Woman walks in to a cocktail bar, looks at the cocktail menu, says, "I want a double entendre please" Barman says, "Ok, I will give you one"
A sign posted at an the counter of an auto parts store: "How can I soar with eagles when I work with turkeys"
Proper LOL at this, always a fan of his, my favourite being the terrible tale of bovine TB, The fall of the house of Udder!
Two guys walking down a street. Across the street a dog is sitting and licking it's testicles. One guy says to the other guy: "I wish I could do that." His friend says: "Don"t you think you ought to pet it first?"
Ask for a part and you are told that they don't have it. But you persist, explaining the problem and ask if he is sure he doesn't have the part. So he spells out the word N.O. and asks you what part of that word do you not understand.
True, but I had to laugh. I have an uncle who is mentally challenged. He has an IQ of 60 [born with CP]. He does amazingly well but gets things a little confused sometimes. The other night he sent a photo that he thought was a video, and said I should watch the paper clip. LOL!
My gf and I were recently talking about getting an ear worm - when you can't get a song out of your head. For a moment I thought to say that she was my heart worm. I am so glad I have learned to keep my mouth shut more than not.
shouldn't that be "the beatings will continue even IF morale improves." Had a boss like that once - once.
If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
Punnetical observations. Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? Hot-water heaters are not hot-water heaters. They are cold-water heaters. Many people will take meat out of the freezer to dethaw it. If you dethaw something you freeze it. [likely a twist on bethaw - to thaw - german origins] The word is prostrate, not prostate! And prostate, not prostrate! The first time a radio antenna was turned on and pointed towards the heavens to be used like a telescope, there was something causing radio noise no matter where they pointed the antenna. They finally decided it was due to bird poop from the many birds that had been nesting inside the antenna. But they cleaned the antenna and it didn't fix the problem. It turned out to that it was the cosmic background radiation - the radio echo and fingerprint of the Big Bang. Religious fundamentalists still think it was bird poop.
There is a new electric car coming out that beats the price of the competition by 50%. And NO BATTERIES!!! The killer is the price of the extension cord.
