Can sexuality change over time?

It makes no sense at all. If I like masculine then I'm not going to be attracted to women. Lol.

Nope, words have meaning, even the words masculine and feminine. Go look them up.

 

Perhaps that may have not been a good example. Perhaps a better one would be a pair of friends of mine. They're a lesbian couple. One of them is is very feminine, the other is rather masculine. In fact her persona in the SCA is a male. She's a woman, is fine with being a woman, has no desire to be anything other than a woman...yet she exhibits a lot of masculine traits.

And the feminine one is still attracted to her even though she has masculine traits but is female.

Masculinity and Femininity do not always have to be hand-in-hand with sexual or romantic attraction.

Masculinity (also called boyhood, manliness, or manhood) is a set of attributes, behaviors and roles generally associated with boys and men. Masculinity is made up of both socially-defined and biologically-created factors, distinct from the definition of the male biological sex. Both males and females can exhibit masculine traits and behavior.

Although often ignored in discussions of masculinity, women can also express masculine traits and behaviors. In Western culture, female masculinity has been codified into identities such as "tomboy" and "butch". Although female masculinity is often associated with lesbianism, expressing masculinity is not necessarily related to a woman's sexuality.

Femininity (also called girlishness, womanliness or womanhood) is a set of attributes, behaviors, and roles generally associated with girls and women. Femininity is socially constructed, but made up of both socially-defined and biologically-created factors. This makes it distinct from the definition of the biological female sex, as both males and females can exhibit feminine traits.

In Western culture, effeminate men are often associated with homosexuality, although femininity is not necessarily related to a man's sexuality. Because men are normalized and pressured to be masculine and heterosexual, feminine men are "otherized" and assumed to be gay or queer because of how they perform their gender.

 

I'd need a little more fleshing out to realize what you're reacting to but, since I'm not going to get it, I'll just leave well alone.

You most probably have except you probably didn't realize it because they wouldn't comport to what you perceive as (tellingly indicated by your quotation marks) "gay".

Well you did admit to being bossy. One thing that bossy and controlling people often do is dress up their directives as a certain kind of joke. That way they can convince themselves that they're not really that bossy. However when you're on the receiving end, it still comes across as a directive (case in point).

What if I don't want to lighten up? What if I'm a dour academic who just wants to get to the core of the subject at hand?

What if we simply have a wildly different sense of humor?

 

Yes, they have! The pre-natal hormonal theory applies to transgenders too. Although exceptions - of course - does exist and some of them are thus just mental.

Yeah, pubescent 8th graders will pretend to be lesbians to catch the attention of boys, however I doubt any straight female above 15 would ever do it other than as a joke or to avoid some perverted creep. Boys/men however would never fake gayness since there is nothing in it for them.

 

Girls love to see men fight, don't lie!

 

I know what the word means. But even though the fellow in the video isn't very masculine that i agree with, I don't see how he's feminine.

fem·i·nin·i·ty
ˌfeməˈninədē/
noun

1. the quality of being female; womanliness.
   "she celebrates her femininity by wearing makeup and high heels"
   synonyms: womanliness, feminineness, womanly qualities, feminine qualities
   "she was a woman truly comfortable with her femininity"

What qualities of womanlyness did he have? How did he celebrate his femininity?

I already said he wasn't wearing make up, he had on a wife beater which is not women's clothing necessarily, and he had a men's hair cut.

I understand he isn't masculine but what is feminine about him? He

 

To a degree I would agree with you. I think most women like a more masculine guy. But if masculinity can be over the top I don't think they like the most masculine men, because they are fighters. I think women get confused on what masculinity is because they want the type that they like to be the epitome of masculinity.

Some guys are just jerks. That's a masculine trait. That's one of the reasons i pick guys that are less masculine. Though I'm not really into feminine guys to me they fit more into the trans side of things.

 

Whatever, mister. You don't even know anything about me or my life, so you should probably stop with the personal comments.

 

That's not a "masculine" trait. That is a jerk trait. I know many masculine men who aren't jerks and who love and respect women.

