You are indeed defending the person who said that fat people have poor character. You don’t realize it but as I say you learn about a person by the argument he defends skinny people might have poor characteristics but we don’t stereotype them as having poor character. Just because you add that they might have some good character qualities doesn’t make it any better. You are pre-judging a group of people and if you want to say I am lying so be it It is true what I am saying. You don’t even realize that you are not seeing them as individuals Stereotyping is a very dangerous thing
Hmmm. I find it highly interesting that you know more about my actions than I do myself. I have no idea which person and post you are referring to and can honestly say that I have not, from what I can remember, defended any other opinion than my own. Furthermore, it is highly ambidextrous that you knowingly distort my argument so that you get a reason to shame me and put me in a bad light. I did not say that fat people have "poor character", I said that the fact that they are fat is the obvious symptom of at least one bad aspect of their character. We all have both strengths and weaknesses. I myself am skrawny and according to the pseudo-scientific measure of BMI, I am actually underweight. This is partially due to the bad characteristic of laziness and the lack of motivation and discipline that makes me prioritise other things over "hitting the gym". Admitting your own faults and pointing out faults in others is not entirely evil. If our loved ones have bad habits, we tell them about it out of love, don't we? Obesity displays- among other things - poor impulse control, low self-respect, gluttony in absurdum and laziness - all of which are bad characteristics. Oh, yes we do. I am sure that many people look at me and ask themselves why on Earth I am built like a 10 year old. However, it is important to note that obesity is an actual health issue causing actual suffering. Being "skinny" does not necessarily mean you are unhealthy whuch is why skinniness is not as frequently associated with negative characteristics as is obesity. It is, in addition, also important to note that there is a vast diffrence between being a few pounds overweight and being obese. Obesity is not a good thing and it should neither be excused nor defended. Yes, I am indeed guilty of "pre-judging". However, I am not a collectivist, so I only judge individuals and rarely regard members of one group as a homogenous entity. Not at all obese persons are alike. And what is so wrong about "pre-judging" individuals anyways? If a mother hits her child on public transport, I will immediately regard her as a bad mother. If I read a story about a rapist I will automatically think that the rapist is the trash of universe who deserve to be beheaded, have his blood fed to the pigs and have the pigs defecate on his grave. Heck, even you are making yourself guilty of "pre-juding" me when you claim I have opinions that I do not have.
What is wrong about prejudging?You are doing it here believing that heavy people have poor impulse control, low self-respect, gluttony and laziness. Your example is silly, you see that mother who was hitting her child on public transportation as an individual.Do you see all mothers that way? Do you attribute those qualities to all mothers the way you attribute certain qualities to fat people? Sometimes we don’t realize that some people can read between the lines and you go back-and-forth No one is saying obesity is a good thing and to say it should never be excused or defended makes my point. Sometimes there are medical reasons and sometimes there are horrendous psychological reasons.lik,victims of sexual abuse. I guess I am saying we should never judge a book by its cover
I used to be on the slim side and I always got stick for it. It used to really get to me. One time a women I used to work with was constantly trying to have a go at me. Every single day I would get digs from her about how I was too skinny for a 18 year old male, she was constantly trying to demasiclitate me. After weeks of sly remarks I cracked... in the lunch room she went on as usual "you are constantly eat like a pig, you're constantly eating not stop, why are you so skinny you look like a little girl". That was it.... My reply " you eat so little why are you so fat?" She was fat and always trying some fad diet which never worked. I got seen as the bad guy for humiliating that fat pig infront of everyone. I have always been involved in sport as far back as I can remember but I was particularly "skinny" at that time because I was young, weight training and boxing at the time. The compound movements at the gym increased my power dramatically and coupled with the high intensity boxing training I did at night, it kept my weight at a minimum. My body was constantly hungry for food and I found it hard to keep up. I I was ripped and in the greatest shape of my life, although with a work shirt on I just looked thin. It wasent just this girl too I constantly had people on my back, having a dig about how I looked, it seemed it was ok for overweight coutch potatoes to rip into me about my body shape to make themselves feel better. To this day I have a great physic because I love to train, I no longer box and have moved onto bodybuilding. I have no sympathy for fatties and look down on them with disgust. People are fat because they don't look after themselves.
Interesting that would really get it for you was saying you were like a girl. What could be worse than being like a female?(sarcasm alert) I think the woman was rude but meantime she obviously changed your life
It wasent just her but I suppose the constant insults from everyone about my weight did change me. I think everyone telling me that there was somthing wrong with the way I looked did shape me. As I got older I eventually got bored and decided to give up my first love boxing. My second love now become my first, I got serious about weights and I loved to train. That's when I really started to grow without the huge amounts cardio my body packed on muscle. This is where I think my negative experience changed me it led me to judge people just like those people did to me. Like the woman become just an ugly fat pig to me. This toxic thought pattern led me judging other people more too . I would see weakness in people rather than seeing their strengths. I did recognise this as insecurity and I don't do this any more. I suppose body changes then mind follows or the constant torment from others stopped and I got secure enough that I didn't need to compare myself to others. But yeah i digress it's not just fat people get a hard time skinny guys really are given hell too and it seems to be socially acceptable to give them ****.
Very often fat people who lose weight still see themselves that way. As I’ve mentioned I thought sex education and one of the things I did on the test was ask the kids, not publicly of course, if they are happy with their bodies. Practically every time the boys would say yes and the girls would say no
Boys and men do not like neither sharing nor being emotional. They prefer to act. The last person a young boy would share his insecurities with would be his female sex-ed teacher.
