Tasteless Humor 3, Lord How Many More?

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed. Phyllis Diller

 

As we dressed for church, my wife asked if her dress made her butt look big. I said, knowing this question was the equivalent of an IED for relationships, "I'll only answer if you swear that you won't get angry."

"I swear you can say anything," she said, "I'll love you anyway."

That's when I told her I slept with her sister.

 

I watch zombie movies to prepare for unlikely future events. Pornhub the same.

 

I went to the pet store to get some food for my daughter's cat. On impulse, I bought him a new bowl for Christmas. "Do you want his name engraved on it? It's free," the cashier inquired.

"It's pointless," I said, "He can't read."

 

I used to be a boy trapped in a woman's body.






But after 9 long months, I was finally born!

 

Boom tish!

 

...said the Muslim

 

Knuckleduster seems a bit extreme.

 

Not at all. The midgets heal fast but the residual memory of the consequences lasts, at least subliminally.
GO SANTA GO!!!!

 

An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?"
The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she
is old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees'. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with
her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?"
The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."

 

What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison? A. You can't wash your hands in a buffalo.

 

I drunk driver is stop for heading the wrong way on a one-way street. The police officer asked the driver didn't you see the arrows.
The drink responds, "Arrows, I couldn't even see the Indians.

 

A clean dirty joke. Red Skelton is smiling in Heaven.

 

Husband: “Why don’t you ever tell me when you have an orgasm?” ... Wife: “You said never to call you at work!”

 

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.' - Phyllis Diller

 

Castration of Strawberry Roan