Smartie's Bar & Grill #69

" One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry." -- The late poet/author/playwright (and noted cynic) Oscar Wilde

Of course, I disregarded his guidance on the topic. Twice.

 

Hey I know her.....well uhm, them.

 

Just a coffee thought.

 

Hopefully not at the same time.

 

A woman here at work 'salts' the coffee. I look at her a little sideways when she does it, but maybe I'll try it too.

 

An easy one is 1 gallon of distilled water, 750mg Epsom salts, and 250 mg baking soda. Shake well and compare to coffee made with tap water. I use calcium chloride too but not really a household item.

 

SMW? That aint salt she is carrying around in that lil flask. Just sayin.

 

#metoo.

 

I know, but then again, my little flask ain't salt either.

 

I sure hope what ever happens at sheep camp stays at sheep camp.

 

Lots of people are electrocuted or blown up while fokking with either.

 

… But you left out the vegies?

Don't you want her to be healthy and strong ?!

You need vitamins !!

 

Steamed clams is an aphrodisiac. She is plenty healthy and strong.

 

Just woke after 9 hours of deep sleep following last night's graveyard shift.

So I was in the guard shack (a metal container with doors and windows, one space heater, a lamp, and a socket to plug in my computer) when while looking out the window around midnight I see a car coming into the property.

So I grab and put on my jacket and head outside and shine my 1200 lumen mountain bike flashlight at this intruder.

He keeps going by. But he does not know this is a dead-end dirt road and he must turn around.

So I walk to a spot slightly behind a small mound where he cannot run over me and I continue to shine my light at him as he makes a U-turn.

Then I point with my finger and arm to the ground by my side and shine my flashlight on my arm so he can see it in order to signal him to stop.

He pulls up and stops.

I say, "Good evening! Where are you headed?"

He says, "I'm trying to get back on the freeway."

I reply, "Down a dirt road past a closed gate onto private property with millions of dollars of equipment on it huh ?!"

He replies, "Sorry I was lost. And I wanted to know where this road goes."

And I reply, "And … ??"

And he replies, "Sorry, but I did not know it was private property."

So I retort, "Well since I have never seen you here before, this is your first and only warning. You need to go back the way you came in and never come back. If I see you here ever again I will arrest you and you will spend the night in jail for trespassing."

And he concludes, "Ok thank you."

And I tell him, "Good night."

Thieves have all sorts of ruses to get onto properties.

But they always crap their pants whenever a guard lights them up with a really bright flashlight.

That was all the excitement from last night. Other than 2 raccoons, 1 deer, an owl, and a skunk.

Today is my Saturday. And if I want I can have the next 4 days off.

 

V I T A M I N S.

 

Clams are higher in iron than beef liver. At leastt got a mineral, and laid.

 

The 4 food groups that every meal should include are:

- protein (meat)

- vegies (vitamins)

- carbs (rice, noodles, potatoes etc.)

- fruit (more vitamins).

 

You did fix plenty of protein yes.

But you need V I T A M I N S too.

 

Whenever I am propositioning a lady/woman/girl I always just feed her alcohol.

1 part Everclear, 2 parts fruit juice.

@Smartmouthwoman would love to be my consort.

 

Time to go shopping.

I need more booze, more cat food, more people food, milk, bottled water, etc.

I am hungry for lobster and crab. So I'll get that at the meat counter and boil it tonight with melted butter.

My carbs will be steamed white rice.

My fruit will be white wine.

I already sent-in my by-mail ballot so I don't care much about campaign news however there is a political debate on tonight between an incumbent corrupt Republican and a challenging family-man Democrat. It will be fun to watch.

 

Don’t be a creeper.

 

Women love alcohol.

Just ask @Smartmouthwoman .

 

After my lobster and crab leg fest earlier this afternoon, I fell back asleep and slept until about midnight. Today was my Saturday and sleep was the order of the day. I ended up getting about 14 hours' sleep today since I got home at 0630AM this morning.

Now I am up at my usual graveyard time of 0300AM and ready to go to work.

I need to work at my desk with my computer taking care of business matters regarding my state license renewals. I have been putting this off but with December 31 approaching I need to get all the Continuing Ed' that I took verified and printed. The verifications come in the email after the classes are finished.

My cat apparently missed me because he curled up by my side and slept with me. He sleeps as much as I do. Now he is up too and outside in the pitch dark night hunting.

 

Well then, that was a bit more then I wanted to know, lol.

Don't they know that toys should be plugged into GFI outlets? (I am going to burn in hell for this)