You are so wrong. I would have probably said the same thing before I taught the class. Boys would spill their guts out in their journals. They felt safe because they weren’t talking to me, just writing. I will say it took at least a month before they really started talking because I would ask questions while the girls would start from day one. I had some funny experiences like one boy was asking if he should ask Maria out, and Maria was writing about him telling me what a pain in the ass he was. Actually the main reason for the journaling was for me to intervene if there was any kind of abuse. Sadly there were several where I had to intervene. I had told them their journals were strictly confidential but if I thought they were in danger I had to report it
Oh OK I think I will go back in the classroom and have the kids journal again so I can prove it to you. (Sarcasm alert) I guess not everybody was as confident as you were in the eighth grade. The closest I can get to proof is the book I am finishing on adolescents where I make reference to some of their stories....But it doesn’t matter because you won’t believe me. Obviously you had no hangups as a kid..by the way I had 2 gay kids come out
Ma'm, I was once a young boy myself. You just said they didn't though? And how does this prove that I am "so wrong"? I would argue it rather proves that I am so right. Cute story, ma'm. Cool story.
I remember an English exam in 8th or 9th grade where we had to write about "our ideal partner" and even that was to cutesy-sweetsy fpr us boys whereas all the girls went "yay!" Do I even need to tell that there was never an assignment of "describe your favourite fighting scene from a film", "describe your favourite sport moment" or other boy-ish stuff like that to "even out the playing field"? Anyways, the point I am trying to make is that if even something as "innocent" as describing your ideal partner to your teacher puts a teenage boy off, then imagine what forcing him to "open up" and "share" does to him. This is not so much about "socialisation" and fear of being "demasculinised" as it is about the basic fact that that kind of histrionic crap bores the hell out of boys. Even the boy who is bullied for his appearence and therefore cries himself to sleep would answer "yes" to the question "Are you happy with your body?" because it is not in his nature to be all emotionally hysterical.
I find it interesting that you feel confident in speaking for "Boys" as I was one and don't really agree. I was not "Put Off" by opening up, but then again I was not an average boy....I even wore mascara once in a while. Thing is I did so to go on stage and play heavy metal as the front man for ROXAUF. Demascualization was not even a thing or even a word, from what I remember and I often discussed feelings with females when asked. Anyway, you do not speak for "Boys" but for yourself and that alone, though there may be others who think as you do.
No I don't believe you. I was a boy once you never were. I know better than you. I studied psychology with regard to this exact thing. I doubt you ever did.
Oh I see because you were a young boy yourself, you can speak for the hundreds of teen boys and girls i journaled with. You don’t know what you would do. You might even do like one of my students did and that was come out to me and expressed his fear of getting beaten up. My classroom was so safe that this boy actually did come out to the class and they were very kind and these were very tough kids I said they did! They felt safe enough to write their anxieties. I was safe ..and not their mother! Well you know what over 1000 teenagers had written to me because after all you are one and you know exactly what you would have doneL You can be sure there were hundreds that were like you and didn’t share very much and would talk about sports with me or other things but to actually think that there weren’t boys who were very conflicted and in emotional pain is naive. Sometimes we have to stop projecting onto others. Not everyone is like you, not all men think it’s macho not to share feelings.
That is something that I taught about. And you make the example that sharing your feelings is “demasculinizing” By the way nothing was forced on them. Their only assignment in my sex Ed class was to hand in a journal once a week. They could write about anything and a little by little they would get a little more personal as the class went on. But many just wrote about sports or other things but sometimes I would ask questions and that would open the door Interesting also that you think if a boy is not happy with his body it means he is emotionally hysterical. Boys bodies are not judged as harshly as girls bodies. Nobody talks about boys ankles or the size of his waist.
LOL. If you studied psychology which I did also by the way, that was my major you probably learned about projection and that is exactly what you are doing. You were a boy once and you wouldn’t open up so therefore no other boys would. Unfortunately you never had a teacher like me where kids felt safe to write. Maybe you wouldn’t have suffered. Maybe you would’ve had a teacher who wouldn’t allow kids to disparage gay people and call them perverts while you would just sit there quietly. It’s surprising that a psych major doesn’t understand the power of the written word without eye contact. . But like the extremists here, They think that I am saying every boy shared his feelings. No there were plenty of boys who talked about getting new sneakers but then there were boys that were being abused etc. I cannot tell you over the years how many boys said they never had sex but that I should never tell anyone. I reassured them by telling them so many boys are saying the same thing. If you don’t believe me that’s fine. Nothing I could do. Sometimes when I would tell my husband what kids write he would say that he doesn’t think he could ever have done that either. I’m very proud that so many did. But like I said the interesting thing is that they wouldn’t talk to me face to face because it was too embarrassing
I never spoke on behalf of the girls did I? Nah. I dealt with my bully by beating him up because I knew the teacher(s) would not do anything to stop him.
No, I did not say that. Stop putting words in my mouth. I never said that a boy who has insecurities is emotionally hysterical. I said that boys normally do not express their emotion with the same kind of openess as do girls.
Well, my general observation is that men who married Asian foreign national women tend to be very traditional men who believe that women should be seen but not heard, and they are often very controlling. That said, many of them end up surprised by their wives after a few years. This is a general observation, there are exceptions.
I suppose it has to do with age, l do feel females feel pressure look a certain way from very early age. Boys not so much. As they age late teens I think that's when society starts putting pressure on young men and start giving them expectations on how they should look.
