What does it mean to truly love someone?

You know over my lifetime I have loved and losed....and some of those loses occurred via death.....so I know what it is to feel both and understand them.

But the one most important thing I have learned is what it really is to love someone.

And how you must NEVER hurt the one you love.

Over the years I have run into issues where I had to make a choice over whether to do what was right for the well being of the person I loved even when what it was I had to do was something that was emotionally detrimental for me.

It is very hard when you come to such a point as on one hand you want to do everything and anything for the person you love to make them healthy, happy and give them whatever they need as far as what is in their best interests.......

.........and on the other hand your heart is screaming....NOOOO!! What about me???

But I can tell you all honestly and truthfully....if you don't do what is right for the one you love....you do NOT love them.

And if you don't do what is right it will haunt you for the rest of your life.

All you can do is take solace in the fact that you did the right thing.

And hope that your love can see this.

AA

 

That's the beginning of love.

It's when you're in a relationship for a long time that the pains come in.

At least that's what I've observed.

 

Well.....you can't have such pain unless you really love someone.

And it's better than not having someone to love.

AA

 

Life gives you people to love. Your family. Your relatives. People you are forced to interact with.

Why would you want to add to the list?

 

No one understands me.

 

Granny says...

... "Is when ya want an' wish the best for someone...

... which is why Uncle Ferd never got married."

 

You can't think like that Wga.

You gotta take a shot even if you might get hurt.

AA

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Well....find someone who does.

Take a shot.

AA

 

Sometimes you have to do exactly that. For example, after some years of estrangement I met a woman with whom I'd had a relationship. But it quickly became clear that I'd changed over those years but she hadn't, and I could see we were now incompatible. She was hurt when I backed away, but compatibility being the most important determinant bar none in a relationship, there was obviously no future in it.

 

I'm not going to take a shot.

I'm happier being alone.

 

What 'worldy' love is "I love me and want you."

Real love is a giving kind of love, sacrificial, and not expecting anything in return.

The standard is:

Corinthians 13Amplified Bible (AMP)
The Excellence of Love

 

You worrying me buddy.

AA

 

That's because you saw the other side of the fence and you couldn't comprehend it.

 

Me too. If you can't be with your soul mate there's a lot to be said for independence.

 

Going through life together, withstanding all the trials and tribulations life throws at you, then remaining together and still in love.

 

Falling in love is the best feeling anybody can ever have!!! One must try with the upmost importance to not hurt the one they love, and especially lie to the one they love. Of course lying can be hurtful, and can also take the one that loved you, from trusting you, to never trusting you again. A pivotal moment in a relationship, where love and everything was so great, to that feeling of being crushed, all from a lie. Weather a serious or weak lie, the properties of a lie is distrust.

Selfishness is also a crucial element that destroys relationships. It may not be spotted during the time in which the relationship is young. As time goes on, is usually when selfishness starts to occur. An example would be, the woman always goes to see the man's parents and has a great relationship with them, but when it's time to see the girlfriends parents, the man doesn't feel up to it, and decides not to. Leaving the woman wondering if he loves her, as she loves him. Or the man spending more time with his friends than her. So many examples I'll just leave it at that. One must sacrifice what they want to do, for what their loved one wants to do. If both people of the relationship do this, it will be noticed by both, and a mutual feeling on the matter occurs, as opposed to one feeling left out.

The most important part of a relationship in my view is, "FORGIVENESS". Though I will say, one cannot forgive, if what is being forgiven is constantly occurring. And it cannot stop occurring if one does not bring it up to the other. Keeping stuff locked up or hidden away is also a bad thing. A couple should be able to talk about the things they are weak on or bothered by. Even outside a relationship, the most important action people can do is FORGIVE. For we all say and do stuff we wish we wouldn't have. If one truly loves someone, it's almost not even a choice to forgive.

Before a separation of a relationship, the couple must at the least try and remember that first day they met. And the days of the young relationship, when from my experience are days in which I can't wait to get up, just to see and be with her. The laughter and silly things we done together, is truly how a relationship should stay.

 

If one wants an example of unconditional love at its finest, just look at a good ol faithful dog! Will defend their owner to their death, etc. Die sleeping on their owner's grave. True faithfulness.

They've got it!

 

OK.....there are a few things this reply from you could apply to so I need you to spell it out for me.

Either here or in a PM?

AA

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You can still have your freedom and enjoy being with the one you love.

If you and she or he really love one another then you give each other all the freedom in the world.

Being oppressive or jealous is not real love.

AA

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That's it right there.

No matter what comes both of your ways....you adapt and overcome.

If one of you say's they can't.....then that's not love.

AA

 

You know the reason why they call it FALLING in love is the huge amount of biochemical releases into a persons bloodstream when they are in love actually makes them feel like they are actually falling.

Now the younger you are the harder you fall.

AA

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I would ABSOLUTELY fight and if necessary DIE for the one I love.

I would not even give it a second thought.

But then of course I am Genetically Hardwired to be like this.

AA

 

Not really the younger you are the harder you fall, rather the more relationships the harder to fall. Not ever having a relationship is going to lead to a strong love. Having 10-15 is almost meaningless. The original is what was meant.

 

Another example of real love is when 1 spouse of an elderly couple married 70 yrs dies, the other spouse often follows in days to weeks.

We had a friend of the family whose husband of 70 yrs passed away, and her name for him in life was "Old Sweet." And during the year she lived after his passing she would often pine and shed tears while remembering & talking about Old Sweet. So when she did pass within a year, we were happy for her and knew that she went to be with her life's love, Old Sweet.....

 

You've been brought up to believe in love. Two people love each other and get together that's just how things are done.

Well I've seen another way. People don't fall in love, instead they learn to enjoy their independence alone, as cerberus puts it.

Independence is the best way I've seen it put. A person can enjoy living alone in independence.

 

You say that like you believe it.....but you and I both know deep down you really don't.

And you can have all the independence in the world and also have the one you love at the same time.

AA

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No....you don't understand.

It is a FACT that the younger a person is the harder they FALL in love and the harder their Heart BREAKS.

It is just a simple Biochemical Fact of Human physiology.

AA

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Because one of our now large Family Owned Companies is specific to Healthcare....I see this all the time.

It seems they hold on to life for each other and when one dies....very soon after the other dies as well.

It's both sad and beautiful.

AA

 

Then you've gotten the wrong impression about me.

Sure, sure life is about getting together with the one that you love. Love life, chemicals...

That is until the day I wake up and realize this is about being happy if I wasn't in a relationship.

Why get started when I know I'm happier alone. Think!

 

I don't believe you Wga.

You are my friend and I will accept anything you say....but that doesn't mean I believe THIS!

AA

 

And that's because your' trapped in the box.