How a husband can enjoy sex that is grudgingly given by his wife

No. You do not understand what it is like to be a woman. Because you are not a woman. What is your interest in women's issues?

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Based on what source/ authority?

 

Gender does not mean a person can't understand that NO means NO..


..you don't understand and as you have repeatedly HAD to announce, you are a woman....YOU don't understand.


NO one needs to be a woman to understand that women are not property and when they say no they mean no and if you force them it's rape.

 

Yeah, your male gender doesn't have the capability to understand women.
Blacks aren't property in the US either.
I wouldn't have the audacity to speak on their behalf or pretend to understand their thoughts.

 

A violation of one's will and physical space is a violation regardless of the identity of the perpetrator. Of course there is a "difference"...in the circumstances and your perception of the person forcing themselves upon you. If a woman is raped by a stranger, naturally that presents a scary scenario of what ifs, such as...contracting an STD, pregnancy and scariest of all, the possibility of being physically brutalized or killed, but that being said, no one the right to force themselves intimately upon another person. A marriage license is not a license to abuse and demoralize.

 

Okay, so it's all the same. I don't really have a problem with the guy in the article being thought of as a rapist.

 

Good GAWD! HOW did you get THAT from this:





Quote Originally Posted by FoxHastings View Post

Gender does not mean a person can't understand that NO means NO..


..you don't understand and as you have repeatedly HAD to announce, you are a woman....YOU don't understand.


NO one needs to be a woman to understand that women are not property and when they say no they mean no and if you force them it's rape.""""






A "male gender" is not a person so no, it doesn't understand.

Blacks have nothing to do with this discussion....or did you think that "no person can be property" didn't include blacks for some reason?????

And you seem to have the audacity to speak for lots of groups.....

But that has nothing to do with the issue being discussed...

Do you think married women are property?

If you do then I can se where you are " confused".



It is just plain stupid to think that what gender you are has anything to do with the FACT that women aren't property and No means No .....

 

If my "junkie kid" robbed me at gunpoint like the stranger and NO they are NOT different as far as the crime is concerned.

 

There's no "rape" here - the article is talking about consensual sex, a person can consent while still not being in the mood. (Personally the best way to get a woman in the mood is to be good at foreplay, I wouldn't expect a fundamentalist website to even know what foreplay is, but no one's forcing anyone to marry an austere religious person).

Enough of this "having sex but regretting it 2 years later = rape" crap - it belittles actual rape. What next? A guy is still a virgin during his senior year in HS, so he feels "pressured" into having sex with a fat chick just so he can win a bet to lose his "V card" - therefore the fat chick "raped him".

 

No one has to understand that physically forcing someone to have sex is "rape" - because it's a no-brainer.

On a side note, sometimes a woman will say "no" in some-role playing fantasies - but I'm assuming you aren't talking about that.

If you think that consenting to sex, then deciding that it was "rape" 1 week later because you "weren't in the mood" is okay, then think again.

 

Show proof that I EVER indicated I agree with the bolded....show proof.

You can't because I didn't . I NEVER said consenting to sex was rape EVER....

 

I think it has a similar psychological effect on women as rape, especially if occurring over a long period of time.I'm shocked the article doesn't mention any mre creative ways for a man to please his wife, so that she may be more exciting at the prospects of sex.

 

Fact is if you're using "pressure" to have sex as the same as actual rape (literally forcing someone to have sex against their will)...

...then by the same standard, the kid who banged "Steffler's mom" on American Pie was "raped" since he was pressured into it because of a bet to lose his virginity

Unless you're talking about something along the lines of an Islamist theocracy where a woman more or less can't leave her husband without harm or repercussion then I'd say the claim is wrong, and so is dividing it along the lines of the sex of the individual.

 

Read through the entire thread. I've adjusted my view from what others have said, though I wouldn't lose sleep over the hypothetical man in the article being labelled a rapist.

 

Perhaps if the guy knew what he was doing in the sack he wouldn't be having such issues! LOL!!!

AboveAlpha

 

I don't know if it's necessarily creepy. Wanting sex and focusing on a woman's body doesn't mean she's not a person. It means the guy is a typical man. It's more like the wife submitted to "doing him a favor" than rape, i.e. sex is like a chore in this situation. It's like when she asks the guy to take out the trash. He won't enjoy doing it, but he may be willing to do this chore for her sake or the sake of keeping the peace. So it's not exactly rape, but it's far from ideal. I think it's okay if it happens every once in awhile assuming she doesn't resent him for it, but if that's the main way that sex happens for them, that's definitely a problem. Sex is supposed to be one of the greatest joys in life for most people. There's something wrong if it becomes a duty.

There's other things the guy should do besides focus on her body when she's doing him this favor. In general, they need to explore what she likes and what would make her be more into it. That's a lot more important in the long run. If that fails, even with professional help, then it may be a problem of other things in their life getting in the way and they may need to re-balance their lives. Maybe she's too stressed and overwhelmed to get into it. If that fails too, then it may be time to consider if the couple is sexually compatible. Sexual incompatibility is definitely a reason to go separate ways, and be happier for it.

 

That is a very big part of it.

 

Like Steve Martin said.....I know how to make women really want it as I keep them waiting for me by saying......"Honey....I am shutting you off!"

Now if I can just learn how to get the women to stop laughing after I say this....

AboveAlpha

 

The article was based on a question written in by a guy about this issue. I'd assume this isn't a rare occurrence if he's writing in to a blog for advice. And part of what made the article crepy was the lack of any real concern for the woman's pleasure. Barely a word is devoted to offering suggestions on how to explore other ways to please your woman in bed.

 

It would make sense to apply a lot of negative words to that like foolish and selfish, but I'm not so sure about creepy. That's more like rape/sex offender stuff.

 

You say tomatoes; I say tomatoes (that doesn't quite have the same flare written down, does it?).

 

Ha, nice. I don't recall the word creepy ever being applied to me with me knowing about it, but it still hits a nerve because of how some women I used to know casually threw that word around. Some guy who likes them who they don't like is "creepy." With the way sex offenders are treated as worse than murderers in this culture, it just seems kind of messed up to use a word like creepy lightly.

 

Interesting post....could I add that :

IF the man didn't have to be ASKED to take out the garbage(do his own laundry, vacuum, walk the dog, cook a meal) but just considered it part of "living in a home and having garbage and people with a brain take care of the garbage without being told there's garbage to take out "....then maybe the women would have a nicer, friendlier view of the man....as if they were partners and friends !!!!!

 

If a husband is not enjoying sex with his wife it's because his wife lost attraction for him or, in many cases, was never attracted to him in the first place. It is up to the husband to get his (*)(*)(*)(*) together, focus on him, improve himself both physically and socially and soon he might start to see a new approach to sex by his wife. If he doesn't, well then its time for divorce, in which he will be severly punished financially and may that serve him as a lesson to not get married to women who marry you but don't love you.

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Creepy is code word for unatractive beta males.

 

Ha, yeah that's typical I think. I think guys just usually have a higher threshold before taking care of these things, for whatever reason. So it's always like yeah I was going to do the dishes... when I run out of plates or it starts to smell funny. But you can't wait that long when the average woman, or cleaner-than-average man is around. Now that's an element of compatibility that clashes more often than sex. Another example would be having completely different approaches to handling money or raising children. It just takes a lot of things falling together for a relationship to go well, but it seems like most things can be fixed if the partners communicate their needs to each other, listen to each other, and give a (*)(*)(*)(*).

 

Yup, I agree. And I think men are "less clean" than women because many men view housekeeping as a "female " thing (the woman's job) so they don't consider it very important.

Sexism can be very detrimental to a good relationship.