My Second Life and other Secrets

Still seeing both women. I can't make up my mind! I have decided to just go with it for now. I can't escape the fact that sub and I have special chemistry. When I hold her in my arms, it feels like she has always been there. We feel like a natural fit. I feel at peace when I'm holding her. But I am also feeling closer to 16 each time we see each other. We definitely had a very nice evening last week. Sub is a bit of a wild child and isn't very reliable. But she's trying. And I just feel more attracted to her.

I had a major health crisis right after my last post. And it was a very close call. I almost didn't make it. But I bounced right back and was dating again three weeks later. .

Funny thing, for about an hour I knew I may not make it. And I never felt any fear. No review of my life. No thoughts of lost love. No fear of death. Just a sense of dealing with things calmly; submitting to the experts who saved my life, and accepting whatever happens.

 

Was it a Heart Attack? I have read that they are often accompanied by a feeling of doom and I've always thought that's not at all a proper response for your body to have. Yours is far better

 

I'd rather not discuss the specifics of the medical crisis. But it was a very close call.

 

wow from your pic you look very strong and muscular, well wishes towards your recovery

 

So it was cardio-vascular.

 

Always posting in bad faith. What a surprise.

No, all of my numbers are good and he said my heart looks great.

 

I thought you were super fit? Congenital issues? Atherosclerosis?

Any scarring resulting? New meds?

 

Why, are you going to use some of your voodoo on me? Go do a magic dance and it will come to you.

And I'm healthy enough to date two women half my age.

 

See what happens with some women. All they need to know is that I see younger women and they are OUT TO GET ME. They go into a jealous rage and do everything they can to defame me. It is really very sad. After having a good part of my adult life ruined by women, I just wanted to be happy and found a way. And see what I get?

 

Thanks. That wasn't really me. I was just joking. IIRC, that guy was about half my age.

That said, I am in great shape. And at times I can make the 30 yos at the gym look bad. For a time I was even shooting for 10% body fat. But at my age that requires an insane commitment.

 

i thought you were like Joe Rogan, he is a 55 year old jew jitsu master who can beat up most 30 year olds like edward snowden.

 

I am a bater master.

I'm pretty buff but not as buff as him.

 

I don't know what to do about 16. We have a very nice time but there is no magnetism; no spark, no fire. Also, as far as personal interaction, turns out she is a talker. Once she gets going you can't get a word in edgewise. LOL! On a practical level I hate to completely cut ties because we might still be able to help each other. She lives very close and can help with animals and such. So I may try to take this to a different level. She is very nice and very responsible. And an occasional evening is fine, But I am looking for fire. We talked a bit about the nature of these relationships and we are both on the same page. She has also hinted at very long term practical needs. So I think she will understand and be willing to help out with the daily personal stuff.

On the other hand, Sub thrills me. She isn't super hot but it feels like we belong together when I hold her and engage. And there is more than a spark. I think there is the potential for a roaring fire. Not only that, without even knowing it at first, I picked her out twice over a period of four years. It is the look of fire in her eyes that got to me both times. And now I understand why she flaked out so badly the first time. I thought it was drugs just because of the pattern. But it turns out she has family issues that cause problems.

 

Yep, I don't know how things will work out with Sub but I can't deny the attraction. Any considerations of sticking with 16 are purely practical. I decided to follow my heart seven years ago and don't plan to stop now. If there is no passion, it really isn't worth doing. In that case I might as well be seeing escorts.

But I can only hope that Sub doesn't completely flake out on me again. Sigh...

 

From another discussion, I'm not sure if I ever told the entire story of Number One, and how I might have loved her for over 2000 years.
http://www.politicalforum.com/index...f-anti-science.349804/page-13#post-1071151883

So now I remember losing her twice. Do I spend eternity finding and losing her?

 

So strange, I just received an email from Number One saying how much she loved me, and always will.

What funny timing. And what a joy to read. She even referenced what I was just saying in the link above. Such a joy... And there hasn't been a day since she left that I haven't missed her more than I can say, She also said something she's never said before. She not only said she loved me,. but she was in love with me.

 

younger women are naturally stronger than older men

sugar dads who survive sugar babies are like super men, with super human powers.

 

Time to reconnect?

 

After all this time she needed to tell me that she did fall in love with me. And she doesn't know if she could have me in her life again... "Doesn't know"?

We said goodbye four and a half years ago. We have stayed in touch and met twice for coffee, the last time being over two years ago. But she was with someone else and contact was very limited. She has moved and I didn't think I would ever see her again. I expected contact to be all but null.I don't know what to think. But there is no doubt that I still love her far more than I've ever loved anything or anyone, by far.

She made a point of saying we are definitely connected souls. Funny after just talking about that the day before.

 

It's called synchronicity, & it reflects the constant underlying connections that we all have within us across incarnations. I will be hoping for the happiest outcome for you & the love of your life.

 

I thought you would like that. It definitely struck me as unlikely and it surprised me. And thank you.

At times like this I have to pull back and remember rule #1: Live in the moment and don't become attached to the outcome. What will happen, will happen. But my response will include that there hasn't been day since the moment I looked into her eyes and lost control of my life, that I haven't loved her more than I thought it possible to love anyone.

The first time I looked deeply into her eyes, honest to god, I had an out of body experience. From that moment and for months, I really didn't understand what was happening to me. I was helpless. It was the most amazing experience of my life.

 

It was really interesting that she needed to "clear the air" for the third time since she left - this time admitting that she had fallen in love with me. Wow, I was very sensitive to her energy or mood or state of mind, whatever you want to call it, and I knew that she loved me before she did. But I NEVER knew or imagined that she had fallen IN love with me. I am still processing that. And it was really interesting to read about her feelings over seven years down the road.

She definitely cracked the door open to the possibility that we may reconnect. I wanted to make it clear that I would certainly take her back in a heartbeat, but without seeming to get ahead of myself or her. I wanted to be sure she didn't read anything I said as an expectation. So I tried to tone things down a bit and simply tell her that I still love her every day. From there, we did some catching up. She split up with the guy she had moved moved in with when she relocated. But her business is doing well. She loves where she is living. And in her words, she is having "too much fun". That makes me happy. I just wish she wasn't 1000 miles away.

I also told her that it's probably best that I didn't know she had fallen in love with me. I don't know how I could have ever let her go. As it was, it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. If I knew she had fallen in love and was still walking away, I don't think I could have taken it.

 

But, not fit enough to make a relationship work.

 

you appear to be highly evolved because this lifestyle is the future of America.

marriages are a business relationship judging by our President, but you have got rid of most of the paperwork

no need for a prenup anymore.

 

I've had a number of wonderful relationships. Why are you lying about my life?