Gallows Humor

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Derideo_Te, Mar 12, 2020.

  1. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    The employees at the Amazon distribution center, in Kent, Wa, are protesting because they don't have any masks or hand sanitizer, and one employee there has tested positive.

    I emailed them to say that they can usually get anything they need online, from Amazon.
     
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  2. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    Coming soon: Trump Crematoriums!

    MDGA!

    Making death great again!

    Also coming soon, the new trump protein crackers. Keto friendly.
     
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2020
  3. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Aaaaaagggghhhh!
     
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  4. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    I take it Netflix is streaming Soylent Green?
     
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  5. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    I just checked. Nope. But I did watch Outbreak! LOL!
     
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  6. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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  7. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    Reporter: Mr President, you stated a month ago that the number of infections will soon be zero. Do you admit that you were wrong?

    trump: That is a horrible and partisan question to ask. You are scum. Your mother hates you. I said no real Americans will be infected. It is a Chinese virus. If you have it you are Chinese, not American. Okay? Got it? There are no American infections.
     
  8. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    The trump administration released it's revised distancing standards today. It is a manual that already existed called
    How avoid disease transmission, by Stormy Daniels.

    As a result, condoms are flying off the shelf like toilet paper.
     
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  9. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    Coffin futures are way up! MAGA!!!
     
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  10. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]


    Mr Pillow is going to make medical masks!


    What could possibly go wrong with having a pillow on your face?
     
  11. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    Cut the guy a break, he needs to make money to cover the lawsuits over his pillows.
     
  12. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    He claimed his pillows cure everything from multiple sclerosis to cerebral palsy. They might be a cure for Covid 19 as well.
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2020
  13. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    Trump announced today that he will determine how many ventilators each State will need. This will be based on the amount of oxygen he feels each patient will need.
     
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  14. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    Today trump told his followers that it is going to get ugly. In order to beat Biden in November, this needs to be over. He explained that his followers can all make a difference and move this along by licking 10 public doorknobs, once a day..
     
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  15. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    The White House announced today that Ventilators provided by the Federal Government are to be called Trumpilators.

    Whenever a State receives Trumpilators from the Federal Government, a thank you note praising trump shall be written by the Governor of that State. It shall be read aloud on the evening news along with at least two references to the incredible product, My Pillow.
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2020
  16. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    Going to church?

    ...and he won't kill you.
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2020
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  17. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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  18. LoneStarGal

    LoneStarGal Well-Known Member Past Donor

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  19. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    Trump introduced the Covfefe 19 Task Force this afternoon.

    He also stated that millions of N-69 masks will be going out.
     
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  20. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    GOP Governors standing up for liberty - No ****** virus tells us 'mercans what to do. I'm going to church and then the bar. MAGA!
     
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  21. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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  22. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    Mixed signals:

    It's a hoax. People always get the flu. Nothing to worry about, go on about your normal activities.

    Gun shops are essential businesses that need to remain open because people need guns in these times.

    Is it Nirvana or Armageddon?
     
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  23. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    It's the RW Nirvageddon! They get to call it a hoax while hiding under the bed with an AK... in case the virus attacks.
     
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2020
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  24. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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  25. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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