 

Besides that, I would say that MEN are the bossier ones. They are the ones who always want to be in control of everything and a lot of them (on message boards especially) are pompous know it alls! Now, THAT is a masculine trait that could turn into a jerky trait if the person doesn't keep it under control!

 

The guy in the video she presented does seem less masculine to me, but that doesn't equal femininity in my book. I tend to be drawn to less masculine guys.

To me it's an important distinction to make between a less masculine guy and an effeminate guy.

ChrisL doesn't seem to be making that distinction. She is suggesting that a less masculine guy is the same as a woman. I completely disagree. If they were straight guys that can't get anywhere would go with them. Women are a whole different thing. I've dated a woman, and i have dated men. Even the less masculine guys are very different from women.
I want to list the differences, but i don't think they apply universally to women or men so they are just my observations both first and second hand. And they aren't meant to be negative or positive, just observation.

First, women are possessive. This seems to be unanimous. I have never dated a guy that was. One female friend actually dated a possessive guy, but that was the only exception I've encountered.

As a general rule women seem to be more materialistic than guys.

Women seem a little more stubborn in accepting advice especially from a man. They seem to take it as men thinking they're idiots because they are women. I've observed this not only in romantic relationships but in professional ones as well as academic ones.

Maybe these qualities are good, I can see reasons for them all. Women are possessive because men think about sex constantly. Women also make decisions based on safety and longevity where as guys seem a little more impulsive and damn the consequences. Materialism mild materialism makes sense.

It doesn't matter if a dude lisps a little, or does that "gay voice." There are fundamental differences that are deeper than this superficial nonsense.

 

Being a jerk is a masculine trait.

If course, I've not run across many women that were jerks, at least not in the way a meat head super masculine dude was.

But fighting is absolutely a masculine trait. Men are physically stronger, they are easier to make angry they make testosterone. And if someone threatens the family town or country it's the men that fight, that's what they are built for.

 

Well, I wouldn't call arrogance bossyness. There are certainly men who try to control everything. But women have an evolutionary reason to be. They traditionally rule the household and are in charge of children. Men do it to compensate for insecurity.

 

That man in the video was highly effeminate in his mannerisms. You don't have to be wearing a dress and a wig to be feminine acting.

 

The guy in the video calls HIMSELF feminine. Lol. Did you not read the titles?

 

I wasn't being personal.

I was generalizing about certain personality traits.

 

So give a specific mannerism within that video and explain how it expresses his "womanlyness" please?

 

Oh, so if a lumber jack with a beard that wears flannel shirts drinks his coffee black, swings an ax all day long, presents a majestic stoicism and defends his family with his bear might claims to be feminine he is?

Yeah I read titles, I also read definitions and since you made the parameters of this discussion by the dictionary, I'm going by your parameters.

Femininity is the expression of womanlyness. Please give a specific mannerism as an example within that video and explain how it expresses womanlyness.

 

Okay, this discussion doesn't seem to really be going anywhere.

So I'm going to ask you a few questions.

You said you didn't understand why masculine gay men like what you call effeminate gay men.

You repeatedly asked me a question, hunting for an answer.

Are you interested in understanding?

If you said yes to that, than you should listen to someone that thinks this way. All you have done is try to jam your opinions onto me about what femininity is. You can't quantify your definition within the example you presented so I have to disagree with your evaluation.

So do you really want to understand? Or do you want me to say "yeah, what gives with that? "

If it's the former stop talking at me and I'll explain. If it's the latter, I'm sorry, i don't feel that way.

 

Oh I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK....

 

Lol...

 

Lol @ labels and wanting everyone to conform to a well defined cubby hole niche and abstain from crossover into the unknown.....

 

So do some women, when it suits their convenience.

 

I asked a general question, not addressed to anyone in particular. You took it upon yourself to make ridiculous assertions. You can say a lot of things about me, but the one thing you cannot say is that I am dishonest.

I see your dishonesty.

 

and if someone doesn't give you the answer that you've already devised before even asking the question and if someone doesn't give you the answer that you've already device before even asking the question you get hostile.

It came off as you had a preconceived notion and just wanted it echoed back.

I think I just did.

The dishonesty that i think just because a man isn't as masculine as me he's feminine? That's an opinion sweetie.