Tasteless Humor II The Second One.

I don't know if you're aware of this, but if you took all the money that we in the West spend on food in one week, you could feed the Third World for one year. I'm not sure about you people, but I think we're being overcharged on groceries.

 

There's over 400 million people with type 2 diabetes mostly self inflicted and 2 billion starving people now that is a JOKE it's just not funny and happens to be true.

 

I know. We are too fat, too lazy and eat too much.
That's why it's diabetes 2.

 

Yuck!

 

Excellent film YOU MUST watch it has Bill Murray in it too he's great as is Randy Quaid.

 

actually feed the hungry with the 'wasted' foods from every grocery, deli, bodega that didnt sell. add up all the available food from all the sources in your neighborhood and you'll see there's enough food available for 3-5 times the population of your 'hood', multiply that by every local in the western world, i'd bet that the waste of just the usa could feed all the world's hungry, everyday...

rant over, back to tastelessless...

ponder... would an ethiopian kid be jealous of an american fat f*ck with diabetes/heart disease or would the kid rather remain hungry?

let's parade a bunch of our fattest, most unhealthy f*ckers to an ethiopian crowd & explain to them this is what happens if you eat too much, consider yourselves lucky and stop whining!

edit: force them to watch 'my 600lb life' nonstop...

 

Try explaining fat acceptance to them

 

"Not simply a Tornado Mr President but a Tornado with sharks." Mike Lee Nobel prize winner in advanced trolling.

 

Obscene isnt it?

 

Ethiopia sold large parts of it's farm land to China!

Now that's true obscenity!

 

The health minister has announced a sweeping new plan to tackle alcoholism.
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When asked for specifics he said , All options are under the table.

 

I found a hearing aid outside my garden gate.
When I saw my elderly neighbour I asked, "Excuse me sir, is this yours?"
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He just blanked me the ignorant ****!

 

‘Man circumcised by mistake when surgeons confused him for another patient’
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Guess this is what they mean by undesirable cutbacks in the NHS.

 

How does a deaf bloke know when his wife has died?

 

To the little rascal who stole my glasses. I will find you.
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I've got contacts.

 

Having seen a number of billboards exclaiming 1 in 3 kids live with hunger everyday, and others talking about how the Earth is overpopulated, we could solve two problems with one minor adjustment to our moral code....

Cannibalism, it's what' for dinner!

 

Why did the pre-op transsexual cross the road?
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It certainly wasn’t to come to my house and suck my **** while my wife was out, after meeting on Grindr ...if that’s what you were thinking.

 

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.
So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.

"Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?"

"Morris Feinberg," he replied.

"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews, and the Muslims."

"I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop."

"I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults and to love their fellow man."

"I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interests of the people ahead of their own interests."

And finally "I pray that everyone will be happy".

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"


"Like I'm talking to a ****ing Brick wall!"

 

When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

 

Trust me, not a problem. Here if someone says "My you've gotten fat since I last saw you." The normal response is "You think? Why thank you for noticing."

I once acted as translator between a friend of mine and a group of women that have the hots for him. I swear, one of these days they're going to strap his ankles and feet to a table and take turns with him. And one of them is a nun! Anywho, one of them told me to tell him that she wasn't pregnant, just really fat. I translated accurately and amazingly kept a straight face while doing so. That line ranks right up there with "My wife died this morning at 2. I took her to a doctor and she's OK now."

 

Each Friday night I drove my wife to the train station so she could go to visit her sister who was ill. Ten minutes later, MY sister arrived by train so that she could help with the house and kids over the weekend while my wife was away. On Sundays this procedure worked in reverse with my sister departing by train 10 minutes before my wife arrived.

One evening after my sister left and while I awaited my wife's arrival, a porter sauntered over.

"Mister," he said, "you sure have some system going! But one of these days you're goin' to get caught!"

 

Another old man's "never" credo:
Never pass a urinal
Never trust a fart
Never waste a hard-on

 

me in a guy are sitting in a bar when I suggest we go on a poontang hunt. The guy tells me, "no thanks, I got more at home that I can handle" I then say to him, "good then let's go to your house".

 

You know when you're drunk...


..when you put your food in the microwave and then enter your PIN number.