Tasteless Humor

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Jul 19, 2014.

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  1. BestViewedWithCable

    BestViewedWithCable Well-Known Member

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  2. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    My friend has a 60's AA car repair handbook that recommends chicken wire and concrete for body repairs ;)
     
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  3. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess's lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so." That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: "I don't @&%x think so."
     
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2018
  4. BestViewedWithCable

    BestViewedWithCable Well-Known Member

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    At the custody hearing Billy and Jean proved he was the one.
     
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  5. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    That was before duct tape.
     
  6. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Ohhh la di da with your duct tape ;)
     
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  7. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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  8. The Scotsman

    The Scotsman Well-Known Member

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  9. Moi621

    Moi621 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    ALL WHO SUPPORT ABORTIONS

    ARE ALREADY BORNED. :hmm:


     
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  10. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Haha!
     
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  11. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. BITES.

    FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL, 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG.

    FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG.

    GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.

    FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT ... BEEN OUT AWHILE .. BETTER BE A REWARD.

    SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

    COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED ... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

    NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY.

    HUMMERS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"

    GEORGIA PEACHES, CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.

    NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE.

    JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.

    FOR SALE: ONE MAN SIX WOMAN HOT TUB.

    FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica - no longer needed. Got married last month. Wife knows everything.
     
  12. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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  13. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Jimmy Carr joke. I saw this clip on a mates phone but I can't find the YouTube video. Jimmy Carr said-

    How do you make a gay s***g a woman?
    .
    .
    S**t in her c**t

    Talk about not being PC correct, lol.
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2018
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  14. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Michael Jackson was nuts over his new girlfriends.
     
  15. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Michael Jackson was apparently so shocked by this photo he turned white...
     
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  16. The Rhetoric of Life

    The Rhetoric of Life Banned

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  17. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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  18. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I went into a fancy dress hire shop and asked for a vampire outfit, the assistant came back with a full Man United kit. I said “I think that you have misheard me love, I said that I want to look like a Count”
     
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  19. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    With all these months now having slogans connected to them for doing something such as "stopping drinking for Stoptober,growing a Moustache for Movember" and such like.
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    This is a good thing but I will be drawing the line at "Gaypril"
     
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  20. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    An Irish painter by the name of Murphy, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist.

    Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over Ireland were coming to the town of Miltown Malbay, in County Clare, to get him to paint their likenesses.

    One day, a beautiful young English woman arrived at his house in a stretch limo and asked if he would paint her in the nude. This being the first time anyone had made such a request he was a bit perturbed, particularly when the woman told him that money was no object; in fact, and she was willing to pay up to 10,000 pounds.

    Not wanting to get into any marital strife, he asked her to wait while he went into the house to confer with Mary, his wife. They talked much about the Rightness and Wrongness of it. It was hard to make the decision but finally his wife agreed, on one condition. In a few minutes he returned.

    "T'would be me pleasure to paint yer portrait, missus," he said "The wife says it's okay. "I'll paint you in the nude all right; but I have to at least leave me socks on, so I have a place to wipe me brush
     
  21. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    My wife crashed her car this morning. When the police came she said the guy involved was on his mobile and eating a pie at the time. The police advised her the guy was entitled to do what he wanted in his own conservatory.
     
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  22. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    If I had a dollar for every gender.....
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    I'd have $2 ;)
     
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  23. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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  24. Moi621

    Moi621 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    17 Deaths in North Carolina due to Hurricane Florence.

    How many is that is Puerto Ricans?
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2018
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  25. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Someone's been watching Smokey and the Bandit
     
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