Tasteless Humor II The Second One.

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Feb 21, 2019.

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  1. The Rhetoric of Life

    The Rhetoric of Life Banned

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  2. The Rhetoric of Life

    The Rhetoric of Life Banned

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    That's a good one; safety first; shake hands with protection.
     
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  3. The Rhetoric of Life

    The Rhetoric of Life Banned

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    This decade eh...
     
  4. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    The couch potato 20's?
     
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  5. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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  6. The Rhetoric of Life

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  8. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Well how nice!
    Two older southern women recently rekindle a friendship after many, many years. They decide to meet for tea and discuss their lives.
    The first older lady, starts telling the second about all the wonderful things her husband has done for her over her life. “See this big ol ring right here on my finger? My husband bought me that, because he loves me.”
    Second lady, “Well how nice.”
    First lady, “See that big ol nice car out there? My husband bought me that, because he loves me”
    Second lady, “Well how nice.”
    First lady pulls out her phone and starts showing the other pictures of her house. “See this big ol house right here? My husband bought me that, because he loves me.”
    Second lady, “Well how nice.”
    First lady, “Well now, I’ve been going on and on about my husband, what has yours done for you?”
    Second lady, “Well my husband sent me to finishing school.”
    First lady, incredulous, “Now why would he do something like that?”
    Second lady, “So I’d learn to say things like ‘Well how nice’ instead of **** you.”
     
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  9. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    A rabbi and a priest
    Were good friends. One day the preist asked the rabbi if he could fill in for him for confessions. The rabbi said that he would do it just he needs some lessons on how to do it. So the priest told him to come over and he would show him how. the rabbi comes over and sits down with the priest. The first lady walks in and tells the preist that she has sinned so the priest asks what did you do she says i slept with 3 different men this week the preist says no problem just give $5 to charity and pray that God forgives you. The next lady walks in and tells the priest that she has sinned and again the priest asks what she did and the lady says I slept with 3 different men this week so the priest says no problem just give $5 to charity and pray that God forgives you. The priest then turned to the rabbi and says see how it works now you try. So the next lady walks in and tells the rabbi that she has sinned so the rabbi asks what her sin was the lady says I slept with 2 men this week the rabbi says quick go do it 1 more time there is a great deal today for 3 for $5
     
  10. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Nixon's disease
    The First Lady starts having trouble in her lady areas, so she visits the gynecologist.
    The gynecologist takes her into the exam room and asks her what she's having trouble with, and she notes an itching sensation.
    So the doctor looks under a magnifying loupe and sees that she has a case of the crabs.
    Now he just has to break the news to her.
    "Oh, God. How on earth am I gonna tell the First Lady she has crabs?"
    He thinks.
    So, after a minute or so of awkward silence, the doctor sighs and says
    "I'm very sorry ma'am, but you appear to be suffering from nixon's disease"
    "What's that?" She asks
    "Well, you have bugs in your Oval Office".
     
  11. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Just had Little Richard round to trim the garden
    He lopped all the rhubarb, he lopped bamboo
     
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  12. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Jesus is playing a round of golf with Moses in Heaven and they come upon a water trap.
    Jesus turns to Moses and asks, "Didn't you do something with water once?" and Moses says yeah, and proceeds to do the trick where he parts the waters.
    Jesus is impressed, and Moses in turn asks, "Didn't you also do something with water?"
    Jesus says, "Yeah, watch this" and proceeds to step out onto the water, but he sinks almost immediately to his knees. He gets out, gets a running start, and tries again, this time sinking to his waist. He comes out confused and embarrassed, and Moses asks, "What was it you were trying to do?"
    "I used to be able to be able to walk on water.”
    The last time you tried it, did you have those holes in your feet?" Moses asks.
     
  13. Liberty Monkey

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    Did you hear about the Hollywood actress who had an audition with Weinstein?

    She blew it.........
     
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  14. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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  15. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Why doesn’t anyone like my Little Richard witticism?
    I thought it was cute.
     
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  16. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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  17. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    Because
    (snif)
    you've touched a sensitive subject for me.
    (snif snif)
    I love rhubarb. I have bamboo. But rhubarb doesn't
    (snif)
    grow in the tropics.

    Now I have to go wash my hands and face because I wiped away the tears.
    I hope you're satisfied.
     
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  18. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Thank you, sorry you’re sad!
     
  19. ToddWB

    ToddWB Well-Known Member Donor

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    I didn't get it.. figured it was an Aussie thing.
    Y'all are getting weirder.. uh.. than usual.
     
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  20. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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  21. Montegriffo

    Montegriffo Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
    The anal bead rating of several different countries shows how length has increased due to social distancing.
     
  22. Jestsayin

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  23. Jestsayin

    Jestsayin Well-Known Member Donor

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    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Thank you.
     
  25. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    !
     
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