed your safe heart rate limit [based on age and fitness]. 20 minutes of HIIT on the elliptical followed 30-40 minutes of weight lifting every other day, will change your life.

The benefits of HIIT continue through the next day. You continually burn fat at a greater rate than you normally would.

 

I act like like I'm your age and you act like you are mine. Obsession, some people confuse it with love, is an intoxicating drug very literally. The chemical reactions on the body and the brain signals are very similar. It is probably the safest drug you can be on I suppose.... but still it distorts perceptions. I suppose you are happy and maybe one day when I am your age I'll be able to relate. For now I wish you luck.

 

I appreciate the thought. In fact I knowingly used my obsession to crawl out of a very dark and deep hole; one from which many men never escape. See the suicide rate for middle-age men. What I discovered is that sex is closely tied to the will to live. At least it is for men like me. It isn't really a matter of sex being an obsession when you're getting regular sex. But try living without it for ten years. Slowly but surely I lost the will to live. And though there were many contributing factors to my psychological demise, I found that the desire for sex alone, once put into focus, was enough to reverse the desire to die, and regain the will to live. It was a lifeline.

I was madly in love and with her for three years. The best three years of my life. I will always love her but I have let go. I want to find that again.

You might want to consider that perhaps a guy your age is in no position to tell a guy my age about love. I have been around the block more than a few times. And I'm here to tell you, true love, all-consuming, awe-inspiring, incapacitating love, like something out of a movie or romance novel, like something out of a the cheesiest love song or poem, is real. And life doesn't get any better than that. It is worth having while you can even if it can't last forever. In fact, nothing ever does.

 

I was watching a documentary about Ronald Reagan that related stories about his relationship with Nancy. Ron and Nancy were not only from Hollywood, both actors, but they were a Hollywood romance story incarnate. As I sat an listened to commentary from friends, family, and White House staff, and excerpts from diaries, many from Ronald Reagan's own diary, it was clear that this was one of the luckiest men in the world. He found true love - the breathtaking, incapacitating, all consuming romantic love - and it lasted a lifetime. When Nancy was gone, even during their years at the White House, he would often stand and look out the window, anxious for her to return. He was lost without her. She was his world. He was deeply in love with her, and she him, until the end. It really is one of the true, great romance stories. Anyone would be lucky beyond measure to have what they had.

I often wonder, what are the odds of a person finding this? What percentage of marriages are a true romance story that lasts a lifetime?

 

I heard a good one:

"My sister and her husband just found out they haven't been legally married for the last ten years because the minister who married them was a fraud. It's really sad. Now, she'll have to lose all that weight."
- Emo

 

HWGA

Out of curiosity, if you met your absolute dream woman, are there any traits she might have which would make her a no-no for you, or do you place no importance on compatibility where sex is concerned. To make it clear, I for example have always noticed I have a profound inability to interact socially with dog owners and sports fanatics - specifically team sports.

 

I place sex at the top of the list. If the sex isn't amazing, I'm moving on. And that isn't really a problem because if you have bad sex with someone, you probably won't want to see them again anyway.

I tried living without sex for ten years, while married, and it almost led to my suicide. Or to be more specific, a lack of sex led to the loss of the will to live. I know now that I am one of those people who need a decent sex life in order to be happy. In fact, I have noticed that when I am in between sugar babies, I start getting depressed. I start losing my edge. I start losing the will to work out, to eat right, and getting up in the morning is harder. As my buddy says, he can always tell how my sex life is going by the skip in my step.

I feel more confident. And women even seem to find me more attractive. There is something about getting laid by a hot young lady that makes other women take notice. I guess its hormones... I can only guess but I definitely notice the effect. And when I was madly in love, other women would almost swoon when I talked about her. Many women are definitely enamored with a man who is madly in love. One woman who knew all about my escapes actually fell in love with me while I was seeing number 1. She swooned whenever I talked about how much I loved my sugar baby. She said she loved the look on my face when I talk about her.

Anyway, if success leads to success, then sex leads to sex.

 

I heard about an amazing bikini coming out this summer. It sounds wonderful! It consists of two band-aids

and two corks.

Sarah Silverman was lamenting that girls are being sexualized far too young these days. She said she went to change the diaper of her friend's six month old girl. She was completely shaved!